Four Friends One Dream: Forming The Pack
by NerdyNervosa
Summary: Four children form a strong friendship and form a rock band in the early 1960s. It is told through the eyes of the four main characters.
1. Flirty Al

Chapter 1

**Flirty Al **

"I'm Alvin Goldsteen also known as Flirty Al. I want to tell you about my all about myself from my childhood to my stint in the 1960s psychedelic rock group The Lone Wolves. I want to start with telling you a little bit about my childhood. I was born on May 28, 1955 in the Brunette Hills neighborhood of Katie Springs, New York. I am mixed with English ancestry on my mothers side and African American on my fathers. I have one older brother named Jason Goldsteen. We're half brothers due to us having different fathers. While living in New York between 1955 and 1962 living with Jason was pure hell. The only saving grace was that I helped my mother around the house. Jason was unreliable and a troublemaker. He was always outside hanging with the neighborhood kids getting into trouble."

"I was very active in school. I was in the drama club. I performed in community plays usually taking the opposite roles of the lead. I felt that by doing that I would be setting a foundation for future endeavors in theatre and film. My father died while I was an infant which left our mother a widow. Jason's father left as soon has he learned she was pregnant which is unforgivable. So I believe that Jason was acting out partially because of it. Honestly his behavior towards my mother and I were inexcusable. Jason would always beat me up when mother was away at work. But I always fought back regardless of how much bigger he was than me. In 1961 my mother lost her house and we relocated to the southern tier of New York and settled in Queens. There were nights when my mother would be frightened and scream in her sleep."

"I would comfort her back to sleep like a son should. I never knew why she was screaming but would soon find out. Being from western New York and the quietness we were used to Queens was definitely a contrast. People were everywhere and it was busy. Mother always had a vehicle but it was so hectic at times she would catch a cab or take the subway to work. While she was away I took charge of the house. I didn't care that Jason and I were three years apart because responsibility didn't have a age requirement. Responsibility was something she instilled in us and I applied it to my everyday life. Jason started experimenting with drugs as early as six years old. Mother would whip him and take him to psychiatrists but nothing seemed to work. Eventually she threw in the towel as far as Jason's drug experimentation but reared him in everything she valued important."

"I remember when in September of 1961 when I was six years I would beaten up by Jason and his friends. They drug me into the street and left me there. I was almost hit by a car but I got up in time. I couldn't believe my own brother would try and get me killed. I never thought he despised me so much that he would go to such great lengths to try and kill me. I told my mother and she beat and had me step outside the room while she disciplined him. I noticed that after every beating he got he would beat me harder every time we fought. He took a brazing iron and burned my arm. I retaliated by grabbing a large butchers knife and cut him across his chest. He left me alone for the next few months after that but the verbal antagonism didn't stop. I wrote my first song at six called A Fathers Light. When I sang it to my mother that was my first singing experience. My mother was a contralto so she knew what my vocal range was just by hearing it. Jason was jealous because of my singing and dancing abilities. I remember time in 1962 when I was taking a shower Jason turned off the hot water and I had to bathe in ice cold water. When I dressed myself for bed I went and spoke to Jason about the cold water. He quickly denied my claims of him turning off the hot water. I decided against telling my mother because she was already stressing on how she was going to make rent, lights and water. I felt so helpless."

"Despite being a child I wanted help her because being financially limited was not fun. There were nights when I would see my mother dressed in skimpy outfits. I would see men dropping her off. Jason told me that I had to accept that our was a whore. I told him that she was not that and watched her come upstairs. When we were inside my mother hugged me. I hugged her back and I felt tears stain my shirt. My mother was crying which was something I never saw her do. She made two cups of coffee and she talked about how she may have a steady job. I was too young to understand but one thing I knew, a job meant financially stability and more breathing room. She started work that Friday. I cooked baked fish and salad and along with lemon iced tea. I knew that since she was working having a hot meal and clean house would bring my mother a great peace of mind. When she came home I hung her coat up and led her to the kitchen."

She sat down and I poured her a glass of iced tea. She savored in the flavor and told me it was delicious. I glowed from her compliment and ate dinner with her. She asked me where Jason was and I told her I didn't know. She sighed heavily and walked into her bedroom and showered. I washed the dishes, showered and went to bed. We didn't attend church because my mother believed them to be hypocrites. The following Monday morning I found two of Jason's friends asleep next to me. I woke them up and told them to get out of my room. They didn't budge so I pushed them both out of my bed. I made my bed and went to shower. When I came out an hour later they were gone. I went and questioned Jason. He said that needed a place to crash. I asked him if mother knew about this and he said no. Fortunately mother was standing in the doorway. Jason looked dumbfounded and lost. She asked what they were doing here and he said that they didn't have a place to crash."

"She said that she didn't care to never invite anyone to her house again. Jason huffed and went back to bed. My mother and I walked to the kitchen and had a cup of coffee together. There was an hour before school and I was already dressed. Jason was still in the bathroom showering. Mother yelled that he better not be late because she wasn't driving him. Thirty minutes later Jason came out dressed with backpack on. My mother greeted him and he ignored her. She reprimanded him and told him that when an adult speaks to him he speaks back. He sighed and said good morning. He didn't acknowledge me but I still told him good morning. Soon the bus arrived and I kissed mother goodbye and headed out the door. As I took my seat Jason's friends threw paper balls at me. Instead of retaliating I ignored them and looked out the window. I was thinking about what would life be like outside of New York. I was thinking about a place like California or Washington state. When we arrived at school I stepped off the bus and entered the building. I didn't have any friends there. I was an outcast due to my biracial background. I didn't mind it because it was something I couldn't help. I walked to the cafeteria and helped myself to some cinnamon rolls and apple juice."

"I loved sweet breakfast food and cinnamon rolls and iced glazed donuts were my favorite. Jason was around the cafeteria somewhere. I sat at my usual table alone and ate alone. The teachers tried to get me to open to the other students but I didn't want to because I knew the results. Plus I liked being alone it was less drama and chaos. When the bell rang I headed to class. I sat in class and took notes. We had a mathematics test. Math was my best subject and history was my weakest. When I finished which was thirty-five minutes later I handed in my test. I received my grade immediately. I scored a ninety-six. For the remainder of the day we had recess which was when I sat alone at the playground bench writing songs. I never fell in love so I wrote songs about struggle and dealing with ignorant people. I never showed anyone what I wrote because it would cause a political uproar. A teacher was walking in my direction and I quickly put my lyrics in my pocket."

"When he sat down he asked me why I wasn't interacting with the other children. I looked at him and said that I didn't want to and that no one understand me except my mother. He said that I'll never know unless I tried. I never took him up on that and remained on the bench writing after he left me be. When recess ended I got up and lined up with the rest of the class. One of the white boys in my class pushed me to the ground and called me mulatto. I gritted my teeth and rose to my feet. I turned around and punched him in his face. I saw blood grace my knuckles for the first time when he stumbled back. Somebody told the teacher that I broke the students nose and was sent to the principal's office at the end of the day. My mother came up to the school and asked me what happened. I told her that another student pushed me and called me a mulatto. Her facial expression went from worry to anger immediately. She asked where the other student was and the principal said that he was the nurse's office."

"She asked if he received punishment for his actions and the principal said no, and he was wearing a smile. My mother took my hand and said that if I were sent here again for defending myself she would raise hell the next time she came. She took my hand and we left the school. When we got to the car we saw Jason already standing there. He was leaning on the, and he looked annoyed. We got in the car and Jason asked me what happened. I told him that I was attacked by another student for being different and I defended myself. He said that I should learn to keep my head down because we lived in a time when biraciality wasn't accepted. I told him I didn't care and that everyone has something that's different about them whether its there skin or whatever. When we got home when mother was out of earshot Jason told me he was ashamed to be my brother because I was mixed with African American ancestry."

"I told him he didn't have to talk to me for this rest of his life. He said that as wonderful as that sounded he couldn't because we lived together. I went to my room and sat at my desk. I grabbed a framed picture of my father. I held to my chest and cried. He was gone forever and I was fatherless. I envied the fact that Jason had a father but he wasn't active in his life. My mother didn't want him near her or her children. She told him that when he turned eighteen and wanted to talk to him he could. I looked at the picture one last time before placing it back on the desk. A knock came on my door. I asked who it was and it was my mother. I let her in and she led me to my bed and sat next to me. She apologized for my fathers death. I then proceeded to ask her about him. She told me he was a air force first lieutenant in charge of the investigation division. He died overseas while on assignment. The money he left my mother she never received. She called about right after she heard he died and never received anything. She gave up after while and found other things to support us. That's why I hated how Jason always complained her not being there. She placed her arm around my shoulder and told me that everything was going to be okay."

"I was never one to question my mothers optimism or integrity. After we hugged she left my room and I began singing the songs I wrote at recess. I didn't know how to make beats but I could write the hell out of songs. At four o'clock I helped my mother prepare dinner. Jason was outside on the porch talking with his friends about girls. I think he matured faster than most girls because he was making out with a different girl every week. We made sweet cornbread southern fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, greens, black eyed peas and peach cobbler. When we finished everything and gave each other we high five and set the table. Jason came in and sat down. Mother told him to wash his hands before sitting down. Jason got up and walked to the bathroom and washed his hands. He returned a few moments later and sat down. He asked what we were eating. I told him that our dinner menu and he asked if I helped prepare and I told him yes."

"His face turned almost pale as a fishes belly. My mother slammed her face down on the table and Jason quieted down and began eating. After dinner mother and I washed dishes. Afterwards we took out the trash and mother went to her bedroom. I went and took a shower. After that I did my homework. I had math and science homework. I spent an hour and thirty minutes on it. When I finished I put in my backpack and got into bed. At around one in the morning I awoke to my mothers screams. I turned on my lamp and ran to her room. She was tossing and turning. I awoke her and wrapped my arms around her. After she calmed down I made her a cup of tea and sent her back to bed." When I awoke at my regular time I made my bed and took a shower. When I came out I headed to the kitchen and greeted my mother. She smiled and greeted me and I turned on the water and put my coffee contents into my favorite mug."

"When the teapot sounded I turned off the burner and poured the water into my mug and stirred the contents. I placed the pot on a cool burner and walked over to the table and sat across from my mother. I asked if she slept well after I made her a cup of tea. She said she a little bit and took a sip of her coffee. Jason came into the kitchen and sat down. He greeted mother and grabbed himself a bagel and spread some cream cheese over it. I greeted him and asked him how he slept. He just looked at me and took a bite of his bagel. I just rolled my eyes and drank my I finished mother walked back into her bedroom. I washed my mug and walked to the livingroom to await the bus. Jason came in and sat in the recliner. I looked out the window in thought. Mother came into the livingroom and looked at us and smiled. I smiled back and Jason just wore his usual jerky expression. The bus arrived at their house. I hugged her and headed out the door. The day was pretty okay for me. None of the kids messed with me and vice versa. As usual I didn't speak to them and they thought I was wrong for it. Around October money became tight again because my mothers hours became short. I found work as a paper boy. Jason didn't care as long as he had a place to stay."

"He crashed at his friends house. In November Jason's father appeared. My mother had us go through the back window. He had set our house on fire. I wanted to murder him because my mother worked hard to get the house. After he left we came around to the front of the house and got into the car. Mother started the engine and we hit the road. We had nothing but the clothes on our backs. We traveled on the road for the next few days. We traveled through several states such as Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota. When we got to South Dakota mother cut through Nebraska. Several days later I awoke and saw the California welcome sign. I was so excited couldn't believe what was happening. I mean I always imagined what it would be like but I never thought we'd move here. We entered the northern region and settled in Kingsley."

"We stayed in a hotel. When I stepped out of the car I felt that the weather was different. It was warm and friendly. I never stayed in a hotel before but it was almost like an apartment. The next day mother went out and looked for a house. Thankfully her job transferred her here and by the end of the day we had a house. We may have had a house but we had to start over. We had no clothes or food. Mother took us shopping that weekend and we got some clothes. That Monday she registered us for school and we started on Tuesday. Being the new kid wasn't new to me because I was an outsider back home in New York. Mrs. Gromlin introduced me to the class and I introduced myself. I walked to the fourth row and sat down. There was a boy on my right. He had a dark aura to him. On my left there was a girl who looked nerdy."

"Ms. Gromlin started the day by having a mathematics warm up. I soon found out that California stayed cool because the weather was the same year round. Back home in New York you always needed two layers of clothes, so this was foreign to me. When we went out for recess I sat by myself. I pulled out my notebook and started writing a song. I was so deep into my element I started bobbing my head. Ms. Gromlin must've saw because the next thing I knew she was sitting next to me. She asked me what I was writing and I told her a song. She said really and I said yes. She asked me to sing it to her. I was shy and blushed at the pressure cooker she placed me in. I cleared my throat and began singing. I was a little pitchy but I that was because I was nervous. When I stopped she applauded me and told me there were school wide talent shows held for every season excluding summer. I wasn't sure I wanted to do that seeing how I just got there and everything but took mental note of it."

"We sat and talked for the rest of recess. I learned that she was from Pennsylvania and moved to California in 1953 when she was sixteen and resided there since. I told her that I missed New York but I immediately grew to like Californian weather. She agreed with me and said that she liked it because Pennsylvania was too cold for her. When it was time to line up I walked with Ms. Gromlin over to my classmates and we lined up. We walked in single file line back inside the building and headed to the classroom. I felt I had found a confidante in Ms. Gromlin which is why I sung in front of her. I went to lunch and sat by alone. We were assigned to sit with our class but the school wasn't strict about the class eating together as you were in the cafeteria. I looked around and saw everyone mingling and laughing amongst their friends. I yearned for friendship but I knew I couldn't have it because of me being biracial. When lunch ended I threw my trash away and lined up. The rest of the day went by without a hitch and I walked home. I was greeted by my mother when I came through the door. I spoke and wave as I shut the door."

She asked me how my day was and I told her it was good. I told her that I sung for Ms. Gromlin. My mother covered her mouth because she and Jason were the only ones that knew I could sing. I wasn't shy but I was when it came to people I just met. I didn't want word to get around school that I could because I knew they would try to utilize me for everything. I walked to my bedroom and put my backpack in my desk chair and laid down on my bed. I looked up at the ceiling fan with my hands behind my head. I sat there for about ten minutes and decided to start on my homework. At four o'clock I finished my homework and walked into the kitchen where I saw my mother standing at the stove. I asked her if she needed help and sher politely said no. I walked over to the stove to see what she was cooking and smiled. She asked if I had seen Jason and I said since school was dismissed. She sighed and shook her head. I walked into the den and sat down on the love seat. I saw Cass Mareen's 1959 television special. She had a vibrant personality and it showed when she performed with others and by herself."

"It had been three years since her death and the world was trying to recover from the loss. She was a drag queen movie star and singer-songwriter. She was a very successful businesswoman and had a large following with women and the underground burgeoning gay community. When I saw her out of drag I couldn't believe my eyes. She said she did drag even outside of work, because that's how she felt comfortable. My mother owned all of her records and even still has the newspaper that had her death announcement. My mother grew up listening to her and she always said that Cass Mareen was her tunnel light as a teenager. I saw why because there was this insistent optimism about her that resonated onscreen and on records. As I was watching her Jason came in and switched the station. I told him that I was watching television and he said that no one wanted to watch that faggot. My mother told him to watch his mouth."

"Jason ignored and continued watching television. I walked to my bedroom and turned on my television. I put it back on Cass Mareen's television special. I sang along as Cass Mareen danced. At five o'clock I washed my hands and went into the diningroom and sat down at the table. My mother had prepared catfish, crouton salad, baked shoe string french fries and pink lemonade. It looked simple but tasted exquisite. I asked mother how her first day of work at her new location and she said it was fun. I guess California is in complete contrast from New York in every way. She said that she made a little more than she did while in New York. Now that was shocking to me because New York is an expensive place to live but I guess every location and state's economy was different. Jason looked in between mother and I. I didn't know what was on his mind because he finished dinner in a heartbeat and went to his room. My mother was a worry wart and after dinner she went to Jason's room to check on him. He said he was fine and my mom said okay and didn't pressure him to talk. She came back into the diningroom and helped me gather the dishes in the kitchen and we washed them together. She asked me if I made any friends. I told her that I hadn't she looked at me sadly and ruffled my hair. She told me that making friends isn't easy whether your a child or an adult and that the only thing I could do was try. After we finished cleaning the kitchen we both retired to our bedrooms. I took a shower and went to bed. I dreamed about being onstage by myself wowing the crowd and them demanding an encore."

"I awoke the next morning with a new resolve. I was going to make some new friends. I didn't know who but I was going to try. When I got to school I walked to several tables and each of them did the same thing. They turned away or looked at me strangely. The day went as usual and before I knew it school was over. I decided to walk home instead of catching of the bus. As I came closer to the end of the street I saw a crowd and walked over to it. When I squeezed through the crowd I saw a girl standing there. She was snapping her fingers and singing. She looked so groovy with her gray muumuu and black go go boots. Her hair was a bright copper red with blond tips. She was moving her feet freely and swaying to the breeze with her chin up. She was singing a song she had wrote. I thought to myself '_**This girl has some serious pipes'**_. She looked at me and smiled as she continued singing. I smiled back and continued to watch her. When she finished took a bow and everyone applauded her."

"As I was walking away she called out to me. I didn't want to talk anyone I didn't know so I continued walking until I made it home. My mother asked me how my day went and I said it was great. She asked me if I made any friends and I said no. But I did mention that I saw a girl on the corner singing and dancing. She asked if I spoke to her. I said I don't talk to strangers and I came straight home. She laughed and said everyone that becomes friends starts off as strangers. She told me that I couldn't allow my mixedness to stop me from connecting with others. I told her I'm just afraid of being alone because of it. She hugged me comfortingly and kissed my forehead and told me that things would work itself out. I went to my room and did my homework . I helped out with dinner and washed my hands and my mother and I ate dinner. When I finished I told mother I was going to wash dishes and she told me no. It sounded very firm with a kind tinge."

" She said she wanted to have a long talk with Jason. So I kissed her goodnight and headed to the bathroom for a I came out I heard mother and Jason arguing. How come he couldn't just keep his mouth closed and take the lecture. I walked into my room and shut the door. I got into bed and fell fast asleep. The next morning I awoke and headed to school. When I arrived I saw the girl from yesterday. She walked over to me. I didn't want to be rude so I didn't walk away. She shook my hand told me her name was Kimberly Bradshaw. I shook her hand and said my name was Alvin Goldsteen. We started walking together to the cafeteria. We talked about our favorite bands. I found out she was a die hard fan of Cass Mareen and Ginger Paxton. I didn't like Ginger Paxton because I felt she was overrated. But I loved Cass Mareen to the ends of the earth. Kimberly argued that Ginger got just enough media attention and that Cass Mareen was underrated. We spent the rest of breakfast harmonizing until it was time for class. When we got there a guy dressed in dark attire was sitting to the right of my desk. Then there was a quiet girl that sat behind me. I had found a lifelong friend in Kimberly and I was sure she felt the same. She was a hippie from Rhode Island and was outspoken as as she could be."

"When recess came Kimberly and I walked over to my usual spot and we started conversing. She asked if I was new to the neighborhood and I told her I was new to the state. She asked where I was from and I said New York. She was shocked and gave me high five because we were both from the east coast. She had these earrings that had the letters R and I inside them. Her face was round and plump and had lips to match. She wore a light orange tented muumuu with a pair of flat bright red go go boots. Her look definitely defied the early sixties.I asked her where her defiant look came from and she said she was just naturally like that. She said that her mother was a rockabilly in her teens during the early fifties. We spoke for the entire duration of recess. We then exchanged lyrics with each other. She read them and asked me why I wrote songs about struggle. I told her that I come from a struggling family but we've managed to make it despite what tried to break us down."

"She smiled and said that was very empowering and it could speak to people. I read her lyrics and saw they were the complete opposite of mine. Hers shouted optimism and free love. I looked at her and asked if she felt okay. She asked why and I said because she was writing about free love and optimism which was unheard of and prohibited at the time in early 1960 conservative America. She said she didn't care what the country or world thought about her music because they needed to hear it. We spent the rest of the talking about music. Before recess ended Kimberly hugged me and said that I was the first friend she made. I was shocked because she seemed so lovable that you couldn't hate her. She said that people didn't talk to her because she was outspoken and heavy. I thought that the social suicide of the fifties were over. But I had to remember that the early sixties were conservative. We lined up and headed back inside. We did spelling, science and history for the rest of the day."

"When school was dismissed Kimberly and I headed out the classroom. We headed to the bulletin board where we found the bus roster. I found out that mu mother removed me from the bus roster. I was relieved because I could walk home with Kimberly. We walked home together. We discussed things such as what was going on in politics and television. Kennedy had won the election two years ago and America felt at ease. Kimberly felt that America was starting to somewhat shift but not quite. She said that president Kennedy was opening some people's minds from the older generation. I told her that even though some people's eyes were opened others were still stuck in their ways and couldn't be changed. Kimberly said that someday she would change how things worked here in America. She said that celebrities were in a position of influence and power. With that power you could influence people to do the right thing."

"I agreed with her. We soon came to her block and we hugged each other. I told her I'd see her tomorrow and vice versa. She headed down the sidewalk and I crossed the street. When I got home I rushed to the kitchen to tell mom of the new friend I made. It was only one and that had been good enough for me. She was excited to see that old glimmer in my eyes again. She asked what their name was and I told her it was the girl I had saw on the corner the previous day. She said that was wonderful and that she sounded like a good kid. I agreed and went to my bedroom and did my homework. That night at dinner the phone rang mother went to answer it. She screamed when she heard who was on the other end. It was one of her friends back when she was a teenager in New York. I was glad to see her happy and not stressed. I had made a new friend and she reconnected with an old one."


	2. Peach Bauer

Chapter 2

**Peach Bauer**

"I'd made a new friend. I had been living in Kingsley for a year already. No one in town talked to me because I was heavy and outspoken. But to me I felt that I rather be disliked for being myself than liked for being fraudulent. I went home and told my mother that I had made a new friend. She was excited and told me that it would happen eventually. I was never one for being dramatic over not having friends. I had one simple philosophy "_**I was born alone and I'm going to die alone.**_" People tried to give me hell for thinking that way but its true. Let give a little history. I was born on April 24, 1954 in Harley Beach, Rhode Island. My mother Carol Bradshaw was a single parent working odd jobs during the day and singing in nightclubs at night to support us. My father was a sleazy bastard who left my mother for his mistress in Baltimore, Maryland. They had been married for a year before I was born. She was saddened over this because she thought she had married a good man."

"I was deeply affected by it when my mother told me what he done. I was born with a predisposed genetic disorder which made me susceptible to significant weight gain. I weighed one hundred and eighty-three pounds when I was seven years old. I found therapy in songwriting and singing. I would get up every morning at seven and dress in my favorite muumuu's and go go boots and stand on the corner and sing. I attracted crowds every blue moon. I didn't care about crowds I just wanted to release the anger I felt internally. I also felt free while doing it. After living in Rhode Island for seven years my mother and I relocated to Kingsley, California on New Years in 1963. We found a two bedroom house in the Amory Vineyard neighborhood. My mother worked as a registered nurse to provide for us. Being an only child I didn't do much except clean the house. As far as school was concerned I was average. I excelled in science and english."

"I participated in extracurricular activities such as school concerts and local talent shows. I was never given lead. I always sang with the lowered ranged female singers. My mother was furious because the choir teacher was aware of my higher ranged voice. Other than school concerts and talent shows I usually was out at the dock alone gazing at the Pacific Ocean. I thought it was the perfect haven for a long and mind wrecking day. I never saw my mother bring home a man after my father left her. She believed since they weren't married he had no right to come to her house and meet me. I thought it made perfect sense. When I started attending school at Kingsley Elementary in late January of 1963 I was a social outcast. I knew the reason why but it didn't bother me. I wasn't going to apologize for being who I was, but I did want friends to call my own. In class I sat on the left side of the classroom. Alvin Goldsteen sat on my right."

"I never really clashed with other students except for girls who harassed me. There was this one girl in particular who's identity I will keep anonymous. She had put glue in my hair. I rinsed it out successfully but I wanted revenge. So at recess I went and confronted her. After she pushed that's when I beat her up. Now the good thing was I got revenge, the down side was that I got suspended and she didn't. The principal claimed I should've told the teacher. But of course if I would've told the teacher the girl would've denied my claim and would try to make my life a living hell. I got more satisfaction out of beating the girl up then getting suspended. My mother applauded me for defending myself and putting the girl in her place. That afternoon during my walk home I stopped at the corner my house and started singing. A crowd started accumulating around me. I saw Alvin Goldsteen in the front of crowd. After I finished I tried to talk to him but he took off. I called out to him but he ignored me. The next day I approached him and we formally introduced ourselves. We walked to the cafeteria together and sat together. We talked about random things. I found out he was a fan of Cass Mareen like me. We disagreed on Ginger Paxton. He didn't like her because he thought she was overrated. At recess we exchanged our lyrics with each other."

"His lyrics encompassed struggle and idiocy. Mine talked about free love and optimism. Now the early sixties were a time of conservatism but I wasn't a conformer. My hair was bright copper red with platinum blond on the ends. I had on a bright orange muumuu and bright red go go boots. When I found Alvin was from New York I gave him a high five because we were both from the east coast. Before recess ended I gave him a hug and we went to line up with our classmates. When we got back inside we did spelling, science and history. When school dismissed we walked home together. When we reached my street I hugged him again and we parted ways. I walked down the sidewalk that led to my house while he crossed the street. When I got home I told my mother about the new friend I made. She was excited for me because I met someone who didn't care about what I looked like. She said in the fifties being overweight was social suicide. She thought that stigma had died off but some people were still stuck in their ways."

"I went to my room and started writing more songs. I wasn't a professional or anything but my mother believed I had some phenomenal lyrics. She said she could feel the passion jump from the paper. Even though my father wasn't in my life I often found myself immersed in deep thought about him. Being fatherless wasn't the best feeling in the world for me. I felt that not having a father was a low blow to my self-esteem. My mother was there to teach me how to be a woman but I needed a father too. I needed a father to remind me that I was beautiful and more than a five dollar fix. But I didn't and I couldn't walk with a chip on my shoulder because of it. I had to take it in stride and make the best of it. I wrote a song called Being Fatherless Has Molded Me. It basically talked about even though I was fatherless I could still become a mature and beautiful young woman. I spent fifteen minutes writing it."

"I went to the livingroom and sang it to my mother. She cried when I finished. She didn't grow up fatherless like me but she must've thought about grandfather. He died a year before I was born. He sounded like a really groovy guy. My grandmother was still alive when he died. She lives at the Cashmere Hills family mansion in Ella Mona, Maryland. My aunts and uncles were selfish except for two and that really said something to me. Your mother dedicated her entire adult life to take care of you and you give her the cold shoulder when your father dies? I could only imagine how grandfather felt. I was going to see her in June. Even though I'm a Rhode Island native Maryland was like a second home to me. My grandmother always regaled on old times and told me how my mother and her siblings were growing up. It sounded fun but her sisters and her second youngest br brother sounded like assholes. They made it hard for my mother to enjoy her adolescence. My uncle Albert and aunt La'Donna were the sweetest ones."

"There were two teams. Aunt Ellen, Holly, Karen and uncle Ricky against my mother, aunt La'Donna and uncle Albert. They couldn't beat my mother in fighting but they still instigated things in and outside of the home. They despised me because I looked just like their father. I saw them only at family reunions. I always respected them for my mother but I told them not to take their resentment out on me. hey laughed in my face and walked off. I was fuming but decided against kicking their asses and went and sat with my mother. In 1959 when I was five we stopped going to the reunion because it was nothing but fighting and bickering. Aunt La'Donna was the one who wanted to keep grandpa Hogan's memory alive. But my aunts and uncle killed the revival with their unending hatred for him and my mother."

"The next day at school I spoke with Alvin. He said that his older brother Jason treated him horrible both at school and at home because he was mixed. He sounded like a real asshole and I refused to meet him. He told me one of the worse things Jason ever did was that helped his friends jump Alvin. After that they drug him into the street and he almost got ran over by a car. He awoke in time and managed to avoid getting struck down. He was only six. What the hell was wrong with him?. When lunch came I saw Jason for the first time. I sent him a dirty look and he glanced at Alvin. I knew the looks they were exchanging. He walked over to us and tried to roughen him up. I stepped in and told him to back away from Alvin. He chuckled and asked me who was I. I fiercely told him I was Alvin's friend and that I wouldn't let him abuse him in front of me. He laughed and said outside of school I couldn't protect him. I told him I would find a way to. He thought because I was girl I wouldn't stand up to him. He had me fucked up with some other broad."

"He walked off and cursed under his breath. I looked back at Alvin who was in a corner shaking. I walked over to him and extended my hand. He took and thanked me for sticking up for him. I told him he was welcome and not to worry about Jason. We walked to our usual spot and began talking. He asked me how my home life was and I told him it was fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. We practiced our singing. We weren't a duo or anything but we liked the way our voices sounded in harmony. He was a tenor and I was a soprano. We both handled the upper extremes with ease. After recess we headed back inside and did spelling, math and history. The bell rang which dismissed us to go home. As we were walking down the hall a boy bumped into me. When I saw his face I knew instantly that it was Danny Velvetoro. He looked like he was pissed at the entire world for whatever was going on in his life. I told him he bumped into me and didn't apologize. He looked the other way and walked off."

"I looked at Alvin and back at Danny who was walking down the hallway with his hands in his pockets. I swiftly walked after Danny. Alvin had quickly caught up with me. When I reached him I tapped him on his shoulder. He turned around and said **"WHAT!" **with an abrasive attitude. I reminded him that he bumped into me and didn't apologize. He said sorry, but it wasn't sincere and walked off. I couldn't believe the audacity of that guy. He bumped into me and had even bigger nerve to insincerely apologize. I brushed off and let because I wasn't one for making enemies over something petty. Alvin and I walked home together. When we reached my street we hugged and parted ways as usual. When I got home I saw my mothers car parked in the driveway. When I entered the house I placed my key on the table and yelled out to my mother who came into the livingroom. She asked me how my day went. I told her it was okay up until Danny bumping into me and not apologizing properly."

"She chuckled and said some men are just pricks and need a friend to set them straight before it was too late. I didn't know how prophetic her words would be until later. I went upstairs and did my homework. My mother came upstairs and told me that dinner was ready and that she was going to be working a night shift. I told her okay and resumed doing my homework. We had to do a science worksheet. It dealt with precipitation and the rain cycle. I finished in fort-five minutes when my telephone rang. I leaned over and picked it up. It was Alvin. He sounded like his usual self. He said he wanted to hang out with me that. I told him I would since I wasn't doing anything. We talked on the phone for an hour and hung up. I wanted to wind down and relax for a while. At around five o'clock I began writing some more songs. I wrote three called The Dove, Hurricane and Rebel. They each corresponded to the three most important people in my life my grandmother, my grandfather despite not knowing him and my mother."

"I thought I couldn't write about someone I never knew but I spoke to my grandfather through dreams. After I finished writing I went downstairs and had dinner. Afterward I cleaned the kitchen and took out the trash. I took a shower around seven and was bed by eight The following morning I awoke made my bed, took a shower and dressed. I came downstairs and sat at the table. My mother wasn't home yet so I made due. I poured myself a glass of pulp free orange juice and made two slices of toast with strawberry jam. When I finished I grabbed my backpack and left. I met up with Alvin at the corner. We hugged one another and began our trek to school. We talked about our upcoming plans for the weekend. Alvin wanted to see the dock where I visited and all the attractions. As we entered the school I came face to face with Danny. We exchanged looks. I smiled at him and he glared at me. I walked passed him and Alvin and I walked to the cafeteria. When we arrived we saw Deena Tansworth sitting at a table by herself."

"She was reading a book and we decided to leave her alone. Instead we walked to our usual table and sat down. We continued our discussion from earlier. We talked for the whole thirty minutes of breakfast and walked to class when the bell sounded. When we entered we saw Ms. Murphy ting at her desk eating a green apple. She said good morning to us and vice versa. Alvin and I took our seats and took our needed supplies. As the classroom started feel up we saw Danny and Deena walked in. Danny looked tired and Deena wore a smile on her face. When we made eye contact with her she looked away. She must be shyer than we first thought. The bell sounded again signaling everyone that class was in session. We began doing our warm up sponge. During this time Ms. Gromlin collected our homework assignments. Half of the class didn't do it. I shook my head and laughed a little. Back home in Harley Beach if you didn't do your homework you got three solid licks from a large paddle across you butt. Here in California they just failed you and went on. After collecting the assignments of those who did it Ms. Murphy started lecturing the class about the importance of doing homework. The class laughed at the lecture but I took it seriously. I knew once I got to middle school it would be sink or swim and I wanted to swim."

"Ms. Murphy started explaining a project that would be due in two weeks. She grouped us according to personality. Danny, Alvin, Deena and I were paired off. I was friends with Alvin, but I didn't know what Danny would do and Deena was in her own world. She had us turn our desks to face each other. The four of us sat down in the desk looking at one another. Alvin was across from me, Deena was next to me and Danny was next to Alvin. It seemed like an unlikely partnership between us and I started dreading immediately because Danny could be so heartless and cold towards Ms. Murphy placed the project instructions on the table Deena picked it up and read amongst us. The assignment was to choose from several topics dealing with science. We all chose chemical science. It was complex enough for us. We asked everyone what role did they want to take on. Alvin wanted to be the person to hold the poster board, Deena chose to be the recorder, I chose to be the demonstrator and Danny was left with the role of orator."

"We planned to meet up at the library after school to get the research we needed. When we went for recess Alvin and I sat together. Alvin asked why Danny was such distant and silent fellow. I told him I didn't know and that this assignment may be the catalyst to get to know him better. When school was dismissed we all met up at the school gates and headed to the library. Deena checked out a few books with her library card. We went to a secluded area and began working on our project. I had a good sense and knowledge of Ammonic acid. So I used my prior knowledge and Deena took those key points down while I spoke. Danny just looked uninterested and it was so nerve racking because we were also being graded on how well we worked together and communicated. The things were looking Danny was going to screw us right in a fifty or a straight zero. After recording the information I told Alvin and Danny that Deena may look to guys to elaborate."

"Alvin seemed delighted. He had his cheeks in his hands grinning. Danny on the other hand had his arms folded looking at Deena and I like we were his worst enemy. Deena kindly asked Danny if he would elaborate if she asked. e said monotonously and Deena sighed and looked at me with small smile. We worked on the project until five o'clock when the library closed for the day. We all walked home together. We made it to my block first and I hugged Alvin. Danny didn't stopped and continued on. I just shook my head and hugged Deena as well. I headed down my sidewalk and they crossed the street. When I got home I walked to the kitchen and saw that dinner was prepared. I walked to my mothers room. I saw that she was asleep and walked upstairs to my room. I removed my boots and sat down my bed. I didn't have homework due to the project that was due. I laid there in thought. I wondered if Danny was going to pull it together in time for presentation day next Friday. I sure hoped so because I didn't want to fail due to garish and off putting disposition and personality. I got up and turned on the television."

"Nothing was really insightful but I kept it on anyway. I laid in bed and then got up and walked to the backyard deck and sat to take in the breeze. It felt really good. My hair blew freely and skin got to breathe too. After being out there for an hour I walked back inside and heated up dinner. We had creamy shrimp sausage pasta with garlic bread and salad. After dinner I cleaned my dishes and went back upstairs to my room for a shower. An hour later I came out turned off my television and got into bed. The next morning I dressed and left for school. I met up with Alvin and we walked to school. When I arrived Alvin walked in ahead of me. I stopped to adjust my blouse. I looked over and saw Danny getting out of a car. It looked like a tail finned car. When I saw his face he had purplish marks on his neck. When he entered the school gates I asked him what the purple marks were and he said nothing and scurried into school. I was worried about him."

"I never seen anyone with those kind of marks before. I assumed they were some of kind disease that would kill him. Nonetheless I didn't tell anyone what I saw and the teachers didn't question him either. But no one knew because he was wearing a coat that with a tall collar on it. So in turn it concealed the marks. Alvin asked if I was okay and I told him I was worried about Danny. He asked why and I told that after he walked inside I saw Danny get out of a car and head had purple marks on his neck. Alvin nodded his head and looked at Danny but didn't make it obvious. At recess Alvin and I chatted but what I told him in class. He asked me if Danny had gone to the school nurse or doctor and I said I don't know and left it at that. Danny was alone on the stairs near the playground entrance doors. He had his hands together and he looked like he was deep in thought. The suspense and curiosity was eating me up so I walked over to Danny and sat next to him. He surprised me because he didn't leave when I sat down."

"I broke the silence by asking him if he was okay. He didn't respond and instead looked into the distance. I patted my kneecaps and looked into the distance as well. Alvin walked over toward us with his hands in his pockets. Danny acknowledged him for a second and resumed looking in the distance. I told Danny I would see him later and Alvin and I left him alone. As we were walking away Alvin asked me if we talked and I told him no. Alvin looked back at Danny and looked concerned. I told Alvin I didn't want to corner Danny and that I would wait until Danny was ready to talk. When recess ended we headed back inside and did our usual spelling, science and history. When school dismissed the four of us walked to the library. We walked to the library in silence. None of us knew what to say to each other. When we arrived Deena checked our books and we walked to our usual table. Deena took out her notes and she began gathering more information."

"Alvin could draw so he began drawing in a gothic style on the poster board what each step was in detail. We stayed at the library for two hours and left at five. The only ones who spoke were Alvin, Deena and myself. As I said before I wasn't going force Danny into talking. We all took a shortcut and came out on Alvin's corner. I hugged him and he walked down the sidewalk. Danny didn't walk head like he had done yesterday. Deena said that now that we were practically done with project all we had to do was buy beakers and bordering paper. Danny and Alvin would take care of that. The three of us walked to Deena's block next. She hugged me and blushed slightly when she looked at Danny. She bid him farewell and walked down the sidewalk leading to her house. Danny and I were alone now. We walked in silence. I asked him if he had any plans for the weekend and he looked at me intrigued. He said no but didn't wan to hang out with anyone he didn't know. I didn't blame him but I told him that he couldn't get to know someone by being closed off. He didn't say anything and I just sighed. I tried by inviting him to join Alvin and I so that was on him. When we reached my street I bid him goodnight and I turned down my sidewalk waving at him. Danny had crossed the street and continued walking down the bathed peach sunset. As I entered my house I saw my mother sitting on the couch looking at television."

"When she saw me she walked to it and turned it off. She asked me how my day was. I said that it was good and despite Danny not talking to me a friendship could be forming in the background. She said that was something to look forward to. I didn't mention the purple marks to her because I don't even think I was supposed to see them. I placed my key in the bowl and headed upstairs. At six I took a shower and I came downstairs for dinner." Mother looked exhausted but she kept her smile on nonetheless. I asked how work was and she said it was okay and that her patient was making progress with his oral feeding. We talked about random things for the next thirty minutes and cleaned the kitchen afterward. I headed upstairs and went to bed. That Friday I met Alvin at his street and we walked to the dock. When we got there we saw Deena sitting there gazing out at the sea. We motioned toward her and sat down. She was startled and was about to leave but we told her we wanted her to stay."

"She thought about it for a minute and sat back down. We initiated conversation with her by asking where she was from. She said she was from Tress, Arizona. I visited Arizona before and thought it was beautiful just said that she felt alone at home and that the dock was her only safe haven outside of school. Although our situations were different we were interconnected by them as well. Alvin was biracial, I was overweight, Deena was nerdy and neglected and Danny was mystery. Alvin had voiced what I had been thinking and both Deena and I looked at him. He smiled at both of us . He then asked Deena if she had any other therapeutic releases and she said that she writes songs. I asked if she had any of them with her and she said she had one. She was very shy and was reluctant to let me read her lyrics. Eventually she handed the paper to me. The name of the song was called On The Outside Looking In. It was talking about how Deena observed how other parents interacted with their children. Those were some damn sad but moving lyrics on that paper."

"I complimented her and said that it touched me because I didn't have a father. I know I only knew of Deena in school but I also felt like I could trust her and hopefully vice versa. Alvin proceeded to ask her if she could sing and she said that she wasn't confident enough in her voice whatsoever. Alvin asked her to sing On The Outside Looking In. We couldn't believe our ears. She had sweet tone to her. Her range was low and it had no huskiness in it at all. After she finished looked at us red as a tomato. I could tell she wasn't confident but she wasn't pitchy at all when she was singing a few moments averted her eyes away from us and said that we were the first people she ever sang in front of. We were most definitely honored and said she had some serious pipes. She asked us if we could sing we said we could. Alvin sang a Rocky Leone and I sang a Ginger Paxton song. When we both finished Deena had tears flowing down her face. Alvin asked her what was wrong she said that she couldn't compete with us. Alvin said it wasn't about competing it was about having fun. He said there weren't too many alto's in pop music and her voice wasn't an average alto. She could sing higher than most of them. Despite hearing this Deena still was depressed."

"I wasn't sure that anything we told her would cheer her up so I told her her voice was fine the way it was. Alvin said she could push a little higher because he felt she was playing it safe. We sat at the dock for another thirty minutes before we walked down to Jade Monopoly's a jumping teen club but us kids found a way inside. We were real good friends with Cashton Brewster who helped clean place, He was the same age as we were but he wanted some type of exposure to the workplace. I guess you had to start somewhere same thing with trying to break into the music industry. We ordered soda pop and we each paid a nickel. After the bartender Cody gave us our drinks we looked at the portraits of the previous owners of Jade Monopoly. This place had been around since 1920 and had four proud owners. Jade Monopoly started off as a underground getaway for different demographics such as the thriving gay community and mixed races. Around the forties things started to change and it became a hangout for teenagers and its been that way since."

"We turned around on our stools where we saw a stage out in the dining area. Cody asked if any of us wanted to perform and I said I did. I ran over to the dining area and got onstage. I handed the piano player my sheet music. As he began to play it had a bluesy sound mixed with folk. I cleared my throat and began singing. I saw people in the audience's jaws drop. They must've never a saw a girl possess such power in their voice. I was only eight years old. My mother taught me how to control my voice with breathing exercises. As I sang I took the microphone off the stand and walked offstage and into the audience. I moved my feet swiftly as I walked around couple's tables. When I returned to the stage I held a note. I then came to an interval. A few seconds later I started singing again."

"The audience started applauding as I spun around the stage while doing my Peach Shuffle dance. I relished in the feeling. I really felt loved and admired. I placed the microphone on the stand and took a bow. I took another one and walked offstage. Alvin congratulated me for my boldness and singing. I told him thank you and that I was a natural risk taker. He laughed and we left Jade Monopoly and I showed Alvin a few of the other hot spots of Kingsley. He was thrilled and we headed home at around five. That weekend Alvin and I had went to the mall and hung out. We didn't buy anything but we did window shop for things we wish we could get. He ate a large hamburger with fries and a shake. I laughed at him and he made a pouty face. When we got home we told our mothers about wonderful day. The following Friday we presented our project to the class. Danny elaborated, Alvin held the poster board with a smile and I done the demonstrating. We received a ninety-four. I was satisfied because it wasn't a D or F. Afterward I sat down in my desk and awaited recess."


	3. Nerdy Nervosa

Chapter 3

**Nerdy Nervosa**

"Alvin and Kimberly wanted to be my friend, and I didn't want to pass up an opportunity like that. We hung out at the dock and Jade Monopoly for the next few months. In the summer I was left alone with my unloving parents. Lets backtrack a little bit. I was born in Tress, Arizona on March 25, 1955. I was an only child so I was the victim of my parents verbal abuse. I never knew if it was from stress or simply their amusement. Either way I had nothing to do with what happened at their jobs yet they treated me like I did. I always yearned for their affection and never received it. The only attention I ever I got was from my maternal aunt Victoria. My mother hated when she paid an ounce of attention to me. My aunt Victoria always told her if she didn't like the attention she was giving me she shouldn't have had children. My mother was one of those women who hated hearing the truth. So to avoid me and the truth she locked herself in her bedroom. My father wasn't any better than her. He treated me just as bad as her."

"They both were lawyers and owned their own law firm. They always went out to dinner and other functions without me. I always stayed home in my bedroom crying wondering if I was a mistake God made. This had gone for as long as I could remember. My school life was where I felt the most calmest. I felt somewhat recognized and appreciated. I was in the science and mathematics clubs. I was never into theatre or choir. The first chance I got to go somewhere I took it. My parents were so negligent they didn't even care if I had came home or not. I'll grant them this they never physically abused me but the verbal and emotional hurt just as bad. They made me feel like a lost cause. My mother once told me that "_**it would take a miracle to love someone like me**_." Hearing that from had depressed me for a week. Coming from Arizona wasn't anything special. I loved it there don't get me wrong but I didn't feel it loved me the way I loved it. I was shy but I had a humongous imagination."

"My parents thought I was delusional and told me I would '_**waste my life away and solitude'**_. It wouldn't be until I met Danny Velvetoro, Alvin Goldsteen and Kimberly Bradshaw that I would start living for myself. We lived in Tress from the time I was born until 1963 when I was eight years old. I remember when we were crossing the California state was like coming into a new world. Despite not having any friends I still felt like a part of me was being ripped away out of my body. When I got to Kingsley, California we settled in our new house. I had prepared dinner for us. When I fixed my parents plates they laughed at me and threw the food away right in my face. I ran to my room and cried the rest of the night away. When they registered me for school no one talked to me because I was four foot three inches. No one wanted anything to do with me because I spoke intelligently and was a bookworm and science geek. I couldn't help that I loved school and learning. Our teacher told us we all were special and to not anyone tell us differently."

"I believed that with all my heart and soul. The only therapy I had other than school was writing songs. My songs really talked about my inner feelings and how my parents made me feel. Its not like they cared if I expressed how they made feel. I tried my hardest not to let my emotions get the better of me but I was a child nonetheless. At recess I would sit under a tree and write songs. I would also sing to myself. I never really knew I could sing until I got to Kingsley Elementary. The kids would throw water balloons at me on field day and I wouldn't do anything but ignore them. One day I became fed up with them and I chased one of the boys down that was harassing me and beat him up. I was suspended for self defense and for not informing a teacher. They would've been on the boys side anyway because he'd been there longer than I. During my suspension I sat in my room writing songs. In the meantime I cleaned the house and washed my parents cars. When they got home from work my father slapped me for the first. My mother witnessed this and didn't intervene. She believed he was justified in his actions because no one told me to wash their cars."

"The fact was his car was moments away from rusting and I cleaned it before it got too bad. My mother was the only one who kept her car maintenance updated. They never thanked me for anything that I had done for them. I just threw my hands up and said okay. But in the meantime I still tried to find their approval through academics. That was a bust because they believed the grades I made wouldn't have gotten me into Harvard. When college day came I told Ms. Murphy I planned on attending Northeast Region University and major in nursing. But little did I know life had a different course for me to take. How I met Alvin and the others were through a science group project. I was the recorder, Kimberly was demonstrator, Danny was the orator and Alvin held the poster board. We met everyday for two weeks afterschool at Kingsley Library. Kimberly, Alvin and I conversed with each other while Danny just sat there with his arms folded. I tried to get him to speak but no stayed there for two hours arriving at three and leaving at five. I didn't interact with them outside of the school project because I thought they would make fun of me for my academic love craze."

"When I got home I made me a sandwich and spaghetti. After that I headed upstairs to my room and sat on my bed. I never really got to see my aunt Victoria like that because she and my mother always clashed and it made me angry. My mother was the one who had me so she should've step up to the plate and did her motherly duties. My relationship with my parents were nonexistent and the house was completely quiet. They were hardly ever there and I was left to raise myself. People think that a child raising themself is wrong but they will never understand the plight and why some children had to raise themselves. I remember I was sitting at the dock alone gazing at the sea when Kimberly and Alvin came to join me. I was apprehensive and got up to leave. They told me they wanted me to stay and I was reluctant but did. I sat back down and they started asking me basic questions. I told them I was from Tress, Arizona and that music was my therapeutic outlet. I let Kimberly read one of my songs called On The Outside Looking In."

"She felt that they were empowering and moving. I never thought that anyone found my songs to be interesting, especially the way I was treated back home. Alvin asked if I could sing and I told him I could. I sang On The Outside Looking In and they were astonished. I wasn't a soprano whatsoever. I was a contralto. I had a natural husky timbre. But I also possessed passionate and bold vocals in my upper register. That was the first time I ever sang in front of anyone. After that we walked to Jade Monopoly where Kimberly blew the roof off the place with her fun soprano voice. I would've probably fainted being in front of a crowd. Maybe it was because all eyes were on you and they expected perfection. That's what they pay to see. I ordered some iced tea. We stayed there for another thirty minutes and headed home. The following week we presented our group project. Danny pulled through and we received a ninety-four. One day in March while my parents were away for the weekend my aunt Victoria came to the house to spend time with me. If my mother would've found out she was there I probably would've been beaten to death. But aunt Victoria was worth because she treated me like a woman was supposed to treat a child. We did arts and crafts, cooked and went to the movies."

"By the time she went back to Arizona I was pampered with clothes and trinkets. She gave me a glass box that I kept in my bathroom out of my parents sight. If they didn't ask I wasn't going to tell. I went to bed with aunt Victoria on my next day at school at recess Kimberly and I were in the bathroom. When we came out of the bathroom we heard something shocking. Danny was singing. We slowly joined him. Alvin walked toward him and was singing. Danny's face turned a tomato red and got to his feet but he didn't leave. We continued to sing and when we finished we all looked at each other. The three of us were aware of each others singing talent but Danny's talent was foreign to us. We came closer and looked at Danny. He said that he had to go and walked off. Kimberly and Alvin smiled and felt that we had made a internal connection through our harmony. Alvin and Kimberly handled the high notes while Danny and I handled the mid to lower ones."

"Our harmonies weren't perfect but with sone work it'd be perfect. At the end of school we went to find Danny. We found him leaning up against the school gates with his arms folded. We walked up to him and asked if he wanted to hang with us. He said that since he got singing by us he would hang out with us on being honest and open with each other. Now he wasn't going to just open up right of the bat. We had to know each other long enough for that to happen which was only fair. While we walked to Kimberly's house we came up with a name and we settled on The Lone Wolves. Kimberly came up with the name. She said it fit since we were social outcasts. When we arrived at Kimberly's house we saw Alvin's mother and learned that Kimberly's mother was the famed late fifties singer Carol Bradshaw. Kimberly was also the granddaughter of Hogan Harris the founder of the Max Land theme park. Alvin mother Ingrid and Carol go back to their late teens. We just hung around her house until five when Alvin, Danny and I went home."

"The weekend was pretty interesting. We went to Danny's house for the first time. We found out he lived alone. We didn't know where his parents were and didn't ask him about them. He sure kept it clean and immaculate. We went to his backyard and stood near the pool and practiced our harmonies. I sang on background vocals with Danny. Despite being only eight years old Danny had a talent for vocal arrangement. He put Alvin and Kimberly out on front since their voices were more powerful than ours. I wasn't upset at the time because I believed in Danny's musical talent. Kimberly and Alvin were different in their performance. Kimberly used her feet while Alvin utilized his upper body. I wasn't a dancer so all I could do was pat my thigh and tap my foot. Danny just stood there plucking the strings of his acoustic guitar. We sang songs in the folk and blues genres. This was way before the hippiedom overload of 1965. We sang songs that we were feeling on the inside. We were just little kids so we were to young to know anything about the Vietnam draft so we couldn't sing about it. We sang the songs that Danny and I wrote. After we sang for about a good three hours with two thirty minute breaks. Immediately after we went inside and Kimberly made us ice cold glasses of lemonade. Danny had shelves full of Cass Mareen records and memorabilia. I'm not one to judge but I thought he was into other things like rock n roll."

"Minutes later Kimberly came out with four glasses on a tray. Kimberly and Danny had always argued over our harmonies. Danny wanted us to come in the down beat while she wanted the exact opposite. They both were stubborn and temperamental. They both were leaders. Danny was destined the leader of The Lone Wolves. Kimberly submitted his leadership in her own way. Since we were just starting out as a quartet Danny was very domineering. He strongly believed he knew what was best for the group. We each brought our own gift to the group. Danny could arrange vocals, I could read music, Alvin could play instruments and Kimberly could own any song she sang. Sometimes when I heard us rehearse I thought it was just Kimberly and Alvin singing. Kimberly and Danny always clashed on who would sing lead on certain songs. In July after Kimberly returned from Maryland we began polishing up on our harmonies."

"Danny gave me a chance to sing lead for the first time. My gritty voice counterbalanced Kimberly's fun one blissfully. It was like creamer to bitter coffee. We would practice at Danny's house inside or near the pool. Sure enough Danny and I felt that the pool was the perfect place to practice. We both felt at peace there. We spent the remainder of 1963 honing our harmony. In July of 1964 we went with Kimberly to visit her maternal grandmother Valery Bradshaw in Ella Mona, Maryland. She was a sweet, kind and demure woman. When she met us for the first time she had some homemade chocolate chip cookies. I felt sympathetic towards her because she was all alone. Kimberly told her that we were a quartet and boy was she delighted. We sang On The Outside Looking In, Being Fatherless Molded Me and The Mother I Thought I Had. Kimberly and Alvin sang lead on On The Outside Looking In and Being Fatherless Molded Me. We sang The Mother I Thought I Had in four voice two voice part harmony."

"When we finished singing Valery got to her feet and gave us a standing ovation. We found out that she was a nightclub singer her younger days and said we had promising careers if we kept working. It felt good being told that and I could sense the others liked it. The next morning at five we took to the streets and sang our written songs. Danny had his guitar, Alvin had his harmonica and Kimberly I stood tall. Well Kimberly stood tall without a care in the world. I on the other hand just stood there and took direction from Danny. Kimberly did her footwork dance and I snapped my fingers. When we finished singing Social Outcast Danny and Kimberly started arguing about our harmony. Danny wanted us to sing together while Kimberly wanted us to sing in two voice four part harmony. They argued for the next twenty minutes and I was the intermediary between them. Once they were calm we began singing again. People's who walked by threw beer bottles, told us to shut up and spat on us. Spitting on people is the most degrading thing you could do to a person and Danny and Kimberly weren't going to stand for it. After Alvin managed to restrain them we started singing again. At eight that night we returned to Valery's house and washed up for dinner. I really wanted to be famous because I wanted people to acknowledge and respect me."

"Those were the two most important things to me, I tried to convey that when I sang. We returned to Kingsley in August and went to school. It was uneventful but interesting, at least for me. That December we traveled to Ella Mona. It was one of the coldest winters ever. It was forty degrees below zero. Despite this we stood on the street corner and sang our hearts out. Some people tried to persuade to find go home while others didn't care and just passed by and ignored us. My eyes were weak in the cold so it always appeared like I was crying. I still managed to pat my thigh and tap my foot. Danny played the birds out of the trees with his guitar, Alvin stood there with a smile and Kimberly did her footwork dance with pride boldness. We were out there from seven in the morning until seven at night. After we felt we'd done our justice we returned to Valery's house and sat in front of the fireplace drinking hot chocolate. I'll never forget Danny telling me that my voice was as warm as the roaring fire before us. He professed that I was the key to our harmony."

"I didn't believe I was because I always thought that a soprano and tenor were key factors to a groups harmony. Despite what Danny said I still felt superior to them. They could reach notes I would never be able to. I went to bed with that on my mind. I dreamed that I was onstage singing alone and people were throwing roses onstage. There was one white rose that adorned the pile of red roses and I knew what it meant. I woke up with tears rolling down my face. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was three in the morning. I laid back down and I tried to think of happy things but they seemed intent on not coming to mind. At breakfast I was unusually quiet. Valery asked me if I was feeling okay. I told her I was fine but she didn't believe me. She asked me once more and there was intense seriousness laced in her voice. I told her that I had a dream where I was onstage alone singing. Everyone was throwing red roses onstage. Unexpectedly a white stemmed rose was thrown onstage and I woke up."

"The table was completely silent and Valery smiled and reassured me that dreams aren't always what they appear to be. I smiled and took her wisdom to heart and resumed eating my breakfast. Since it was Christmas Valery didn't want us out there singing in the cold. Instead she had stay inside and sing Christmas carols in harmony. We had so much fun singing and eating Christmas cookies. That Saturday we returned to California and prepared for school. 1965 had been upon and things changed especially the music scene. It was all about rock n roll. Around this time my friends and I had our first psychedelic experience. For me I saw different colors all and I hallucinated. Hours later when the affects wore off I saw Alvin's brother Jason standing before us. Danny got to his feet and punched him in his face. He asked him if he injected us with anything. He threatened that if he did he would kill him. He lied and said he didn't do it. Danny kneed him in his stomach and we left. As we were walking down the sidewalk Alvin suddenly dropped to his knees. Kimberly knelt down and asked if him if he were using. He looked at her and said no."

"She believed him and so did I. Danny on the other hand spared Alvin without sympathy. He told him he had to start fighting back or else Jason would continue beating him up. Kimberly scolded him and said he needed to be more sensitive to Alvin's situation. Danny just scoffed and said whatever and kept walking. Kimberly helped Alvin to his feet and we resumed walking. We decided to go to Danny's house and start honing our harmonies. When we got there we headed to the backyard. We stood in the grass and let the wind blow freely through our hair. Danny said that we were going to sing Teeth Bite Deep. Alvin stepped forward and started to pat his thigh. Danny started playing his electric guitar. Kimberly began moving her feet and snapping her fingers. I just tapped my foot and balled my fist up. It was a wonderful time for us."


	4. Black Wolf

Chapter 4

**Black Wolf**

"They figured me out. They heard me singing and decided to make things worse by adding their voices. When we finished singing we all looked at each other in amazement. I noticed as we were singing our voices were completely in sync. I was so embarrassed that I ran off. I steered clear of them for the rest of the day. When school dismissed I walked to the gate and waited for them because I knew they would come looking for me. When they found me they asked me if I wanted to hang out. I told them since they heard me singing that I would. They swore they wouldn't tell anyone that I could sing. As we walked home we were playing around with names. Kimberly and I came up with the name The Lone Wolves. Since we were all social outcasts it was perfect. Before I continue on let me give you a detailed rundown of my childhood. My name is Danny De'Leo Velvetoro. I'm also known to the public as Black Wolf. I am twenty-five years old.

"I was the leader and one fourth of the 1960s psychedelic rock group The Lone Wolves.I was born on January 31, 1954 in Misty Woods, Michigan.I was an only child. My mother Gloria Granger was drug addict who received government assistance. She also abused me physically and emotionally without remorse. My father Gerald Velvetoro died before I was born therefore leaving me fatherless. I can remember all the way back to February of 1958. I remember a woman from child services came to our house. She looked about thirty and she seemed nice. She spoke with my mother about finding employment and she said that she had put c in several applications. The woman didn't seem convinced and asked her if she was abusing me in any way. She looked at the social worker and told her know. I couldn't believe she sat there and told that woman a bold faced lie. The woman walked over to me and looked at my face. I was so afraid and I didn't want her to touch me at all."

"She observed my bruises and had me removed from the home immediately. My mother didn't seem to care. I remember her lighting a cigarette and leaning back on the sofa as I walked out the front door. At the moment I knew I would be alone for the rest of my life. The social worker drove me to a building. When I arrived I saw other children like me who were abused but I didn't speak to them. Instead I sat in a corner alone awaiting for my time to get adopted or fostered. I stayed at the social office for a few weeks and a foster family brought me home. When I got to their house I saw that it was clean and had a lot of furniture. They told me to go into the den and I did as I was told. When I walked there I saw two children between the ages of five and seven. I just stood there and looked at them. They just looked at me and another child pushed me over to the floor. My breath quickly became short upon contact from the other child. He straddled me and we began fighting."

"After several minutes I managed to push him off of me and I ran back to the foyer and remained there until dinner time. During those hours I thought about my mother. Despite how she treated me she was still my mother and I missed her. At dinner I played with my food. I took four bites and remained silent. After dinner I was placed in the bathtub. While my foster father was bathing he would touch me and I would scream but he would knock me out and have his way with me. I was a victim to the darkness of my very own mind. The next four months had gone on like. For the rest of the year I had been placed in several foster homes until January 1959. My mother regained custody of me. I was glad to be back home but I knew that it was back to the physical and emotional abuse. She started bringing different men home every night. It was around May that I figured out no cared about what I was going through. My mothers live-in boyfriends molested me and it made me feel like scum."

"My school life wasn't any better. My teachers tried to crack me but were unsuccessful. I knew that if I spoke of my home life it was back into foster care I went, so I kept quiet. My mind would usually drifted to a far away place. I would see myself standing at a lake looking at my reflection. I saw this scared and fragile boy who was afraid to speak. Then I looked up and saw myself being chained to wooden post and beating me. I screamed and the entire class looked at me. I looked around and the teacher excused me to the back of the classroom. She asked if me I was alright and I lied and told her yes. She wasn unconvinced but didn't pressure me further. When I returned to my seat and resumed doing my work without another word. When school ended I walked home in silence. When I came into the livingroom I saw my mother and her boyfriend sitting on the couch looking at television. As I passed by them my mother threw a beer bottle at me. I spoke to my mother and she got up and walked over to me."

"She knelt down and slapped me in my face. The sting felt like someone placed a brazing iron on my face. She told me to go to my room and I did exactly that. When I got there I shut the door and walked to my closet. I pulled out a portrait of my aunt Leona. She was the only person who protected me. She died before my fifth birthday which devastated me. I barely saw her but when I did I felt safe. She told me she was going to adopt me but before that could happen she was taken from me. I rubbed my hand over the portrait and cried for fifteen minutes. I went and placed it back in the closet. I didn't have homework so I sat at my desk and glanced out the window. I hoped someone would come and save me from my mom. I pulled out a small notebook and began writing words that expressed how I felt. After being alone in my room for several hours my mothers boyfriend came into my bedroom."

"He grabbed me and threw me on my bed. I was scared but I didn't give any indication that I was because I knew my mother would ignore me. He removed my shirt and ran his hands over my chest. He felt gratified as he molested me. I looked frantic and terrified. He did the unthinkable and unforgivable. He knelt down and kissed me on the lips. I closed my eyes tightly to keep from thinking about it. He then traveled down to my shorts and pulled them down along with my underwear. I began fondling me. I was underdeveloped so I couldn't get aroused. Even if I could I wouldn't have been. He placed his mouth around my genitalia and began doing bobbing motions with his head. After he finished he left me there nude and emotionally damaged just like my mother did. That went on for the next several months. December was when I saw my mothers true colors. I was in an alley running from my mothers usual client Clayton and his thugs. I tripped and fell. I scraped my knee and both my elbows. I saw my mother in the distance and called her name. She just looked at me while leaned up against her car lighting a cigarette."

"Clayton's men had gotten a hold of me. As I screamed for help Clayton walked over to my mother and he gave her her drugs. She told him I was payment and looked at me one final time. I screamed for her one final time. After that all I heard was her car engine disappear in the distance. One of Clayton's men handed me to him and he threw me in his trunk. I was kicking and screaming the whole ride. When we arrived at Clayton's house Clayton got me from the trunk and threw me over his shoulder. I kicked and screamed for him to let me go. He must've thought it was arousing because he just smiled and ran his hands under my shirt. Once we were inside Clayton sat me on a couch. I was sitting in between two men. The one on my left began touching me. I was so afraid but the feeling wasn't new to me. I just sat there and let him continue his ministrations. Not long after the one on my right wanted a turn but was stopped by Clayton."

"He scared me second to my mother. He carried me over his shoulder to a bedroom. He slammed me down on the bed and began stripping me of my clothes. My mother used me as payment to support her drug habit so the client could keep me as long as they wanted. I looked at him with tears filling my eyes. As he ran his rough hands over my body I closed my eyes tightly and thought about my mother. The only memory that was fresh on my mind was the one that just happened where she abandoned me. I was brought out of my thoughts when I was turned over onto my stomach and Clayton rammed his genitalia into my sphincter. I screamed in agonizing pain but I knew it would fall on deaf ears. I was in a drug house and marijuana and cocaine were very powerful drugs. After he finished he beat me into unconsciousness. A few hours later I awoke and found that the house was quiet. I dressed and walked out into the hallway. I looked over the banister and saw everyone including Clayton passed out on the couch asleep."

"I used this an opportunity to escape and returned home. I knew I was walking into the lions den but I didn't care. I didn't want to return to foster care and my mom looked clean so I thought she was back to normal, boy was I wrong. At the end of December I came home from school my moms boyfriend followed me to my bedroom. He molested me and performed oral on me. Following that he me in the basement. I sat there for hours crying and thinking about what to do. My mother had went to the store for cigarettes. Still how could she let this go on?. At seven I looked up at a burgundy cover. I grabbed a chair and pulled on it. When it fell down I saw window. I climbed out and came back around to front and walked through the front door. I power walked to my room and gathered my things. I grabbed my piggy bank and headed to the front door. Just when I thought I was safe I was stopped by my mother. She told me I wasn't going anywhere and grabbed me."

"I bit her and she let me go. I left the house and headed to the Misty Woods Train Station. I didn't care where I went as long as I got away from Michigan and my mother. I bought a ticket and got on. I fell asleep after an hour. A few days later I arrived at a train station. When I got off the bus a woman asked what I was doing on the train alone. I ignored her and went to find a public bath. After searching for an hour I found one. I showered and put on a fresh change of clothes. I walked to a fast food restaurant and ordered a burger french fries and a shake. I realized I was about to be penniless so I had to find shelter. I walked for several hours and I came to the neighborhood of Sea Gate. I walked five blocks before coming to a two story house. I could tell it was abandoned was deteriorating. It was white and gray with a long veranda and porch swing. I walked inside the gate and up the stairs. I turned the doorknob and the door opened. When I walked inside I saw white powder all over the hardwood floor. To my left was the livingroom and the sofa and love seats were overturned. I placed my suitcase next to the door and decided to take a personal tour of the house. As I walked down the large hallway to my left was what appeared to be the master bedroom. To my right was the diningroom."

"I turned right and walked to the diningroom. I saw cocaine and needles on the table. Thank goodness I was wearing shoes because I stepped on pieces of glass. After passing through the diningroom I came to the kitchen. It had an island in the center. The refrigerator was to my right with the stove next to it. The counters had gone all the way around the room. I then walked to the pantry where I saw dead cockroaches. Disgusted I quickly shut the door and headed through another walkway which led to the hallway. I walked upstairs and there were five bedrooms. Two were on the right and three on the left. It was the early sixties so the house was very conservative. I was too young to notice it. To me it was a place to live and not on the streets so I didn't complain. I walked through each room. The two on the right had needles and powder on the floor. The bathrooms had dirt rings around them and the sinks were molded. I walked across the hall to see the condition of the others."

"All they were paper and bed frames. The bathrooms were just unbelievable. There were dog feces on the ground along with blood. I wondered if they bred dogs in here. Afterward I headed back downstairs and went to the master bedroom. It had nothing in there but large wooden mirror dresser. There was no bed. I walked to the closet where I saw it was empty and clean. I walked to the bathroom and found it was also clean. I surmised that whoever stayed in the master bedroom wasn't a drug addict. I had ate for the day I turned couches upright and laid down for the following morning I walked to the grocery store to find cheap food. I found two large tote bags and picked them up. I went to the dairy section and grabbed two half gallons of milk. Then I went to the canned good section and grabbed two cans of whole corn and stream beans. Then I grabbed a loaf of wheat bread, peanut butter and strawberry jam. I also grabbed a few cleaning items and laundry detergent."

"I walked to the checkout area where I saw people getting their items rung up. While no one was looking I walked out of the store and headed home. When I got home and put everything away I began cleaning the house. I started with the upstairs. I found a broom and dustpan on the back patio. I swept up the powder and poured some floor freshener on it. Next I walked across the hall and cleaned the other rooms and bathrooms. Two hours later I headed downstairs and put my cleaning in the hallway closet. I walked to the livingroom and laid down on the couch. I was worn out from walking and cleaning. I knew I couldn't keep stealing so I had to think of a way to have an income. I thought about my molestation and rape incidents. I shook my head in fear and disgust. Then I thought about robbery. I didn't know a thing about robbing but I knew more than what I should have about sex. I grabbed my suitcase and headed to the master bedroom to bathe. I spent the entire day cleaning and fixing up the house. I found four buckets of paint in the attic and touched up the walls. I painted it blood red with boarding walls white. Nightfall came and I had to think of a way to get blankets and what have you. I took another bath and dressed in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops. I left the house and walked to the corner."

"Even though Sea Gate was an upper middle class neighborhood strangers still came through. I stood on the corner looking for a customer. Twenty minutes later a car pulled in front of me. I walked to the car and got inside. His car smelled of cigarettes. He drove me back to his house. It was nice and well kept. I saw a picture of his wife and two children. He was a closet case who found pleasure from the sex. He paid little innocent boys and teenagers to have sex with him. He took me to his room and laid me down. I disrobed and laid down on the bed sprawled out. He stripped his clothing and climbed onto the bed. He lubricated me and started stretching my sphincter. Since Clayton had done this to me before and was familiar with it it was still painful. He did missionary and doggy style on me. I hated it and I felt so dirty and worthless. It was well after eight thirty when we finished. He drove me back to my neighborhood and dropped me off at the corner. He paid two hundred dollars."

"I thanked him for his time and he said thank you. I didn't know that felt more pleasured than I did. I got out of the car and walked home. I bathed and went to bed. I had a nightmare about the night my mother abandoned me and left me with Clayton. I woke up seven hours later. I took a bath and got dressed. I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and headed to the corner. This was degrading especially for a six year old. I got a different customer that night. He was kind of heavy and looked like he was in his late twenties or early thirties. I got in the car and he sped off down the street. We got back to his place and I saw he lived in the lower end of the city. Being from middle class family with a single mother I understood. We entered the apartment complex and headed to his unit. We walked upstairs and turned left. He put his key into the lock and opened the door. He shut the door behind him and turned on the light."

"He had a love seat and sofa up against the wall. We headed to his room. I stripped and got on the bed. He grabbed my head and forced it near his penis. I knew what to do and put it in my mouth. I began doing bobbing motions with my head. I imagined my mother hugging me and telling me a bedtime story. He ejaculated into my mouth. I spit the salty substance onto the floor. He punched me and told me I was supposed to swallow. I tried to run but he grabbed me and slammed on the bed. He spread my legs and forced himself into me. Clayton had done this but this felt more aggressive and unbearable. He thrusted into me for the next hour and a half. Once he finished he removed himself from and fell on his side. I laid there for an hour and tried to regain my strength. As I got up and got dressed he woke up. He asked me where I was going. He sounded possessive and angry. I told him I was going home. He got out of bed and I ran to the door and unlocked it. I ran downstairs and headed out the complex gates. The man was was far behind me. I hid in an alley."

"After thirty minutes of standing there I stuck my head out to see if he was there. When I felt the coast was clear I started walking back to my neighborhood. I got my key from under the mat and unlocked the door. I walked inside and walked to my bedroom and took a bath. I dried off and went to the livingroom and went to bed. I walked to Sea Gate Kindergarten and showed them my school documents. I got a ride from my customer from the previous night and he drove me to school. When I got there I registered myself and started the same day. I didn't tell anyone what I did at night because it was degrading and two it was no one's business. I did my schoolwork and walked home. I prostituted myself for the next two years. I bought a king size bed and frame for my bedroom with my savings."

"I felt good that I had something soft to lay my head on but I was angry with how acquired the money. On New Years 1963 a new family moved into the neighborhood. I didn't go greet them because I didn't talk to strangers. The next day at Kingsley Elementary I saw Alvin Goldsteen, Deena Tansworth and Kimberly Bradshaw. Alvin looked different than the rest of us. I didn't speak to any of them. Alvin's green eyes smiled vibrantly at me but I averted my eyes away from him. Unknown to him my classmates weren't nice to newcomers. As for Deena and Kimberly I didn't speak to them because Kimberly seemed mean and Deena looked like the submissive type. One day during school dismissal I bumped into Kimberly. I turned to look at her but I didn't apologize. Instead I looked at her and kept moving. She followed after me and tapped me on my shoulder and demanded an apology."

"I begrudgingly apologized and walked off. The other children didn't mess with me because I would fight them. During recess I sat alone away from everyone else. The teachers didn't come bother me or anything which enjoyed the most. I spent this time writing songs about my relationship with my mother. I felt tinged to the core and I cried as I wrote the words. I quickly wiped my tears away because I didn't want anyone to see my weakness. When school dismissed I headed home. When I got there I went to the bathroom. After that I went to the livingroom and started on my homework. An hour I went to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich and a got a bag of potato chips with a glass of water. As I ate I looked at television. It wasn't anything interesting on television but I wanted to hear something resonate through my ears. I sat around the house. After looking at television for thirty minutes I turned it off and went upstairs. I went to the second door on the left and put up a new curtain set."

"I did to the other two rooms next to it and went back downstairs. At seven forty-five I took a bath and dressed. I headed to the corner and stood there. It was pretty slow. I didn't get a first customer until around twenty minutes after nine. It was my usual customer. I got in and he buckled me in. He quickly sped off down the street. He asked me how my day was and I told him it was okay. He wanted to make conversation and I didn't. He was the customer and I was the client. It was strictly business and I planned on it keeping it that way. When we got to his house he brought me to his music studio. I asked him if he wanted to do the usual and he said no. He said that he was done with that and thought I was to young to be experiencing what I was going through. He taught me the controls on the equipment panel. I leaned quickly and made a musical composition for my song The Mother I Thought I Had. It was 1963 and folk was in full swing. After I finished making the instrumental I walked into the booth and I stared singing the lyrics. It was my first time being in the recording studio. After that my visits with him were no longer sexual but insightful and helpful. He didn't release my recording instead he put it on a 12 inch vinyl and gave it to me. After that he bid me goodbye and moved out of the state."

"Not long after he was gone did I realize he was the only man that paid me for my time instead of my gift. Even though he respected me I still hated prostitution. Not long thereafter Ms. Murphy gave us a science group project. I was paired with Alvin, Deena and Kimberly. I didn't do any talking during the entire duration of the project. That afternoon we went to the library and began working on our assignment. Deena tried to get me to talk but was unsuccessful. I did however talk for the first time when we presented the project to the class. We received a ninety-four and I was satisfied. I didn't talk to the three of them for the next month. In early March I got a ride to school from one of my regular customers. He was one of the abusive types. My neck was covered in hickies and my arm and ribs were severely bruised. I wore a long coat to cover my arms. As for my neck I didn't think anyone would notice so I didn't conceal it. As I reached the school gate Kimberly approached me."

"I didn't know what to expect so I just stood there. She looked at my neck and asked me if I was okay. I didn't say anything and walked inside the school. I hung around the hallway until class started. Before the bell rang I walked into the classroom. I saw no one was there and sighed with relief and walked to my desk. I put my head down on the desk. I loved the coldness against my face. As I was getting comfortable with the silence of the classroom I was interrupted by the voice of students. I lifted my head in annoyance and looked at the black chalk board. Alvin sat to my left with Deena in the next row. Kimberly sat in front of him. Although we were close in proximity we were far away in personality. We did our warm up sponge for the first ten minutes of class. When the timer dinged Ms. Murphy called me to the board. I sighed lowly and got up to go to the board. She asked me to solve one of the problems."

"I picked up a piece of chalk and began executing the problem. As I continued Ms. Murphy asked me to verbally explain. When I finished explaining Ms. Murphy laughed and said that I did the project completely wrong. I felt so humiliated that left the classroom. As I left I heard snickering. The only ones who didn't laugh were Deena, Kimberly and Alvin. I stood outside for fifteen minutes and cleaned myself up. I walked back in with a scowl on my face. Ms. Murphy looked as if she didn't know why I was glaring. I sat down in my desk and had my head down until recess. When recess came I went to my usual spot and sat down. I pulled out my lyrics and started singing. As I was singing I heard three other voices. First was Kimberly's revving engine. Then Deena came in with a sweet delicacy. Finally Alvin rounded it off with a flirtatious twang. I don't know what was wrong with me but we continued harmonizing. When we finished I stood up and we we looked at each other. Feeling embarrassed I ran off without a hitch."

"I avoided them for the rest of the day. When school dismissed I headed to the school gate. I knew they would come looking for me so I leaned against the gate and folded my arms. Not ten minutes after I got there the three of them found me. Kimberly asked me if we could hang out. I agreed to hang out with them because they found out I could sing and didn't want anyone to find out. As we walked down the street Kimberly said that while living in Rhode Island she sang on street corners. She went onto say it would be groovy if we were a group. I didn't know them well enough to form a group. When we got to Kimberly's house I found out Kimberly was the daughter of the famous singer Carol Bradshaw. I couldn't believe my eyes. She made Oatmeal Raisin cookies for us. They were delicious but I had a hard time expressing myself so I didn't say anything. We walked around her house. I saw a picture of her parents. Her mother Valery was beautiful. She had long blond hair that was flipped with a bang swept over her forehead."

"She was standing in front of Carol's father looking into the distance. Her father Hogan looked like he meant business. He had bright copper red hair. It was combed over and he was wearing a suit. It was a half portrait and Carol came and stood next to me. She said that picture was taken in 1933 when they were twenty and nineteen. I didn't ask any questions but she knew my eyes could was curious looking at the picture. A year later in June 1964 we visited Kimberly's grandmother Valery in Ella Mona, Maryland. It was my fist time ever being on the east coast. She was sweet and was one of our earliest and biggest fans and supporters. We sang her one of our first group collaborated songs Love, Anger, Flirtation and Shyness. I played it on my acoustic guitar and she was ecstatic. I think her husband or children sang for her when she was younger because she had tears in her eyes as we sang. From seven in the morning to eight at night we would sing on street corners. We were spit on, cursed out and had things thrown us and we brawled too. We wanted stardom so bad that we were willing to deal with horrible treatment we faced."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Flirty Al**

"It was 1965 and it was bittersweet for me for several reasons. One is because my mother was back in a financial bind and I didn't know how I could help her. I had my best friends in my corner and they helped anyway they could. Danny raised his prostitution price, Kimberly pawned things and Deena asked gave some money that her aunt had given her three years before. I hated that my friends had to sacrifice things to help but we were friends after and we would do anything to help each other out. When my mother found out that Danny had been prostituting himself she tried to talk him out of it but it didn't work. I went to his house one day in early January we were talking about my situation. He told me that prostitution was the only way he knew how to survive and that that was all he was good for."

"I lowered my eyes and slapped him in his face. He looked at me stunned with tears in his electric blue eyes. I told him that he was worth more than that and that was talented. I told him that he could sing as well as arrange vocals flawlessly. He laughed coyly and looked away from me. He mumbled under his breath that I was just trying to butter him up. I was fed up with down talking that I gritted my teeth and jacked him up against the kitchen wall. I told him to stop talking about himself that way and remember that he has friends and two women that love and care about him. He looked at me and said really. He said his own mother didn't give a damn about him and that I would never understand his struggle.I yelled and said that I do understand."

"He looked at me with unconvinced expression. Before I could answer the doorbell rang. I let him go and walked to the door. It was Kimberly and Deena. They had come over to hang out. Kimberly saw Danny and walked over to him and asked if he was alright. He said yeah and Kimberly not disbelieving him asked again and we all walked into the kitchen. I sat at the table, Deena leaned on the island, Kimberly sat on the counter and Danny was leaned up against the pantry door. Danny said that he was sick of prostituting himself. Deena said there were shelters he could seek out and Danny instantly shot the idea down. He must had been in foster care or something to have shot it down so quickly. Kimberly tried talking him out of it but he wouldn't budge."

"I threw my hands up and told him to do what he wanted. He said that he knew what he was doing was risky and that if risk is what takes to survive then so be it. Deena reminded him that we were The Lone Wolves and that we spent every boiling summer deathly winter honing our craft and for what? For him to spread his legs or open his mouth for some creepy old pervert? I think not. We had breakfast together and went into the den to practice harmonizing. Kimberly took the lead and we sang Hardships of A Child Hooker. It was song I couldn't stand singing because Danny I knew what Danny was out there doing every night to make his ends meet."

"We sang that song strictly on electric guitar. Although we had only been singing together for two years the harmony for that song was an achievement. I told Danny he should sing it because he could feel the lyrics better than I could or the girls for that matter. He objected and told me to sing it. We clashed over it for hours before I decided to do it. We sang that song for three minutes and rehearsed others for the next five hours. Danny was really a perfectionist and he wanted our group to have phenomenal quality to our group sound as a whole. I agreed with him but we would go days without sleep to get things done. But since we all wanted the same thing those sleepless nights of January were worth it. At the end of January we threw Danny a birthday party."

"He seemed happy although he didn't show it. Deena baked him a cake, Kimberly made a big dinner and I brought gifts using our money. We didn't decorate the house because it was just a family thing. When the cake finished and Deena frosted it we sang him happy birthday. We sang it in three voice two part harmony with Deena signing lead. She sounded clear as a crystal. Kimberly and I looked at each other smiling because Danny never let Deena sang lead on any songs, it was always Kimberly or myself. Dinner was good and Deena had a real motherly touch to her cooking despite being only nine years old. Danny mumbled a thank you. He was developing at a very slow pace and that was good enough for us."

"School was still the same the only difference was we stuck together. If one was being picked on they'd have to deal with three others. Deena was maternal and submissive while Kimberly was free loving and an iron fist. Danny was our alpha and I was the laid back jokester. We always paired with each other on group projects and when we went on field trips. I remember on the fifth of February we went to a history museum and a girl pushed Deena into a glass case. The girl must've thought Deena was going to take it. The next thing we knew Deena was fighting her back and the girl got her ass kicked. When they were separated from one another the girl told the teacher that Deena started it and hurt her. The teacher didn't believe her because she was a infamous troublemaker. That was one of my most memorable and cherished memories of Deena."

"We continued the rest of the field trip with our arms linked together. When we returned to school the following Monday we had to write a one page paper on what we found interesting at the museum. History wasn't one of my favorite subjects but I did put forth my best effort. That night Carol and Kimberly came over for dinner. We had lasagna and salad. After we finished cleaning the kitchen my mother and Carol strolled down memory lane. Kimberly and I were in the den looking at our shelves of movies. Kimberly was a huge fan of Carla Lexington and Garner Mayfield's work. We just sat on the couch talking about what we would do when we became famous."

"Kimberly wanted to travel the world. I wanted nothing more than to get my mom in a position where she wouldn't have to worry about money. Kimberly and Carol left around nine that night and I went to bed. Jason didn't even come down for dinner. He didn't want to see Kimberly but the feeling was mutual so it was a win win situation. That Saturday we walked to the dock and stared at the water. Danny was feeling tuneful and we started harmonizing. It wasn't any song in particular we just sang whatever came to our mind. We felt tranquility whenever we sang at the dock. It was like time had froze in place just for us. Even though we weren't doing any serious blowing Kimberly still did her footwork dance with her chin up and swaying in the breeze. The rest of us just stood there with our arms at our side singing."

"We stayed at the dock from eight in the morning until eight at night. We walked home together. We saw Jason sitting on one of his friends porches and he decided to get cute and said something disrespectful. Knowing their tempers Kimberly and Danny cursed him out and he was ready to brawl. Deena stood in between the three of them and told Jason to go back to the porch before things got ugly. Jason said that Deena saved them both from an ass whooping but Danny and Kimberly weren't afraid at all. We resumed walking until we reached my street. They hugged me and bid me goodnight. I waled down the sidewalk smiling just because. When I got home my mother was asleep on the couch. I shook awake and walked her to her room."

"I washed my hands and warmed dinner that my mother had prepared earlier. I stood at the microwave for three minutes. When the timer dinged I got my plate and walked to the table. I blessed my food and began eating. As I ate I thought about Jason. I couldn't wrap my mind around how I protected him from people ten times my size and he didn't do the same for me. The very thought of that pissed me off to no end. After I finished dinner I washed my dishes and went to my bedroom. I really missed New York. Yeah I was friendless there but I was okay. In California it was like just because your different they wanted you dead because you were a different complexion than them."

"February had went by without a hitch and March was in bloom. Everyone was talking about their spring break plans. My mom wanted to go to Annapolis, Maryland to visit my paternal grandparents. I hadn't met them before and this could've been my only chance so I packed my suitcase the night before. On Saturday morning my mother and I rode to Kingsley Airport. I had never flown before so it was new for me. My mother on the hand grew up flying so it was a no brainer for her. She told me to think of a happy place to take my mind off the turbulence. I thought my friends and I being onstage singing together. There were thousands of fans screaming our names and holding posters with pictures of us on them. It was a good eccentric feeling."

"We arrived in Annapolis on Monday morning and my rented a car. We rode for about an hour before we arrived in a upper middle class neighborhood. We pulled into a driveway. The house was one story but it was high end. We got our luggage and two people were on the porch smiling. They came downstairs with open arms. My grandmother walked to me crying and hugged me. I hugged her back and she smelt of roses and cinnamon. When we separated she said I had grown a mile since she last saw me. She told me her name was Sabrina. Then the man knelt down and hugged me. He told me his name was Dean. He took our suitcases and we went inside. There house was magnificent. There was 1930s vintage furniture. There was a bear rug in the den and a raging fire going in the fireplace."

"My grandmother led us to the den and we sat down on the couch. She poured us each a cup of tea. She asked my mother how she was doing. She smiled and said fine. She told her of the financial trouble we were going through. Her facial expression went from happy to sad and concerned in five seconds. She asked if she needed any help. She said no and that we would be fine. My grandmother didn't buy whatsoever and went to her bedroom. She returned with a checkbook and wrote out a check for ten thousand dollars. That was a hefty sum she wrote out and my mother didn't want to take it but my grandmother insisted. She thanked her and took the check."

"My grandfather came into the den and sat in a chair across from us. He asked how I was doing in school. I told him I was doing fine and that we had took a field trip recently to a history museum. He seemed very interested in me. As our conversation continued his face became shrouded with sadness. He told my mother it was nine and a half years since my fathers death and my mother dabbed her eyes. My grandmother placed an arm around her shoulder comfortingly. I placed my hand on her hand and patted it soothingly. My grandfather asked if she had began courting anyone and she said no and he asked why. She said because she wanted to focus on us and that a man wouldn't want to be with her because she had kids."

"My grandmother thought that was blasphemy and said that there's someone out there for everyone. She said that the love of her life came and went already. My grandparents couldn't bring my father back all they could do was console her and take it in stride everyday. My grandfather changed the mood when he asked if we were hungry. We said yes and they led us to the diningroom. It had three chandeliers hanging above the table. My grandmother joked that airline food tasted like rubble and charcoal. My mother laughed trying not to remember my father. My grandmother walked in with two plates in had. He placed them in front of us. My mother asked if they were hungry and they said they ate earlier and that the food they prepared was for us. We blessed the food and began eating."

"My grandmother placed her chin on top of her hands and she looked at us. Every time I looked at her she smiled lovingly and I would blush being shy and looked down at my plate and continued eating. My grandfather asked my mother what kind of work she did and she said she was a bank teller. My grandmother whistled impressed and said that she wondered why she struggled so hard if she worked for a bank. My mother said that the pay was good for someone who lived alone not for a single mother with two children. My grandmother shook her head in agreement saying that when she was raising her five children with my grandfather was hard because they only made forty cents an hour when they had their first two children."

"When my father was born my grandparents were still struggling harder due to the aftermath of the Great Depression. In 1941 when the United States entered the second world war my grandparents became relatively wealthy. My grandmother owned a hair salon franchise and my grandfather owned several own car dealerships. It was such a surprise to me how they lived so luxuriously. After dinner we washed dishes and my grandmother showed us our rooms. My mother and I were right down the hall from each other and my grandparents were closer to the front of the house. My room was fit for a boy. It had dark blue paint and airplanes hanging down from the ceiling."

"When night fell I took a bath. I stayed in there for forty-five minutes and came out. I went to bed wondering about my friends. I hoped that Danny took my encouragement to heart. I awoke the next morning with a renewed mind. My grandparents had made breakfast and were out on the veranda drinking orange juice. I made my bed brushed my teeth and got dressed. I walked to the kitchen where I saw my mother putting scrambled eggs on her plate. I greeted her with a smile and vice versa. She made me a plate and we walked into the diningroom. We blessed our food and began eating. I asked her if she felt comfortable with Jason staying with one of his friends and she said yes and she went onto say that she couldn't wait for him to turn eighteen."

"I laughed and said I couldn't wait either. We spent the rest of breakfast in silence. When I finished I washed my dishes and went to join my grandparents on the veranda. I greeted them and they greeted me. They looked peaceful and happy together. I asked them where they were from originally. My grandmother said she was from New Hampshire and my grandfather said he was from West Virginia. They said they met when my grandfather came to New York on a business trip with his father. He met my grandmother in 1925. They didn't hit it off right away because my grandmother thought he was a player. Well by February 1926 they became close friends. They started dating in 1928 and married in 1931."

"My grandparents had my Uncle Jonathan in 1934, Aunt Jade in 1935 my father in 1936 my aunt Samantha in 1937 and uncle Angel in 1939. They weren't the closest of siblings and they got whippings a lot. After my aunt Jade was born they moved to New York and settled in Buffalo. They said when my father was thirteen he met my mother in Katie Springs, New York at a festival. They were shy around each other but my mother was more straight forward than he was. When he graduated high school he entered the Air Force and rose to the rank of first lieutenant. While he was relieved from duty my mother became pregnant and they vacationed to Hawaii for a month. Then three months later on September 21, 1955 my father died after crashing off the coast of Connecticut. My mother and grandparents were devastated when they learned of his death."

"His injuries were so bad that they wanted him cremated. He was buried Katie Springs Cemetery. They said that his siblings attended but didn't stay long because they had other things they had to do. My mother and grandparents were furious with them and they have been estranged for the past ten years. I haven't met any of them and that was the reason why. We stayed in Annapolis until Saturday. We shared a tearful goodbye and drove to the airport. We boarded the plane. When I took my seat all I could think about was my grandparents. My mother sat next to me and asked if I was okay. I said I was fine and couldn't believe my aunts or uncles. She said that the other reason they were estranged from him and his parents was because of my interracial birth with me. I was unaware at the time that that was forbidden. 

"But my parents were in love and they weren't going to let society tell them they couldn't be together. The plane took off and I soon fell asleep. When we returned to California on Monday I felt my throat swell up. My body temperature had went up drastically. While we loaded our luggage into the car I fainted on the ground. My mother got me into the car and drove to the hospital. The doctor prescribed me some medicine and told my mom that I needed rest. When we got home she disrobed me and dressed me in some cooler clothes and put me in bed. I fell asleep upon contact with my bed. I slept for days on end. I had no idea what was going on in reality because I was a visitor in dreamland. I awoke the next day and I could barely open my eyes. My mother was sitting next to me. I smiled and struggled to moved my upper body. She told me to take it easy and fed me some ice cream to try and bring down my fever. I couldn't even taste the Rocky Road flavored desert. I just cried and my mother patted my head and shushed me soothingly telling me everything was going to be okay. She then left me and I fell back asleep."

"The next day I awoke up around twelve noon and my mother was sitting next to my bed and she was crying. I felt really bad because I knew Jason was fucking her off and not helping her. I wished that my fever came and went like a mist but it wasn't so. I was a victim to my own body. All I could do was lay there and watch my mother cry over me. I knew bills were piling up and we were falling behind. Damn and stardom wasn't coming any faster. There were days I just wished I wouldn't wake up at all because the pain was so unbearable. I stayed strong for my mother because I knew once I recovered everything would be back to normal. I also wondered during my consciousness how my friends were doing. I hoped Danny wasn't causing any friction with Kimberly and Deena. It was so much crossing my mind and there was no kind of action I could take to help both my mother and friends. It was going to be one hell of a week for me."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Peach Bauer**

"I remember my first psychedelic experience. It was in January of 1965. We were at Danny's house and Danny had just gotten back from one of his customers. He smelled of sex, shame and something else I couldn't put my finger on. We were all alone in the house. We had fell asleep from harmonizing all day. When I awoke I saw nothing but colors around me. I couldn't recognize a thing. All I heard were voices. After a few hours the drugs when the drugs wore off I saw sugar cubes in front of me I looked at the others and they looked at me. I asked him if we did what I think we did and Danny confirmed it with a smile. Although we were very young we did it with each other and we trusted each other. That's where the inspiration of Psychedelic Firefly came from. Alvin said that it was his first time too and that when they lived in New York was already doing it but he never done to him."

"I started questioning if he had done anything to Alvin sexually and he shivered in disgust and said that he hoped not. Danny said that gay people creeped him out and that if anyone of them liked him he would kick their ass. I told Danny that gay people couldn't help what they liked even if the person was straight. He said that he didn't care and that if they know their straight they should back off and find someone. Sometimes I wondered about Danny's intelligence and I outright asked him if he was gay. Everyone stopped and looked at me. He said hell no and asked where I got that accusation from. I told him that even though he's prostituting himself he could choose to turn down male clients. Alvin and Deena agreed and Danny said that male clients paid more and weren't attached like women. I said even still you could choose the type of client despite pay. He said since it was for survival he chose male clientele instead."

"We resumed walking with Danny glaring at me. On the thirty-first we celebrated Danny's eleventh birthday. Deena bake a cake, I made dinner and Alvin went home to bring his gifts. He wanted to cry I could sense it and asked him if wanted to cry and he said no. He just ate dinner and opened his presents. He mumble a thank you and we ate dinner with him. We didn't' do any rehearsing for the next two weeks due to loads of homework from Ms. Murphy. That February on the fifth we went on a field trip to the history museum. Deena fought a classmate that pushed her into a glass artifact and the girl thought she was in the wrong. I for one was proud of Deena because she was the sweetest out of the four of us with Alvin being second. That Monday we had to write a one page paper on what we found interesting about the museum. Deena wrote a three page paper drenched in detail."

"I didn't care for history but I took pride in my work. I got an eighty-eight on my report. Throughout the week we wrote songs and rehearsed on Danny's new electric guitar. We had by this time established a close friendship although Danny wouldn't admit until a few years later. At the end of February we rehearsed a song Deena wrote called Flying Nightingale and I sang the lead. I was so into it that I reached a note that I never hit before, it was amazing. I wasn't overdoing it but you could tell I was feeling the lyrics. We sang it in open harmony. I sang lead while the others sang on background vocals. It was the first time I took the lead over Alvin. In March we were assigned to due an individual project on the spring season. I did a poster board and discussed allergies and the events that occurred during that time. We were given a week on it and when I presented Ms. Murphy was blown away. She thought that I would do something more toned down. I figured since it was the last grade before marking period why not end with a spectacular presentation."

"During recess students discussed their plans for spring break. Alvin told us that he and his mother was going to Annapolis, Maryland to visit his paternal grandparents. He said it was so exciting because it will be the first time he met and also he could find out more about his father. I felt that Alvin, Danny and I had a lot in common especially Alvin and Danny. Both Alvin's died while he was an infant and Danny's fathers died before he was and I had our fathers despite them being inactive in our lives. Danny said that with or without him we were going to rehearse. I said if we were going to skip over his parts and Deena and I would sing ours. He said he would sing Alvin and his own parts. Alvin innocently asked if he felt comfortable singing his parts since he was a baritone. Danny said it wouldn't hurt to try. Alvin said that he could arrange to fit his range and Danny said he knew that and said that's what he planned on doing from the start."

"Alvin sarcastically said mmhmm and said that if he was going to arrange it to fit his rang why would he chance it and try to sing in his range. Danny told him to shut up and Alvin and I laughed at him. I asked Deena if she was leaving for spring break and she said no but her parents were going to Florida. I asked why they never invite her anywhere and she said because their ashamed of her. We all fell silent and Alvin balled up his fist and looked at Deena angrily. He asked her and she said she didn't know. Danny asked if she ever thought about running away. She said she would never do anything so idiotic because it would be pointless because she would end up back at her parents house. Danny said he did and it worked. Alvin said that you got away on train and what worked for him may not work for her. Despite the harsh treatment Deena received she still loved her parents unconditionally."

"Danny said that she was a better person than him and asked how did people love someone that treated them like garbage. Alvin sighed and said that at the end of the day they were family and they have to go home to them not their friends so you learn how to cope with them. Danny just snorted and looked out into the distance with his arms around his knees. Recess ended and we headed back inside for class. The day had gone by and we were released for break. Danny, Deena and I didn't go anywhere and we rehearsed as planned. Danny rearranged the material to fit our voices. Although we were singing acoustically the harmonies were beautiful and Deena and I sang as if Alvin were still there. The following Tuesday morning at Danny's he and I began brawling because he got in my face and said I sounded like a washed up whale. Deena didn't do anything to break us up because she was frightened by the violence."

"I think she also felt that we needed to get our anger out of our systems and physicality was the best solution. After we finished brawling Deena and I left. She asked if we would ever find common ground and I told her that I hoped so. We brawled for most of the week. I found it strange that she would be the peacemaker when it came to fights between us but submitted when it came to Danny's leadership. As I walked to the veranda I thought about Alvin. I hoped that his flight was safe. He came back at seven the next night. He showered and met us at Danny's house. We rehearsed several songs. While doing this Alvin lost his voice. Danny asked him why he stopped and he said he lost his voice. Being the insensitive jerk he was Danny coerced Alvin into continuing. I didn't stand for that and I told Alvin he needed to take a rest. Danny asked me what the hell my problem was. I told him that it was him and he immediately took offense. I told him that maybe Alvin had gotten sick in Annapolis and it messed with his voice. Danny sighed heavily and said he didn't care."

"Deena and I looked at him in disbelief. Danny said and that if we wanted stardom we'd rehearse in any condition. I defiantly told Danny no and that Alvin's health was more important. Danny looked at Deena who looked away from him scaredly. He looked back at me with his arms folded and walked off. I shook my head and walked over to the couch and sat next to Alvin. He looked horrible but he didn't want us to worry about him. I asked him if he needed medicine he shook his head yes. Deena and I walked him home. When we arrived at his house Jason opened the door. We asked if his mother was home and he gave some smartass comment. I gave Alvin to Deena and pushed passed him and Deena aided Alvin inside. Their mother came out of the kitchen and greeted us. We greeted her and she rushed over to get Alvin."

"We told her that his voice sounded terrible when we were singing and that Danny had forced him to keep singing. She thought that was a mean thing to do and took him upstairs to his bedroom. When she was out of earshot I turned to Jason with daggers in my eyes. I told him to never give me smartass comment like that again. He answered back by asking if I kissed my mother with my mouth.__I gritted my teeth and told him that wasn't important. He said that it was because in a situation like this I should've been more cordial to him. I told him that his brother was sick and he needed immediate medical attention. He chuckled and said its always been about him and that his mother favors him. I told him that his mother loved them both the same and that she hates his behavior. He shot me down and told me to shut up because I don't live with them. I countered by saying that no I didn't live with them but she talked a great deal about him."

"Jason turned his back and walked out of the house. I knew he didn't believe but it was true. I knew because every time I helped my mom cook she would talk to Alvin's mother about Jason. She said that he could be sweet but it was rare. I just shook my head and turned my attention to Alvin's mother who was coming downstairs. Deena and I took each others hands. Deena asked if he was going to be alright. She said yes and that he needed a few days of rest. Deena closed her eyes and placed her right hand on her chest with relief.I smiled and said thank goodness. She then invited us for dinner. We politely declined and said we needed to head home. She said okay and walked us to the door. She told us to be careful as walked down the sidewalk. We smiled and told her we would and to have a goodnight. As Deena and I were walking we discussed Danny's behavior. Deena said she couldn't believe how he acted today. I said I wasn't shocked because Danny was just naturally a jerk to people friend or not. Deena said that she hopes Danny's personality gets better because he had good friends in his corner that deals with his mean ways."

"I laughed and said that hopefully he can live to see Good Friday with the kind of mouth he has. We both laughed. I then asked her why she allowed Danny to treat her harshly during rehearsal. She said that since she had the lowest voice out of the four of us background vocals would be best. I called bullshit and said that just because she had a low voice doesn't mean she couldn't resonate a high power when she sang. Deena sighed and said that Danny must have saw something in her musically since she was in the group. I had said that that's true but we were friends before we were a band and that it appeared to me he didn't have much respect for her. She looked at me shocked that I would I say such a thing. She said that she begged to differ and she said that if that was the case then he should've hated me. I told her he knows that I'm going to say something regardless so he tries to stay out of my way. I referenced how earlier in the week how we brawled with one another and things started calming down afterwards."

"Deena made an o motion with her mouth and said that made a lot of sense." I told her I was going to tell Danny what we talked about tomorrow and she said groovy. We reached my street and we hugged each other and parted ways. I walked down my sidewalk and she crossed the street. I walked for a few minutes and when I made it home I saw a car in the driveway. I didn't know who it could've belonged to and walked inside. When I entered the foyer I saw my uncle Albert and his boyfriend Brad. I ran over to him and gave him a big hug. I asked him how he was doing and he said he was fine. I asked Brad the same thing and he said he was never better. I sat in between them and my mother came into the foyer with a tray of tea on it. I greeted her as she placed them on the table. She greeted me back and asked how my day was doing and said fine and vice versa. She said hers was okay and when uncle Albert had came put the icing on the cake."

"Uncle Albert smiled and said that he just drove from Maryland to here. His boyfriend said that he was pissed on the way here because of the way people were driving. My mom laughed and asked how grandma was and he said she's doing okay and that her dementia was progressing a little quicker than before. He said that she thought he was my grandfather. My mom looked sad commenting that she wanted to see her but has to work for the next two months. Uncle Albert said he understood and said that Ellen and the others didn't even come when he was there. My mom suck her teeth and said that she wasn't surprised. Uncle Albert then said that they never come to see her even when she begs and that it shouldn't get to the point where she has to beg. She's your mother for Pete's sake. Its an automatic given that a child is there for their parents. She said that she had a legitimate reason. Brad said he understood but the others were self employed and could take off anytime they wanted to.."

"I was brought out of my thoughts when my mother told us it was dinner time. We all walked to the diningroom and sat at the table. My mother brought out two plates and sat them before Uncle Albert and Brad. She then returned a few moments later with my and her plate. Brad said that he wished my grandfather would've lived to taste my moms cooking. Carol agreed as she poured lemonade in our glasses. When she sat down she blessed the food and we began eating. Brad asked me how my grade were and I said they were fine. I told him that averaged a eight-nine in science, a seventy-five in math, a ninety in reading, a ninety-four in history and and a eighty-one in spelling. He clapped and congratulated me on my current success. I thanked him as I cut into my baked steak. My mother said told them that my friends and I formed a vocal quartet. Uncle Albert looked at me with excitement. He told me that we needed costumes to give him a call. I thanked him and said we would when we hit it big. For the rest of dinner we discussed grandma Valery. They said that my aunt Ellen had planned on placing her in a nursing home but my mom intervened and kept her at Cashmere Hill. After dinner Brad and I washed dishes while my mom uncle Albert talked in the livingroom."

"I asked Brad how he and my uncle met. He blushed and said they met back in 1956 when they were at University of Maryland at Ella Mona. They were in English five and had to work together on a project. Brad said he wasn't as smart as Albert but nonetheless they completed the assignment. After the project they didn't talk for several months until September and Albert was at a birthday party for one of his close friends. Through mutuality they met again and talked. This time they weren't shy to be around each other and became friends. Both of their friends except for the birthday boy was against it for obvious reasons. Despite that they remained friends and entered courtship in April 1957. Around that time Brad met me when I was only two years old. He held me and took a picture with me in his arms. In 1962 they moved to Michigan and wanted to get married a few months later in July of that year. They were denied the right to because of their gender. So after that they returned to Michigan and lived in a one bedroom condominium."

"When we finished the dishes I wiped down the stove and counters and we walked into the livingroom. We saw my mother and uncle going through a family photo book when they were kids. We sat down next to them and saw them. There was one where they were preteens and teens except for my aunt Karen and uncle Ricky and Albert. They were sitting on the porch of their childhood mansion Cashmere Hill. My mother looked upset and so does aunt Ellen. From what my mother told me she and Ellen got into a fight earlier that day and mom beat her up. They were lined up from oldest to youngest. My aunt Ellen was the oldest daughter and child. Then it was Holly, La'Donna, my mother, Karen, Ricky and Albert. I told my mother and uncle Albert that maybe grandma and grandpa wanted at least one picture of them before they killed each other. They both laughed and said they thought so too. But as it turned out we're all alive we're just divided into two teams."

"The next one was a picture of my aunt La'Donna and mother when they were sixteen and fifteen. They were nightclub singers at the Slidestone. I thought they looked so stunning. Mother said one night after they finished performing grandpa and grandma were in the audience and aunt La'Donna started apologizing when she saw them. He let them go and said that if they left without telling them again they wouldn't live to see another day. I laughed because I never thought of aunt La'Donna as the frightening type. My mother said she feared my father not because she was literally afraid but because she knew he meant business when it came to rules and punishment. The next picture we saw was a picture of aunt Ellen, my mother and Karen together. Mother commented that she didn't want to take the picture but grandpa insisted. He always wanted a picture of the oldest, middle and youngest daughters together. She said she only did it because she didn't want to disappoint him. That was one of few pictures of my mother and aunt Ellen and Karen together."

"My uncle Albert said that my aunt Ellen believed that grandpa favored my mother because she could sing and dance while Ellen could only dance. My mother said that grandpa treated them equally. He also gave them nicknames. Ellen was named Apple because she was the oldest. Holly's was Doll because her face reminded her father of porcelain. La'Donna was named Don in short for her name." My mother was named Rebel because she fought a lot. My aunt Karen was named Lyricist because she always wrote poems. Uncle Ricky was named Sport because he excelled in athletics and sports and uncle Albert was named Einstein because of he was an academic prodigy. All of my aunts and uncles liked there names and they acted their names out every day of the week as my uncle Albert claims. The next picture was met with silence. It was a picture of grandma, uncle Albert, aunt La'Donna and my mother surrounding grandpa the day before he died."

"I asked my uncle Albert where aunt Ellen, Holly, Karen and uncle Ricky were at the time. He said they were at a party. I asked what were they doing partying when grandpa was at home dying. My mother said that as Ellen put it daddy got what deserved after all his years of neglecting them and tending to my mother, aunt La'Donna and uncle Albert. He looked a little pale but nonetheless healthy. Grandpa had his arm around grandma. Mother was on his right with her forearm on his left knee, uncle Albert was under his left arm. Lastly aunt La'Donna was on the opposite side of my mother. They all were sad but hid it with smiles. It was just so selfish that my other aunts and uncle weren't there for grandpa when he needed them. They didn't even attend his funeral because grandma threw them out days before. Mother said that grandpa's body wasn't present because he didn't want people to see him in a coffin."

"Uncle Albert and my mother sang at the funeral. It was painful but bearable. Uncle Albert eased the pain by singing optimistically. My mother sang a song called Father Your Still Here. It had a jazzy yet gospel feel to it. Mother hated church and only attended for weddings and funerals if she knew them. For the rest of the album were pictures of my mother alone with my father. My mother pulled the pictures out and ripped them up. None of us questioned her reason for we all knew why and we closed the photo album. At nine that night we bid uncle Albert and Brad a safe drive back to Michigan. When we got back inside I went upstairs took a bath and showered. I hoped Alvin was healing well and everything. That next day we wrote songs and rehearsed.I told Danny what Deena and I had discussed the previous day and Danny just stared at us."

"I told him I wasn't one for talking about someone behind their backs and neither was Deena. He asked if there was something wrong with him. I knew Deena was afraid to vocalize so I told him yes and that he needed to stop being such an asshole to those around him. He just flew off the handle and I cursed him out. After that we began rehearsing but stopped during the first forty-five minutes because Danny said we couldn't hit the notes Alvin could. So we left and went to check on Alvin leaving Danny alone in his funk. When we got there we found out he had strep throat and a fever. His mother was distraught and worried. Deena sat next to her and placed a comforting hand around her shoulder. I rushed upstairs to Alvin's bedroom and saw Jason standing over his bed. I told him to leave the room kindly. He snarkily mouthed the words hell no. I came in and shoved him out of the room. I didn't care if he lived there or not Alvin needed rest. I sat on the right side of Alvin's bed and held his hand."

"I told him that we needed him because Danny wouldn't let Deena and I sing his part. I told him I cursed out Danny because he didn't feel confident enough in Deena and I's voices which pissed us both off. He didn't stir at all and I just smiled with optimism and told him to get well soon. I looked up to see Deena standing in the doorway. I asked where Alvin's mother was and she walked in and said that she was in her room crying. I nodded my head in understanding and she asked me how Alvin was. I told her he wasn't progressing in the least. She came over and sat on the opposite side and took his hand. We stayed with Alvin until noon and left. We didn't feel like dealing with Danny so we walked down to Jade Monopoly. When we arrived Cody was serving soft drinks. When we got to the bar he jokingly said that Jade Monopoly was a teen bar. I smiled and told him we knew that but didn't care and that we wouldn't cause trouble. I ordered a Harley Coaster which was cola and lemon lime mixed together."

"It originated from my hometown of Harley Beach, Rhode Island. Deena ordered a simple pineapple soda. We each gave him five cents. He took them and went to the kitchen. While Cody got our drinks together I turned and looked out into the dinging area. I saw a boy onstage reciting a poem. From what I could make out it sounded serene with a depressing tinge. When he finished people applauded him and he scurred offstage. I assumed he had stagefright and smiled. I turned back around and Cody came out with our drinks. He said that he doesn't see us around Jade Monopoly much anymore. I said that we were experiencing a few things within our circle. He didn't pry and asked if we still were polishing up on our harmony and I said it was coming along slowly but surly. He then gave his attention to Deena. He asked her if she still had an inferiority complex with her voice. She said yes and felt that Danny had contradicted himself. Cody on asked how so sounding interested."

"Deena explained that Danny told her two years prior that her voice was a key factor to our harmony yet now he wouldn't her sing Alvin's part. Cody said that if Danny appreciated her he would let her sing. He then followed up with asking where Danny and Alvin were. I said that Danny was being a pissy baby and Alvin was sick. He gave his condolences and asked what was wrong with Danny. I told him that I cursed him out because he disrespectfully said that Deena and I couldn't hit the notes that Alvin could. Cody said that he would've done the same thing because not everyone is meant to sing high. We conversed with Cody for the next two hours and headed to Danny's. When he opened the door he still looked angry but let us in. I ignored him and we walked into his livingroom. He didn't even bother to ask how Alvin was doing. He just walked to the kitchen and popped open a soda can. I looked at Deena in disbelief and she just shrugged her shoulders letting me know that Danny was being Danny. We walked into the kitchen and asked him what he had done since we left."

"He said that he played his guitar and worked on songs. He told us whenever Alvin returned that he would tell us how our voices would be arranged. I said that he couldn't work Alvin right away and he said that he was his tenor and that he would work him as he hard as he wanted to. I got angry and told him that I wasn't going to allow him to do that. He told me I could leave the group if I didn't like the way he did things. I told him that I wasn't going anywhere and that he needed to change his ways or he wouldn't have anyone to lean on. He retorted that he didn't care which we all knew was a lie. I said okay and asked if he was still prostituting himself. He said that was none of my business which signaled that he was still doing it. I asked him why he needed a house this huge and its just him living in it. He said it was the only house in the neighborhood that was vacant so he jumped at the opportunity."

"I asked him about his mother and he slammed his fist against the refrigerator. I could feel the tension in the kitchen. I stood there not budging one bit at his flaring temper. Deena on the other hand started walking toward us to make sure a punch wasn't exchanged. He told me to never mention her again. I apologized and told him that if he talked to her maybe things would change. He bitterly said that things would never change with her. Deena walked towards him with open arms to try and calm him down but when shot her a glare she backed away. I told him that if wanted to talk we were there for him and we left. As we walked down the sidewalk Deena asked what that was about and I shrugged my shoulders and said I don't know. She said she never saw him so furious before. I told her we better strap ourselves in because it wouldn't be the last."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Nerdy Nervosa**

"Danny shot me a death glare. I backed away because it was the logical thing to do. If I had gone any closer he probably would've killed me. When we left his house I told Kimberly that I had never seen him so furious before. She said that we had better strap ourselves in because it wasn't going to be the last time we see it. After I parted ways with Kimberly I walked down the sidewalk leading to my house. I wondered for a while if Danny would've hit me if I had gotten any closer. I mean I am one of the sweetest people you could ever meet. But I often wondered if I was too sweet too others. When I got home I put my key in the door and walked inside. Everything was how I left it. I went to my room and sat down at my desk". I was contemplating if should go around Danny for a while. He was known to be angry for as long as week. But it wasn't like Kimberly said anything out of the way. I started crying and began assuming the worst case scenario. After sitting at home for thirty minutes I decided to visit Alvin."

"When I got there his mother was much better than yesterday. She offered me some teacakes and lemon tea. I accepted and she told me Alvin had awoken for a few minutes but the pain caused him to go back to sleep. I felt so bad for him. He was sick and here Danny was being a jerk and not even coming to visit. I guess not visiting was his way of not worrying. After I finished my snack I headed to his room. I saw flowers and a teddy bear. When I got to his bed I saw it was from his paternal grandparents. The similarities of our names made me feel normal because no one I knew had a name such as mine. I sat down next to his bed and took his hand."I began crying again and I told Alvin what happened. Although Danny didn't hit me I had a strong feeling he would have and Kimberly would've jumped on him. I told him what we talked about and how I scared I was in the aftermath."

"I held onto his hand for dear life as I described how his face looked. I soon ended the conversation and said that he needed to come back. I missed his jokes, sarcasm and most of all his smile. I stayed with him for four hours and left around five. I bid his mother goodnight and headed home." When I returned home I heated up a meal I prepared before I left and ate. I ate quickly and went upstairs to my bedroom. I grabbed some pajama's and went to take a bath. After I finished I came out and got dressed for bed."When I got to bed I laid down and closed my eyes. I fell into a much needed slumber. I dreamed about going to Danny's house alone. It was a cold November night and I had dressed in a beige sable coat with a furry buret. Alvin was out of town with his family and Kimberly was busy helping her mother decorate their house for a visitor. I was all alone walking to Danny's house. When I arrived I rung the doorbell. He looked through the peephole and asked who it was. I answered Deena and he opened the door."

"When I walked inside everything seemed normal. I walked to the livingroom and sat down on the couch. He told me there was soda and water in the refrigerator if I wanted any. I told him no thank you. The television wasn't on and he walked to his bedroom. I went to the bathroom down the hall. When I returned I saw he was sitting on the couch looking at television. He didn't say anything when I sat down next to him. There was some game show on. We just sat in silence the entire time. I looked at him and asked if he spoke with Kimberly or Alvin lately. He said no. He never took his eyes away from the television. I asked if he and his mother had patched things up. Instantly the atmosphere around us changed. Danny stood up and looked at me. He asked me why I would ask him that. Before I could form an answer he punched me to the ground. When I fell to the ground he straddled me and began hitting me in my face. I woke up screaming and drenched in sweat. I looked around in fear."

"When I felt safe enough I laid back down and went to sleep. The next day at breakfast my parents didn't notice the discoloration on my face. They just conversed with each other while my father read his morning paper. After breakfast I washed my dishes and headed to Kimberly's house. When I got there Kimberly was standing on the porch in a jersey, jeans and go go boots. She greeted me happily as she walked downstairs. I greeted her and she placed her hand on my forehead and asked if I was feeling okay. I told her I wasn't feeling too right and she asked me why. I told her about my nightmare with Danny. She said that Danny had a temper and that although they exchanged blows he wouldn't just beat on a female for asking a simple question. I wanted to believe Kimberly but my nightmare made it hard to. We walked to Alvin's to check on him. His fever had broken but his strep throat was still in full swing. His mother said she had given him some antibiotics an hour before we arrived and we went upstairs to see him."

"He was sound asleep. We did our usual routine and held his hands. We talked about what our plans for the day were going to be and some girly stuff. We stayed with Alvin for two hours. Before we left we kissed his forehead and headed downstairs and bid his mother farewell. We walked to Danny's house to see if he was home. He looked through the peephole and asked who it was. When I told him it was Kimberly and I he opened the door and let us in. We walked to the diningroom and sat down at the table. Danny asked us if we had any new material. We said no but we were in the works of a few songs. He said good and informed us that he had been working on a few songs himself. We sat around for an hour talking about random things like songs who we felt were promising stars. We then walked out back and began rehearsing. We rehearsed Danny's song Down played it in the low E major to accommodate my voice."

"We sang in close harmony. Kimberly sang lead while Danny, Alvin and I sang background vocals. This particular song was new for us. It was melancholy and not the usual dark toned stuff Danny wrote. It described a few hells Danny endured before meeting us. It was one of the few songs I wish we would've recorded. It was 1965 for Pete's sake, folk was out and rock and roll was in. We weren't famous but we sure sang like we were. We wanted to touch millions of lives with our music and felt our harmonies would do that whether it was knowingly or unknowingly. We sang a song written by Kimberly called Psychedelic Firefly. It described our individual psychedelic experience. It was recent but it was the perfect song to write for an experience. I also loved the song title. As we harmonized I was singing higher than I usually did. When we finished both Danny and Kimberly looked at me weirdly. I looked at them with curious looks and asked them if I did something wrong."

"They shook their heads no and Kimberly said she never heard me sound so hyped into a song before. I told them I liked the way Danny composed the music and that I felt the lyrics despite not remembering the event. We spent the next hour singing and we did take after take trying to reach Danny's perfection. That day I felt it was completely worth it because hearing how the music corresponded the lyrics were pure gold. We left Danny's house around three forty-five and walked to the hair salon. When we got there was a beautician I liked named Javier Drayton. He was a Latino of El Salvadorian decent. He was really inclined to the sixties and was keen on loved doing bumped flipped out hair. Kimberly liked a woman called Dakota Chaney who specialized in straightening and dying hair. We were there for three hours. When we finished they wrapped our hair. We walked home and realized it was far too late to see Alvin."

"Kimberly and I parted ways at my street and I walked down the sidewalk leading to my house. When I arrived home I saw my aunt Victoria sitting on the couch. She noticed me and gave me a hug. I hugged her back and asked her how she was doing. She said she was okay and asked what I did to my hair. I patted it slightly and told her Kimberly and I went to the hair salon. She then asked how my mother felt about and I said dejectedly that she didn't even care. Aunt Victoria then made a sad face and shook her head. She told me when she was growing up that if they even looked like they'd done something to their hair their parents would've beaten the living daylights out of them. I said that I guess my mother would let me do whatever I wanted even if killed me because she didn't want children. My aunt Victoria hugged me and told me that my mother wasn't the motherly type and it showed."

"She also said that my father wasn't any better. She said that when I was a baby I stayed with her for several months before my mother came and took me back. She said she thought it was dumb because she despised me so much she couldn't even look at me when I was born. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I wanted to tell my mother about herself but I knew I didn't have the courage to. I spent the rest of the day talking with my aunt until she left. When she was gone I went upstairs to my bathroom and took a bath. An hour later I wrote three songs called Hurt, Deceit and Unbelievable. At eight thirty I laid down and went to sleep. The next day I awoke made my bed and took a bath. After that I removed my scarf from my headed and went downstairs for breakfast. I made toast, jelly and eggs. I noticed my parents were gone so as usual I ate breakfast. I was sort of happy because I didn't want to see my mother whatsoever."

"I was still fuming internally over what I was told the previous night. I finished breakfast and walked to Alvin's. His brother Jason opened the door and insulted me by calling me skyscraper because of how tall I was. I stood at five foot three inches.I walked inside and was greeted by Alvin's mother Ingrid. She complimented my hair and said that Javier did a fantastic job. I told her thank you with a smile. She asked if I was hungry and told her no. She told me I could go upstairs to see Alvin. Same thing he was asleep. I smiled and walked into the room. I sat next to his bed and took his hand into mine. I told him that I gotten my hair done yesterday with Kimberly and that I wish he could see how I looked. I sat there and watched Alvin's chest rise and fall with every breath he took. It must've been misery for him just laying there not being able to do anything. I also knew Jason took full of advantage of Alvin's defenseless state and it made sick to stomach just thinking about it. I stayed with him for another hour and a half and left. I walked to Kimberly's street where I saw her walking to meet me."

"We hugged and greeted one another. We asked how each other slept and complimented each others hair. After visiting Alvin for sometime we walked to Danny's house. It looked like he had just mowed the lawn. Kimberly whistled and we walked in the gate and to the front door. Kimberly rung the doorbell. Danny asked who it was Kimberly answered that it was her and myself. He undid the lock and opened the door. He stood there shocked with a slight red tint on his face. He really liked Kimberly's new look and I could sense it. He stepped aside and let us in. We walked to the livingroom and sat down on the couch. Danny broke the silence by asking what made us change our looks. Kimberly said that we felt like it and plus the black hair she had wasn't doing it for her. We had this routine where every six months we'd dye or get our hair redid. It must've been worth something because Danny was blushing down to his feet. We walked to the backyard and practiced singing Flying Nightingale, Downward Spiral and Psychedelic Firefly."

"We sang Psychedelic Firefly first and gee willikers was I in my element You could see and feel the chemistry resonate between us and our voices as we sang. I was so engrossed in the song that I tried to do Kimberly's famous footwork dance the Peach Shuffle. I looked a mess but I didn't care I felt so intune with the song that the rhythm of my body didn't matter to me. Having fun was the most important thing to me. We practiced for two hours and took a break. Danny's neighbors never once complained. I guess we never had any loud racket and we did it when everybody was out and about. We started again at two thirty and sang until five thirty. We cleared our throats and drank three glasses of water each and went home."I was so stoked about singing I couldn't wait to come back the next day. Kimberly was happy to see me smiling and not fearful or reserved."

"I was surprised at myself actually because I never showed this much excitement especially around others. People usually made fun of me for it but my friends didn't and that made me smile. When I got home I went to my room and sat at my desk in thought. I didn't know what to write about. Tired of being cooped up in the house I changed into a bathing suit and dove into our backyard pool. It was very mentally refreshing for me. I thought about the psychedelic experience I had taken two months prior. It wasn't a guilt trip for me because all that really happened was I became calmer than usual which was unusual. I came up for air three minutes later. I combed my hair back with my hands and looked up at the white puffy clouds. Danny was definitely on my mind. Although my nightmare was over the reality was I too on edge. I didn't know how sensitive Danny was as far as his mother went. I didn't even want to mention his father and besides it wasn't any of my business. When Danny was ready he would tell us. I swam in the pool for the next hour."

"I got out dried off and went back in the house. I looked at television in my bedroom. There wasn't anything eye catching on so I turned it back off and sat at my desk. I pulled my sketchpad out and began drawing a picture of a boy waiting for a girls return. I didn't really have a central meaning of the picture I just felt like drawing something. I spent an hour and a half on it. When I finished I removed the erase marks and closed the booklet and placed it back in the drawer and went downstairs to prepare dinner. When I finished cooking I prepared I plate for my parents and myself. I ate dinner in silence and washed my plate afterward. I went upstairs to the bathroom and took a bath. I used that time to think about where we would be in three to five years. I was only nine years old at the time but hey it was nothing wrong with wondering and hoping for the best. After bathing I drained the water and got out of the tub. I dried myself off and dressed in a two piece pajama set. I walked to my room and got into bed and drifted off into a blissful and anticipating slumber. The next day I awoke with happiness for having been given another day of breath."

"I made my bed and went into the bathroom and did my morning routine. I came out and dressed. I went downstairs to the kitchen where I saw a note on the refrigerator. It read that my parents would be gone for a month to South Korea. I couldn't believe they would leave me alone for a such a long period of time. I sighed and shook my head. Their actions didn't shock me because it was usual but a month that was pushing it. The next thing I knew they probably would've left me home alone for a year. I made myself some toasted jelly and grits. After breakfast I walked to Danny's house where I saw Kimberly was already there. Danny grabbed his guitar and we headed to the livingroom. While we rehearsed Danny started feeling jokey. He laughed told Kimberly she sounded like a beached whale on the Jersey shore. Kimberly tackled him to the ground. I didn't break them up because that was something they needed, plus Danny's tongue was too sharp."

"After they brawled we headed to Alvin's house. Our hair was still looking groovy and well kept. We spent the rest of the day at Alvin's. It was well past eight thirty when we left. As we walked home Kimberly said that she hope Danny got the point. That next week Alvin recovered and we brought him to Danny's house as a surprise. We all knew Danny was happy to see Alvin but he didn't say anything. Instead he just stepped aside and let us in. We told Alvin the new material we had written and rehearsed. Alvin said while at his grandparents house he wrote a song called Priceless. We rehearsed and Danny tried to force Alvin into singing in his head voice and Kimberly told Danny he couldn't rush Alvin back to singing in his regular voice right away. He needed to take it easy so we all sang in our chest voices to make it easier for Alvin. After an hour we called it quits and sat around the house doing nothing. I wanted to make myself useful and asked Danny if he needed anything cleaned."

"He said he had done it earlier that morning. I exhaled heavily and walked to the kitchen. I went to the refrigerator and pulled out some thawed meat and started cooking. An hour later I was finished. I had made some cube steak, gravy and rice with cornbread and peas. I called everyone into the kitchen. Danny asked me why I cooked and I told him that I loved cooking and that I wanted to take an extra burden off his shoulders. He looked at me with a small smile. It was a commodity to see him smiling and I savored the moment like it was my last breath. We all ate and Alvin complimented my cooking. He said it tasted like a Georgia style dinner. I smiled and told him thank you. I added that I didn't think it would taste southern. Kimberly said that it tasted good and that southern food is the easiest to cook and also the unhealthiest. I knew full well that what Kimberly said was factual. Everything I cooked was baked. I didn't believe in frying and I didn't want my friends to get diabetes prematurely."

"Alvin patted his belly with a grin and asked if there was dessert. Danny said there was ice cream in the fridge. He made us each a bowl. I told Alvin I didn't want a lot so he gave me a fair amount. When he brought our bowls to the table I couldn't believe how much he had gotten for himself. Danny said told him to help himself because he wanted it gone anyway. After we finished cleaning the kitchen we headed to Jade Monopoly. It was only six thirty and there was still light out. When we got there Cody asked if we had school and I said yes but we wanted to hang outside before curfew. He smiled and asked us what we wanted. I ordered a iced tea, Kimberly ordered her usual Harley Coaster, Danny ordered a pineapple soda and Alvin ordered a strawberry soda. After writing down our orders we each placed five cents on the counter. He took it and went to the saw people coming in and they greeted us."

"We waved back and soon Cody came out with our orders. He placed them in front us and placed a straw in them as well. He struck up a conversation with Danny. I didn't pay any attention and looked out into the dinging area. Some comedian was onstage. He was doing some funny thing with his arms and I laughed so hard when I heard what he said. I was brought out of my laughter by Cody. He asked me if I was feeling okay and I said yes. He said okay and began tending to the downpour of newly flooding customers. I smiled and gave my attention back to the comedian onstage."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Black Wolf**

"I remember something life changing. It was early January of 1965 and we had just returned from Maryland. One of my regular customers just dropped me off. Before he let me out he planted a possessive kiss on my lips. Of course I was disgusted but it was my job to like it. My male clientele felt I belonged solely to them and no one else. After that he had given me something life changing. I got out of the car and walked home. When I got there I took a bath and went to bed. I awoke At ten that morning and took another bath and cleaned the house. At noon the gang came over. I let them in and brought them to the livingroom. I placed four sugar cubes on the table. Deena said that she was scared. I reassured her that LSD wasn't life threatening. Being the naive child I was I prone to telling whatever I was told to someone else. Deena wanting to try something different picked up the fourth cube."

"I showed them what to do and soon went on a psychedelic voyage. During my personal experience I hallucinated and walked to the backyard and dove in the pool. For the longest time I thought I was drowning. After fifteen minutes I got out of the pool and walked back inside the house. I sat down next to Alvin. I then started to see multiple colors. We sat around the entire time asking if we saw ghosts and adults in the house. Hours after the affects wore off we began to practice singing. We were completely out of wack for the first hour but got it right by the second hour. I told them that I hope we wouldn't become a drug band. Deena said that she would make sure we didn't. People who knew of Alvin's love of food could mix marijuana and get him mentally incapacitated. We wouldn't let that happen so that was our first and last psychedelic experience."

"On my eleventh birthday my friends came over and cooked me dinner and baked a cake. I didn't like expressing how I felt so I remained silent although Alvin swore he heard me say thank you. They spent the entire day with me. It made me feel for the first time like we were actually a family. I wouldn't tel this this for another four years however. In February we went on a field trip to a history museum. I wasn't really the school type so I just stood with my arms folded with a toothpick in my mouth. As Ms. Murphy explained whatever it was we were looking at my mind drifted off to other places. I remember one instance where I saw Alvin looking at me. I didn't know if he liked me or not and went to ask him. He looked shocked when I did and said no. He then said he knew how much I disliked gay people and that was a dumb thing to ask especially him. At the time I wasn't aware of Alvin's bisexuality so I just thought it was a normal stare."

"During our little talk I hear the class screaming and cheering. I look over and see Deena fighting one of our classmates. She was whopping her ass. To me it was one of the most iconic moments for Deena. She stood for herself for the very first time even thought it wasn't me. I could still remember Deena wearing a victorious smile. The following Monday we had to do a one page paper on what we found interesting in the museum. I wrote about the film industry in the 1930s. I got an eighty-seven on it and p. Like I said before I wasn't the school type but I did believe in striving for excellence. There were times I forged my mothers signature to make it appear as if she saw my report card or progress reports. We spent the entire month of February harmonizing. We had written some new material. I wrote a song called Downward Spiral, Kimberly wrote Psychedelic Firefly, Deena wrote Flying Nightingale and Alvin wrote Priceless. We didn't tell each other what each other had written because we wanted to surprise one another. March had arrived and everyone was talking about going away for spring break. The day before break at recess Alvin said he was going to Annapolis, Maryland to meet his paternal grandparents."

"I stated that while he was away Kimberly, Deena and myself were going to rehearse as if he were there. I said that I would sing his part. Alvin then suggested that I rearrange the voices. I said that I was already going to do that. Then he sarcastically asked if I was going to rearrange the voices why was I going to rehearse the song in his range. I told him to shut up and they all laughed. I just grunted and said whatever and looked off into the distance. Just as fast as the day started it ended and Alvin was on the road. It was me and the girls. That Monday we began harmonizing at eight in the morning. I was adamant about this. I didn't want Deena or Kimberly singing lead because I felt their voices weren't as strong as Alvin's. Because of that Kimberly and I verbally clashed. That Wednesday our arguing had come to a head. I had gotten in Kimberly's face and told her she sounded like a beached whale off the Atlantic Ocean."

"That broke it for her and she tackled me to the ground. We rolled around with me me having the advantage. Nonetheless she gained dominance and hit me in my ribcage and face. Deena didn't break it up for one reason. She felt that a brawl between us was very much needed. After that we worked out our kinks and the girls sang lead until Alvin returned. Upon his return the following Friday he was ill. I still pushed him to sing and Kimberly ate me up for it and told Alvin to take a rest. I was pissed because I thought we all wanted stardom. They then walked Alvin home. I stayed behind because I was in a stupid funk. I found later during the week that Alvin had strep throat and a fever. I didn't visit him at all because that was my way of not worrying and just being me. When Alvin got better I got him back to work. Kimberly told me I couldn't just force him to start singing right away. So as we sang Psychedelic Firefly in our chest voice Deena was loud and clear. I couldn't believe it."

"She was stealing the spotlight from our two lead vocalists. Although we were singing in close harmony she still outwitted us and took a big leap with her voice. After we finished we looked at her. She looked at us with a blush and asked if something was wrong. We just looked at her. It was the second time that happened. The first time was while Alvin was ill and it was just the three of us. This time she had more force behind her voice. It was still delicate and toasty but it had a different timbre than before. We practiced for an hour and called it a day to give Alvin's voice some time to return to normal. In June we traveled to Ella Mona to visit Mama Valery. I was devastated when I heard that her dementia had worsened. The doctors said she had a few months left at best. We all hoped she would live to see our stars rise. We sang for her and she just clapped along screaming out her deceased husbands name. From what Kimberly told us he always sang to her on dates and on her birthdays. I couldn't emulate the same voice he had but I just wanted to see her smile. We sang the four songs we wrote in February but Psychedelic Firefly was laced in subtext because we didn't want to tell anyone what we had done five months ago. We went to the streets and began singing. It was the same routine like in San Fran where people cursed us out, spat on us and it ended with a brawl."

"We sang from eight in the morning until eight at night. We were so dedicated to wanting to make it that that December I almost caught my death singing in the cold jacketless. We stayed in Ella Mona for a month and in July we returned to Kingsley. The following day we drove to San Francisco and sang on street corners. We wore outfits that represented us individually. Two people stopped and listened to us. In our group our voices were distinctive and powerful. Alvin and Kimberly were powerful on leading vocals while Deena was appreciated more on background vocals, or so I thought. Her leading vocals impressed me later on. Deena's contralto voice is what made our harmony unique. We returned to Kingsley that August and was stoked. We had gone two listeners. It was less than five but more than zero. We had a little celebration at my house. We turned on some music the others danced. I just stood leaned up against the wall bobbing my head to the rhythm."

"Kimberly grabbed my hand and tried to pull me into the middle of the livingroom to dance with her. I blushed but nonetheless had a groovy time dancing with her. We sat down after dancing for an hour to look at television where we saw the Cass Discovery was on. The host had just introduced an up and coming girl group. They had there here in banged flips with purple sparkly dresses.I promised my friends that in a few years that would be us up there. They looked at me smiling believing my word. I wasn't the most emotional person but I knew they valued my opinion a lot and they also knew I wouldn't lie to them. We watched the Cass Discovery for the next hour in silence. At eight thirty I walked my friends to the front door and bid them goodnight. After they left I walked to the corner to start my shift. I was tired of doing this in order to survive. I hoped that stardom would come soon. An hour later I was dropped off at the corner. I noticed two my clientele just did the deed and dropped me off."

"I started wondering if I was starting to become dry because if that was true I'd be out of work would and up shits creek. My next customer came and he drove me to his house. There was this new trick I learned and wanted to try it on him. As I worked my magic I saw his eyes roll in the back of his head and I smiled victoriously. I didn't think it would work since I was a just a child, but that proved that age didn't mean anything. He brought me home the next morning at six thirty. I walked home took a bath and got dressed. The next morning I awoke with a renewed spirit. It was a new school which meant new opportunities to be discovered. I grabbed my backpack and met up with my friends who were outside the gate in front of my house. We walked to school and Deena noticed that I smelled really good. I told her it was a new cologne that I had just bought recently. When we get to school we are stopped by a group of older kids."

"We looked at them with fierceness. They called themselves trying to intimidate us with their height but we didn't flinch once. The leader stepped forward and brought my night activities to the light. I believe in my heart that my friends hadn't said anything. I found out it was a girl in the school. I went to find her. When I did she was in the library. I gave her a piece of my mind. She thought I was wrong and told me that I should've been more discreet about my private life. I laughed and told her that she would grow up to be a cheap whore who would be a street walker. Kimberly and Deena stood at my side just in case she tried to hit me. The girl must've felt frightened because she looked Deena and Kimberly in the eye and walked off down the hall. We then walked to the cafeteria where we saw Alvin talking to a boy. It looked like they were discussing academics because I saw papers in both their hands. We walked to the breakfast line and grabbed a few things. When we got to the table Alvin joined us. He said that the boy he was talking to was new and was wondering if I could show him around.

"Deena looked in the direction of the boy and said he looked lonely and scared. Alvin then reigned Deena back into conversation by saying that he was from Louisiana and that things were completely different. I said that the south was behind industrially as well as educationally. Deena elaborated by saying that after the reconstruction era the American South was never the same. She said that they were stuck in their old ways and used to an agricultural way of life that industrialization of the early twentieth century destroyed their regional economy. We all looked at her with our eyes lowered. She said that it was in her contract as our friend to be herself and that she loved reciting historical facts. We sat in the cafeteria for another twenty minutes and the bell rang. We walked to our home rooms. Alvin, Kimberly and I were in the same homeroom. Deena on the other hand was by herself. I hoped she was okay because she wasn't a talker at all even around us. Our teacher handed us our schedule."

"I passed my schedule to Alvin and he looked at me smiling. We must've had some classes together. Kimberly passed her schedule to me as did Alvin. I compared there's and found that we had three classes together. It wasn't entirely the same but we got to be together for some time during the day. We sat in homeroom for thirty minutes and headed to our first period. I had reading. Alvin and Kimberly weren't with me and I didn't see Deena either. I walked into the classroom and took a seat. I saw Lucille Mortenson staring at me. She looked interested in me and mugged her. I just ignored her and sat down. The teacher came in and sat her desk. She looked old and decrepit but nice. She introduced herself as Ms. Brewer. The class greeted her in unison but I didn't. I felt that I shouldn't have to address her unless I was asking her a question. She placed worksheets on our desks. It was an all about me assignment".

"I didn't really want to talk about my personal life, I felt it was none of her business. I just wrote my name, my birthday, favorite color and my hobbies which was songwriting and singing. I decided to add some vibrancy by coloring around the outside of the paper. After that I put my crayons away in my backpack and put my head down and awaited further instruction. Ms. Brewer said that we had fifteen more minutes to finish the assignment. I kept my down until the timer rung and we started on another assignment. We did a warm up sponge consisting of mathematics, reading and science. Ms. Brewer was one to make sure we didn't lose ourselves over the summer break. I did the warm up sponge and put my head down. Ms. Brewer asked me to lift my head and I refused to. I wasn't a problematic child in school it just that I was always quiet and didn't want those kind around me. She didn't pressure me so I just kept it down. I thought it was backwards. I was used to doing the warm sponge first and then doing an assignment. Maybe her plan was to do this just for the first day and then the next day it would be normal."

"When she time was up I lifted my head and tore my warm up out of my notebook and placed near the end of the edge of my desk. Ms. Brewer came by and collected my warm up. I had my head down but I was alert of everything around me. We transitioned for the next four hours between mathematics, reading, science and history. I couldn't wait for it to all be over. When the bell rang for lunch I walked to the cafeteria. I knew it wasn't high school but I thought it was a good idea to get used to transitioning so when we get to high school we'll know what expect. Kimberly and Deena were talking about their first day. They greeted me as I sat down with my tray. I greeted them and told them my day was pretty okay. Kimberly looked at me shocked. I was confused and asked her what was wrong. She said that she usually sees me scowling. I told them that my classes were pretty boring."

"They all consisted of the same thing except different subjects." They laughed and Deena told me that's how the first day of school was supposed to be. Alvin soon joined us and said that the new boy sure adjusted quickly to the new environment. I sarcastically told him he may have done more than get him adjusted. Alvin looked at me and said that he had done nothing out of the ordinary. I smirked and started eating my food. Kimberly then started discussing the Vietnam War. She said that she was against for several reasons. The two that stood out the most to me were soldiers leaving their families and innocent people's lives been taken overseas. Alvin was completely silent on the subject and I was curious to know why. Deena said that what's done is done and that the government will forever go out of their way to instigate another country's affairs and play the neutral card like they always have. I couldn't help but agree. Normal kids were unaware of the governments affairs but the four of us knew more than what we saw on television."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**Flirty Al**

"I stayed bedridden for a week. On the days I did wake up my mother would give me iced cold water, ice cream and medication after eating. I couldn't move my entire body. I felt like a big bag of flour. During my dreamland visit I learned from my mother that Kimberly and Deena had visited me throughout the week. I had a strong feeling that Black Wolf didn't coming, but that was Danny. He never showed his emotions around others, not even us and we'd been friends for two years by 1965. I recovered by Saturday morning and dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. I felt so empty that I ate six blueberry pancakes with bacon and eggs. My mother noticed how hungry I was and told me not to eat so fast. I slowed down as she instructed. she laughed and said I'd been out for a week and was back with vengeance."

"I swallowed my food and smiled as well. After breakfast I helped my mother with the dishes and asked if she needed any money and she said that we were caught up financially. I walked for two blocks where I met up with Deena and Kimberly. I was amazed at their hairstyles. Kimberly had dyed her hair to a dark brown with platinum blond on the bottom. It curled like waterfalls and it became her. Deena had her hair bumped with a bang covering her left eye. Her hair made her look grand and flashier. I complimented them on their hair and they said thank you. We then walked to Danny's house. When we arrived Kimberly rang the doorbell. A few moments later we heard Danny asking for confirmation. Kimberly said it her and Deena with a surprise."

"When he opened the door there stood I stood in between our two female friends. I hugged Danny and for a moment I felt my body get hot and I backed away. I know I liked guys but I KNEW FOR SURE I didn't like Danny. We walked inside and headed to the diningroom. Danny told me the songs they rehearsed in my absence and I wanted to sing so we went to the backyard. When we got there we took our places. Danny came outside with electric guitar around his neck. He told us we were going to sing Psychedelic Firefly first. It was soft rock mixed with psychedelic. As we harmonized I heard everyone singing but I heard Deena's voice loud and clear. She was really into it and I enjoyed watching her smile and have a groovy time."

"After we finished singing Psychedelic we sang Downward Spiral. This one was more heavy lower toned and melancholic. Danny really knew how to arrange our voices and arrange the music accordingly. We finished practice off by singing Flying Nightingale. Afterward we all walked to Jade Monopoly. We headed to the bar area where we were greeted by Cody and vice versa. He was glad to see us altogether again. We sat down and ordered soft drinks. Cody said it was good to see the whole gang together and I said it sure as hell was good to be back after a week of agonizing pain. Cody laughed as we placed our nickels on the countertop. Cody took our tendered money and went to the kitchen and prepared our the meantime Deena told Danny that Kimberly had performed here a few weeks back."

"Danny looked hurt by the news. Kimberly told him that it was just her and Deena and plus I wanted to entertain an audience. Danny nodded his head in understanding. For a second I could've sworn I saw tears in Danny's eyes as Kimberly told him this. I guess he felt since we were a team she should've told him about it and we could've performed together when Alvin recovered. A few moments later Cody came out with our drinks and placed them in front of us. Cody said that Kimberly blew the roof off the place when she sang here. Alvin chuckle and Kimberly's face turned a bright shade of pink at Cody statement. She said that she didn't think it was all that great but she reiterated that she had a good time. We drank our soda's and played pool for the next hour and a half. April came around and we realized there was a month left of school. We had planned on going to Maryland that summer."

"Danny wanted to see Mama Valery because he claimed she "_**gave him a reason to keep singing**_." We spent the entire month singing new material for the summer. In June we traveled to Ella Mona and sure enough Mama Valery's dementia worsened. We went to the streets with our talent and it was the same as before the cursing, the spitting and the brawling. We persevered and kept on singing anyway. We sang for Mama Valery for breakfast and dinner. We were out singing on the streets during lunch hour and Carol brought us lunch from Mama Valery's house. We stayed there the entire month of June. The following month we commuted from Kingsley to San Francisco. We sang on street corners everyday for the entire month but no avail. There were days I wanted to faint and others I wanted to stay inside. But I knew I wasn't the only one who wanted this and it would've been selfish of me to think otherwise."

"In August we returned to school where nothing really changed except we weren't sitting in one class all day. We did our usual assignments. I helped a new student that hailed from Louisiana get around school. By lunchtime he had knew where everything was. September was one of my favorite months of the year because it fall and the leaves changed colors. I loved watching them fall to the ground. My mother and I would sit out on the porch looking at them together. My brother Jason was still up to no good. He was having sex with girls. As for my friends and I we gathered at Danny's house and rehearsed new material. We did that for the remainder of 1965. We traveled to Maryland for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We went to San Francisco the last week of December. It was very groovy and fun."

"Two years had gone by and nothing changed except my romantic life. I was dating a guy from Baltimore named Ryan Milstead. He was very distant towards me. I tried my hardest to make him smile but to no avail. It wasn't until November 1966 that it happened. We danced at a concert together and it I felt we were the only thing that mattered. 1967 was when things started to get crazy. For me personally I was dealing with Jason's bullshit and moms stress started worsening. Her doctor prescribed her some stress medication. I was twelve at the time so if she had to check into a rehab center I was capable of taking care of myself. During this time Jason had a pregnancy scare. It made me happy internally mainly because he was fifteen and wasn't able to support the infant or the mother. When our mother found out what he had done she beat the living day lights out of him and told him that she wasn't about to take care of anymore children."

"He told her she was wrong because she was his mother and it was her job to care for any children he had. She told him the exact opposite of what he just spouted. I just looked on shaking my head. He knew just as well as I that he couldn't take care of the child if it was born. Even the mother wouldn't be able to take care of the it. I don't think her parents were pleased either. Around that time Deena informed me that her parents were trying their hardest to send her to a group home because they felt she was depriving them of their lives. Deena was so emotionally damaged that she didn't go home. Instead she stayed with Danny. I couldn't believe her parents were treating her like that and to make things worse there wasn't anything we could do for her. Thankfully there actions were denied because Deena wasn't being abused and there house was spic and span. Also her parents made a hefty annual income to support her"

"I hoped my mother was alright. That night I packed a suitcase and headed to Deena's house. I stayed there for three days. During my stay I slept in the guestroom. It smelt of roses and cinnamon which I liked and adored. In March we were given another group project. As usual my friends and I partnered up. We took on our usual roles. One thing was different though, Danny was very touchy with Kimberly. She would politely remove his hand. I could tell she didn't like him that way. I sometimes wondered if Danny knew or tried until he cracked her. A week after we presented our project I was walking down the hallway and I saw Deena running down the hallway crying. An angry Kimberly followed swiftly behind her. I didn't ask either of them anything and went to stand next to Danny. I had asked him what was going on. He sighed and said he kissed Kimberly and Deena saw. My face went from confused to shocked in a millisecond."

"I asked him if he knew that she didn't like him like that and he said he wasn't sure. I knew Kimberly's actions spoke very loudly. When Kimberly returned she punched Danny and said that thanks to him him she lost her best friend. That's when I realized Deena was in love with Danny. I don't know if Danny was aware of that or not and I didn't want to out Deena so I played it cool. Due to the three of them not talking for the next month we didn't rehearse at all. Instead Deena would send Kimberly nasty looks and Kimberly wore a neutral expression. She couldn't even look Danny in the face. I personally thought it was quite foolish of Deena to get mad at Danny. They weren't dating and even if they were Kimberly would have never tried to steal Danny away from her. The first week of May Deena and Kimberly made up and Danny was dating Lucille Mortenson the captain of the cheerleading squad. we had final exams and an end of the year dance."

"That second week Kimberly and Lucille fought across the street. Lucille said that if she won Kimberly would have to pay her twenty dollars. Kimberly said if she won she won and if she lost she lost. Kimberly held her own against her but ended up losing. She paid Lucille her twenty dollars. But what Kimberly didn't agree with was Lucille telling people she knocked her out with one blow to the temple. Kimberly was upset but didn't request a rematch. She believed she won some and lost some. She was satisfied with the results because she said it kept her grounded. I was worrying about my mother because she was still in the rehabilitation clinic. I didn't want to go to the dance knowing she was there. It would make me feel guilty but I went nonetheless because she would've wanted me to have a good time. At the dance I wore a gray suit. Kimberly wore a peach dress, Deena wore a teal and purple long sleeve and Danny wore a suit jacket and jeans. When the four of us came into the school Lucille took Danny by his arm and they walked to the auditorium together. Kimberly took her hand we walked to the auditorium together. When we got there Lucille kissing all on Danny. It was very un-ladylike and disrespectful. She wanted the entire school to see who was on her arm.

"I think the biggest pleasure she got out of it was that Kimberly wasn't with him. I think Lucille knew just as well as everyone else that Kimberly didn't like him that and she voiced it several times. Deena and I danced with each other. While we danced I saw Kimberly dancing with the star quarterback of our school football team Gary Rathbone. I thought it was strange for Kimberly to get with a jock but maybe she saw something in him we didn't. The dance ended and school was out for summer break. Danny was still prostituting himself to survive. By this time his clientele expanded and he gained some female customers. But nonetheless the bulk of his income came from his male clients. He told me he made enough to last him for the month and that was it. He said he wanted to live where he wouldn't have to worry about finances and said that's why we were working our asses off to make it big."

"Kimberly told him that eventually his prostituting days would be over and his musical talent would bring him comfort. We continued writing new material and we traveled Ella Mona before the Summer Of Love on June 13. Mama Valery had lost a considerable amount of weight. I remember Carol looking like she had saw death itself. On June 16 we sang Flying Nightingale for her. I remember she was smiling like she always did. She died that evening in her favorite nightgown and recliner. Kimberly's uncle Albert and aunt La'Donna were there with their sister Carol. They were by her side. Her last words were that she wanted us to perform at her funeral and for Carol, Albert and La'Donna to execute her estate accordingly. Danny, Deena and I were crying. Danny took her hand and he was crying. I think he may had seen death more than Deena and I. I 'd been to funerals but I was an infant so those don't count."

"That was something I got to experience first hand. She was a sweet woman with a wise mind. She raised her children to the best of her abilities with her husband and she was able to die in a place she felt comfortable surrounded by loved ones. The following week in Grey Forest, California we attended her funeral. La'Donna had eulogized her and my friends and I had collaborated and wrote a song called You've Won. None of us were churchgoers and we didn't want to sing it in the gospel genre either, so we sang it in our usual psychedelic form. People were in tears because Danny did the honors. The way my voice sounded it wasn't fit for a home going song. Kimberly was too depressed to sing and Deena felt it was a family matter and didn't want to invade. Also Danny had one of the most emotional voices in our group. We also felt he would be able to connect to the song."

"When the funeral was over Danny and I consoled Carol and two of her siblings. helped the pallbearers carry Mama Valery's casket to the hearse. Afterward we waited a few minutes for Carol. When she came out we drove to the cemetery. It wasn't a long procession. She was buried next to her husband. Kimberly's other aunts and uncle didn't show up. How could you not say goodbye to the person who birthed and cared for you? It really blew my mind and pissed me off. As we were getting into Carol's car Kimberly said she wasn't surprised they didn't show up. She said that what they would come for though was the inheritance. I was sure Carol, La'Donna and Albert would handle Mama Valery's estate professionally without bickering with their siblings. We rode back to Kingsley and sat around on our hands. We all were too depressed to talk or even sing. We spent the entire day comforting each other. The following week we were sort of back to normal and we sang some new material that we had all written. Kimberly and I took the lead on all the songs. We made a rule that we would never sing covers or standards."

"We felt more authentic if we had sang original material. We practiced all day with a few breaks and dinner. At nine o'clock we walked home and said our goodbyes to Danny. When I got home I asked mother if she was feeling okay. She said that she was fine and that she just needed some rest. I helped her to her bedroom and laid her in bed. After I tucked her in I asked her if she needed anything. She smiled and said no thank you. I kissed her goodnight and walked to my bedroom. Mother was tired and dinner was already prepared. I took a shower and came down and fixed myself a plate. As my food was warming up in the microwave Jason walks into the kitchen. He pushed me aside and asked me what I was cooking. I pushed him back with more force and said that I was warming up dinner that mother had made earlier."

"He chuckled and walked to his room. I just ignored him and got my plate from the microwave. I walked to the table and sat down. I blessed my food and began eating. I thought about the two previous weeks events. Mama Valery died and we went to her funeral the next week. I don't think I'd be able to piece myself back together especially if she died while I was twelve. I cleared my mind of the negativity and thought about positive things. We still weren't famous yet but it felt wonderful just thinking about if we were. I finished my dinner and washed my plate and glass. Afterward I headed upstairs to my room. I wrote some new songs and went to bed at ten thirty. The next day we sang our new material and Kimberly had an emotional breakdown. It had been two weeks since Mama Valery died but to Kimberly it was as if she died just yesterday. She dropped to her knees and began weeping. For the first time Danny took the initiative and knelt down next to Kimberly and comforted her.

"She wrapped her arms around him and cried. Although he was caressing her back soothingly I saw a tint of red showing on his face. I knew he liked her but I also knew that she didn't feel the same. After Kimberly recovered and felt well enough to continue we resumed singing. Deena had a more motherly sound to her voice that day. It was almost like she could feel what Kimberly was feeling through her voice. While she was singing Deena placed her hand on her chest and dropped to her knees. Her breath became short and she fell back into the couch. We all became panicky and wondered what to do. She managed to tell us she was okay and reached into her pocket and pulled out a bottle. She popped it open and poured a pill in her hand. She opened her waterbottle and took a sip. She put the pill in her mouth and swallowed it. We all surrounded her and asked if she was okay. She said that she was fine and took a deep and much needed breath."

"I asked her if she had something wrong with her and she said she was born with a heart disease but she would be okay. She elaborated that whenever she overexerted herself or her blood pressure would rise up her heart would beat fast. Danny asked if the disease was hereditary. Deena looked at him smiling and said no. She said she was the first in her family contract it and that her parents told her it would be the death of her. I chuckled and said that whether or not it would her parents should pay more attention to her. She said that it would never happen because she said her parents told her if she was smart she'd keep singing get herself some medication for her disease. Kimberly said that she was going to give Deena's parents a piece of her mind. I agreed with Kimberly. Her parents needed a dose of their own medicine. Deena was their only child and they were depriving themselves of the experience of raising a child because of their selfishness and bitterness. Deena seemed fine with it because she felt that it was their loss not hers."

"She also said once she attained stardom she would sever her ties with them. Kimberly hugged her and told her everything was going to be okay. She hugged her back and we sat around for an hour and forty-five minutes. When Deena felt okay we started rehearsing again. I felt that even though she was going through what she was going through Deena still should've spoken up and stood up to her parents. It wasn't my place to say anything so I didn't bring up the subject again. Rehearsal was the same nothing new except Deena hit a note that she couldn't before and she felt elated about it. After finishing rehearsal we went to town for the annual Kingsley Emancipation Parade. Although we weren't born felt as if we were because we had lived here since we were younger. As we walked down the sidewalk people looked at us strangely. They didn't want us there because we weren't natives to the state. I didn't care and neither did my friends."

"We wanted to see the parade like we did every year so we weren't going to let a few dumb people deter us from seeing it again. When we got there we saw floats and they were adorned with statues. As each float passed they described its history in briefness. As we were there I noticed Danny staring at Kimberly and Deena looking at Danny. Now we were twelve and thirteen at the time and your feelings are usually in full swing by that age. We stood side by side watching the floats pass by. The parade ended around noon and we headed to Jade Monopoly. We were finally of age to go in, although we were already coming here as middle aged children in the early sixties."

"Cody greeted us and he must have had us memorized because he already knew what to get us. We placed our nickels on the counter and he collected them and went back to the kitchen. By this time Barry and I had broken up but remained good friends. We had too many differences and it made our relationship unworkable. Barry had come in a few minutes later and ordered a iced cola. I greeted him and gave him a hug. Deena was surprised that we didn't work out. I told her we were better off as friends. She looked at Barry smiling and he smiled back. Kimberly had asked Cody if he attended the parade and he said no because he didn't particularly care for them or the city of Kingsley.

"I couldn't agree more. I liked California but I didn't particularly care for Kingsley. I mean it gave my mom a chance to get herself back on her feet financially but the city was to uppity for my liking. I don't think mother liked it either but she had to make do in order to support us. The only attraction that I liked in Kingsley was the Jade Monopoly teen club and the dock. Other than those things Kingsley was exorbitant for no reason at all. I guess the people who lived here believed that if you decide to move here you better be ready to pay for high end property regardless of your financial situation. Mother told me that back in the fifties Kingsley was way cheaper and affordable. I guess with the war it caused things to inflate quickly and drove residences away. New York was expensive but we made it. We were dirt poor. We never owned a house we always lived in apartments or rented houses. It made my mother feel bad that we couldn't own any real estate. I knew sooner or later things would change for us we just had to wait for the right moment."

"I was so induced into my own thoughts that I didn't hear Danny calling out to me or Cody placing my soda in front of me. I looked at Danny and he asked me if I had any oppositions about singing off electric guitar. I told him no as I took a sip of my soda. I sat in mental seclusion thinking about where I would be in the next two to three years. I was just a teenager but I also knew that adulthood was right around the corner and I would have to figure out a plan for survival and I knew mother nor Jason wouldn't be there to pay my bills. After sitting in Jade Monopoly for an hour I said goodbye to Cody and my friends. I walked down to the dock alone. It was the perfect place for me to clear my eventful had happened until the end of the year. That December Deena's aunt Victoria died. Deena was completely devastated and broke down. I never saw her like that before. "

"Kimberly and I didn't attend the memorial service, but what we were told by Danny shocked Kimberly and I. He said he comforted Deena at her house following the service. This was a rare gem moment for Danny. Him comforting someone was something I wish I would've witnessed. Now I'm not saying he was lying but he just seemed like the unemotional type of guy. He said that she cried for most of the day and he held her tightly in his arms shushing her breathlessly. I was really proud of him for stepping up and taking care of a friend in need. On that day I was really proud to be Lone Wolf."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Peach Bauer**

"1967 was a bittersweet year for me, but hey life goes on. We started the year off by singing newly written material. We were going to see my grandmother that summer and we couldn't wait. She was the second most important woman in my life after my mother. School wasn't anything new except this girl who had heard that Danny was prostituting himself. When he went to confront her Deena and I went with him just in case she tried to hit him. She must have felt intimidated because when she saw Deena and I on either side of Danny she walked off. I wasn't arrogant but I damn sure wasn't about to let a girl lay her hands on Danny for putting her in her place. I also dyed the bottom half of my hair back to a platinum blond while keeping my copper red hair at the top. Deena and I felt like queens every time we had gotten our hair done together."

"We had gotten another group project for the first time in four years that March. As usual my friends and I teamed up for it. I didn't trust anyone else and neither did they. We started the project that following Monday and finished that Friday. Danny was the orator, I was the demonstrator, Alvin held the poster board and Deena was the recorder. It was like clockwork except we weren't dealing with science it was a math project. I don't know where the hell our teacher came up with the idea for a math project but I thought it was bogus. I couldn't stand math but I knew that if I wanted to advance to the next grade I had to do it. Plus there was only two months of school left and we'd be scotch free for three months."

"During the week of our project I would catch Danny stealing glances at me. I knew for a while that he liked me and for the next three weeks he'd do things like give me flowers and write me songs. Three weeks later he suddenly kissed me and I pushed him off. When we parted I saw Deena and I saw the hurt in her eyes. She ran off to the girls bathroom and I punched Danny in his face for kissing me and ran after Deena. Alvin was coming down the hallway. He looked at me with an understanding expression and shook his head at Danny. I don't know if they spoke to each other and that wasn't a main concern of mine at the moment. I was determined to win my best friend back. When I got to the girls bathroom I tried to talk to Deena. She yelled and asked how could I take the man she loved."

"I told her I didn't like him that and she screamed and called me a liar. I left the bathroom to find Danny. When I found him I gave him a piece of my mind. I told him that I didn't like him like that. I also told him that thanks to him I lost my best friend. He said that it wasn't his fault and that I should've been more straightforward. As I prepared to punch him again Alvin grabbed my arm. I jerked away and walked off. I couldn't believe how much of an asshole Danny was being. When school let out I headed straight home. I didn't want to see anyone. I couldn't punch the walls so I just screamed. My mom had come to my room and asked me if I was okay. I told her that when I calmed down I would talk about it. She understood and left me alone. I wanted to cave Danny's face in. How could he just kiss me like that."

"A few days later I explained everything to my mother. She said it sounded like her sisters Ellen and Holly. I believed that deep down he knew I didn't like him but yet and still he made advances on me. I was one of those straightforward teenage who detested subtleness and sugar coding. I hadn't seen Danny for almost a month which meant we couldn't rehearse. Deena still wasn't talking to me and I'd be lying if I told you I didn't care. But at the same time it wasn't like I didn't try explaining myself. In early April during lunch the captain of the cheerleading squad Lucille Mortenson approached Danny in the cafeteria and asked him out. He looked in my direction as if he be hurting me by going out with her. He said whatever and they kissed. I saw Deena approaching my table. I closed my notebook and watched her sit down."

"I gave her my undivided attention. I apologized and she apologized too. She continued on by saying it was stupid of her to get mad at me over a guy that wasn't hers. We laughed and soon Alvin was sitting at the table with us. He asked if I patched things up with Danny and I told him no. As lunch ended I saw Lucille on Danny's arm. She looked at me with a bitchy smile like I was supposed to be jealous. I just looked at her blankly and kept moving. Danny was one of popular the guys. Sure enough he didn't care about popularity. He thought it was dumb because after high school people forgot about you. Alvin was popular too but for a different reason. Alvin was known for his candidness of his biraciality."

"It was the sixties and at that time biraciality wasn't socially acceptable. Alvin was treated harshly by students and the staff. He did however stand up for himself which angered them. I found it quite idiotic. How are you the ones causing him trouble and get pissed off when he defends himself. I just shook my head. I wasn't safe from the fire either. People made fun of me for my weight. The fifties were over and the sixties were in. It was a radical and interesting era and I loved it. Despite the changes we experienced it was still socially unacceptable to be different. You had to be thin, blond and blue eyed which I wasn't. As I mentioned early on in the story I was born with a predisposed genetic trait that made me susceptible to significant weight gain. Despite that I managed to turn my fat into solidity and maintained my plump and curvaceous physique. I remember around the middle of April I was walking to the office when a girl made a sly comment about my weight."

"I ignored her until she pushed me to the ground. I got to my feet and put up my dukes. I wasn't about to let her get away with that. She was a Caucasian girl who wore beehives and tight dresses. I big faced her into one of the lockers and began beating her down. When I finished three minutes later I resumed my trek to the office. When I got there I had no cuts or bruises on my face and I wasn't about to tell what happened because it was already taken care of. The school secretary asked me if my shot record was up to date and I told her yes ma'am and had me go to the backroom. She checked my weight and vision. She laughed when she read off my weight. I laughed and told her I was pleased with who I was."

"I concluded that she could laugh all she wanted because deep down she probably was unhappy with herself. Her laughing ceased and she checked my blood pressure. When she was finished she wrote me a pass to return to class. I knew that would silence her. When I returned to class they were discussing convection and conduction. We had touched on this in elementary so this lesson was sort of a review for me. I jotted what I felt I needed to know and looked out the window. I saw the weather looked overcast. I didn't want to be outside and that day so I spent it indoors writing songs. As I was writing my bedroom telephone rang. When I answered it was Danny on the other end. He apologized for kissing me."

"I forgave him and told him that if he did it again he wouldn't live to see the light of another day. After we patched things up he told me that Lucille thought I was jealous of her. I laughed hysterically for a few seconds. After I calmed down I asked him what made her think that. He said that she told him that she saw the way I was looking at them during lunch. I told him that he was the one looking in my direction like he was going to hurt me for dating her, and said that maybe that was why she thought that. He said nonetheless he was happy and didn't want to deny him that in any way. I knew what kind of girl Lucille Mortenson was. She was the typical cheerleader who wanted to get a quickie out of him and tell her cunt friends about it. I told him to be careful. He took my caution but wanted to find out how devious Lucille really was."

"May arrived and all of the seventh grade classes were orchestrating an end of the year school dance while simultaneously studying for exams. The theme ended up being 1920s Paris. I had the perfect dress to wear. It was a long peach tented dress with rhinestones adorning the chest area. Deena called me that night and asked if I wanted to go. I told I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. But after thinking on it for several minutes I told her I didn't wan to be in the house so I said yes I would go. I had told her last month that Danny and I patched things up and she was happy. She told me she was going to confess her feelings for him soon. I told her that at the current moment it wouldn't have been right because he was dating Lucille. She said she would wait until Danny was single."

"I was so proud of her because she was finally growing the courage to speak what was on her heart. We talked for the next hour about hairstyles and dresses we thought about wearing. We hung up fifteen minutes after nine. I showered and got into bed. When I arrived at the school gates the following day Lucille stopped in front of me. I asked her to step aside and she leaned forward and whispered in my ear that she and Danny were getting serious. I told her I didn't care and that Danny wasn't the type to get attached so be prepared for disappointment. She laughed and told me I was jealous that she was dating one of the most attractive boys in the school. I told her that Danny and I's friendship is older and stronger than her expired vagina and walked passed her. I caught up with Deena and we walked inside the school." 

"When we got inside we walked to the cafeteria where we saw Alvin sitting alone. Deena and I walked to the table and sat down. He looked depressed and I asked him if he was okay. When our eyes met his eyes weren't there usual sea green. They looked devoid of any emotion. He said that his mother was in the hospital. Deena soon entered mother mode and asked if he wanted to stay with her until she returned home. He smiled halfheartedly and accepted her offer. To Alvin being with friends beat the hell out of being with Jason. I couldn't have agreed with him more. Jason was the definition of an asshole and douche bag. I wanted to kick his ass every time I saw him. I know siblings don't get along all the time but that was just ridiculous. Moments later Danny came and sat down with us. We all greeted him and vice versa. He said he was doing fine and asked me if I had exchanged words with Lucille. I told him I did and that if she would've kept walking she wouldn't have got her feelings hurt."

"I was all for respecting people but I wasn't going to respect you if you didn't respect me, even if you were dating one of my friends. He told me to be nice. I told him I'd deal with her by not dealing with her. Danny asked if Alvin was okay and he said that Deena and I made him feel better. Danny didn't pry and just accepted what Alvin told him. The bell rang and we all headed to class. On the way to the classroom Lucille in front of us and stared us all down. She told us it was their time to be together. I told her to fuck off and go get educated. She snorted and kissed Danny goodbye. We then resumed to class and Danny asked why I hated her so much. I told him I didn't hate her I just didn't like her personality and that she was the worst news there was at Amory Vineyard Middle School."

"When we made it to class people were talking about Lucille and Danny's getting together. I was no saint but I refrained from all the gossip the students tried to mix me into. All my mind was focused on was summer break. The dance was less than a week away and I was worried about Alvin. I don't know if he wanted to go especially with everything that was going on in his personal life. I would ask him when we transitioned to our next class. Reading was my first class of the morning. The teacher Ms. Langston was very adamant about grammar and our speech. She always corrected when we spoke in slang. But I praised the word groovy because that's exactly what everything to me was, even when things weren't looking bright. I always stayed optimistic which often clashed with Danny's emotional and dark personality."

"When Reading ended I went to my locker and grabbed my mathematics book. Math was my weakest subject. No matter how hard I studied I just couldn't grasp it. My mother was the same way in school. I would remember it long enough to barely pass my tests. When I got to my locker I saw Alvin standing there. I asked him how he was feeling and he said he was fine. I told him that was good and asked him if he was going to the dance. He said he was and that his mother wouldn't want him to miss out on a good time because of her. He said even though he was going he would feel guilty in the end because he wasn't there sitting at his mothers bedside. I told him she would be fine and that the night of the dance would be his night to have a groovy time. He hugged me and we walked to math class. When we arrived we sat next to each other on the third row. Alvin leaned over and asked if I heard about Danny and Lucille. I told him yes and it was sickening hearing it."

"Everybody expected me to be giddy about it but I wasn't. When your in a relationship the person your friend is dating should respect and appreciate their significant others friends. In this case Lucille hadn't put her hands on me but I still socked her when she got in my personal space which was all the time. But other than that if Danny liked it I loved it. I wasn't about to tell him what he should or shouldn't do. He was his own person and was allowed to make his own decisions. I could advise him and he could do with it what he wanted after that. What he liked at the time was Lucille and I wasn't going to try and tear him away from his emotions because of gossip or perceived jealousy. I told Alvin that whatever he did to stay away from those gossipy girls, they adored him too and he was a second choice after Danny."

"Our math teacher Ms. Turner came eating something out of a plastic container. I didn't care what was inside it I just wanted the period to pass by quickly. She started off by saying good morning and she wanted to congratulate us finishing off the year in her good graces, despite some of the students who gave her hell during the first semester. We laughed at what she said because it sounded dramatic. We then began doing a final exam review. Finals were Friday and I managed to look over my notes for the past week. Ms. Turner had told us two weeks before April ended that our final exam would be the first Friday of May. Since I knew I had time to prepare I studied. I hoped I remember enough to get my by."

"Deena tutored me before we had our falling out. During our time away from each other I studied alone. Alvin wasn't a math wiz and I didn't being with Danny alone because he may have tried more than kissing. It had been a month since then and I felt strongly about not apologizing. He may have been aware or unaware of Deena's feelings for him but he knew one hundred percent that I was on the market. I wasn't dating anyone and I told every boy who tried to date me that. Girls were shocked when they saw boys talking to me. I guess they thought they felt sorry for me but that wasn't the case. They thought I was beautiful and wanted to court me but I just wasn't interested. I had a boyfriend back in early 1966 but I never brought him around my friends because I knew Alvin and Danny would try to embarrass me for different reasons. Danny in a jerky way and Alvin in a friendly way." 

"Knowing that I made a mental note to myself never to bring future boyfriends around. Ms. Turner walked through each row and placed a packet on our desks. She told us this was twenty-five percent of our final exam. If we didn't do it and we failed our exam we would be in hell and hot water for the summertime. I made sure I did my review and passed it. We only had forty-five minutes so I managed to complete the first four pages. I executed the best way I remember how. Some I just guessed and circled what I believed was the correct answer. I hoped with all my heart and soul that my guessing would pay off. When the bell rang I placed my packet in my backpack and headed to Social Studies. When I got there I saw Lucille surrounded by a group of three girls. She looked at me and smirked."

"I knew she was gossiping about me. I just ignored her and walked to a random desk and sat down. As I got my supplies out for class one of Lucille's followers approached my desk. I placed my hands on the wooden hard surface and pushed myself up. I looked at her with venom in my eyes. I don't know what she wanted and didn't want to know. She said to watch my back. I told her that they better watch there's and to stay away from me. The girl smirked and walked off. I sat back and down and Lucille looked back at me. She had an agenda but I was smart. I wasn't going to let her execute it whatsoever. Mr. Jones came in and greeted us and followed up and told everyone to take their seats. Conversations ceased and we began our final exam review. My body was there but my mind was on other things."

"I thought about Danny. He was still my best friend but I couldn't sweep that under the rug. I had to talk to him about it. Danny was all about forget and move on. I believed in talking about so it wouldn't torture me internally. When Mr. Jones asked me what we were talking about I was able to regurgitate what he just said. I hated when teachers tried to make examples out students especially me. I then glanced out of the window. I thought about what I wanted to say to Danny. I wanted him to apologize to me and I would apologize for punching him. Although I felt like I shouldn't apologize at all seeing how he was the one kissed me. I didn't give any hints that I wanted him to kiss me. I guess since we'd been around each other since we were younger Danny had grown accustomed to my company and vice versa. Even though that's true I never developed any romantic feelings towards him."

"Now don't get me wrong last year I thought about what it would be like dating Danny. He wasn't a total asshole, but then again I never saw his soft side until recently. After I got over it I knew we wouldn't work out because we're too similar. I wouldn't wan to date myself. Its okay to have some things in common but too much in common is almost creepy and weird. He needed someone that was the complete opposite of him and Deena fit the bill. She was kind, down to earth, logical, insightful, friendly, non-temperamental and open. Knowing Danny he would reject her the worst way possible and she'd never recover from it. If that happened Alvin and I would've been there. Deena needed someone who understood her mentally and emotionally. Danny was emotional but his mental wall blocked others from letting others in."

"When school ended I walked to my locker and put my textbook away. As I felt someone behind him. Someone pushed me to the ground. I smiled and got back up. I turned around where I saw Lucille and her clique standing behind me. Lucille was smiling and so were her friends. Deena was soon standing at my side. Lucille laughed and taunted Deena. She looked at me with a supportive and motherly smile and looked back at Lucille. I told her she had made a costly mistake by pushing in cowardice. Lucille retorted that I was the coward and that I was too chicken to tell Danny how I felt. I told her I didn't like him that way and that's how how it was going to stay. One of the girls cackled and said I couldn't get it to work even if I had a matchmaker. I told her that she, her friend and Lucille weren't shit. The second girl stepped forward cracking her knuckles smiling."

"I pulled my hair into bun and told Lucille to meet me in the convenient store across the street in ten minutes. Lucille said she'd be there. The crowd around us made taunting sounds and Deena and I left the school. When we crossed the street I placed my backpack on the ice freezer outside out the store. Deena said I had nothing to prove and I told her that Lucille was getting away with too much stuff and needed to get knocked down a peg. As I glanced at my watch I saw kids from the school starting to flood the parking lot. I didn't want an audience and I didn't need one. But I was sure Lucille put money on our fight. When the time came I saw Lucille and her goons enter the parking lot. Lucille wore a smug smile as she approached me. I got up and walked towards her. When we were face to face kids started to surround us."

"I told her if I win I win and if I lose I lose. Lucille said that if she won I owed her twenty dollars. I agreed and the fight began. I put my dukes up and she tried to grab my hair. I swung and punched her in her face. She quickly brought her head back and put her dukes up. I began to bob and weave ducking her punches. As time progressed I grew tired and rugged. Lucille quickly gained the upper hand and tackled me to the ground. She straddled me and began punching me in my face repeatedly. By the the fourth strike I was dazed. The next thing I saw was black. I was out cold and that I lost the fight. When came to I was propped up against the wall outside the store with my friends surrounding me. Deena nursing my blooded mouth and Alvin was smiling at me. He congratulated me and said I still kicked her ass."

"I laughed and thanked him. Danny said that I was courageous and he was proud of me for holding my own. We then walked home and got some rest. That Saturday I showered and got dressed. I put on my peach dress and some eyeliner. I put on some peach eye shadow and walked downstairs. My mother clasped her hands together and almost cried. I told her it wasn't promenade and she said that she knew and said that I looked beautiful. She grabbed her keys and we picked up Deena, Alvin and Danny. During the car ride we were silent. When we got to the school my mother said she'd be back when the dance ended to pick us up. I said okay and we headed inside. Before we reached the auditorium we saw Lucille and her group."

"She walked up to Danny and latched onto his arm and walked off. Deena wasn't because she knew she wasn't dating him. I took her hand and the three of us walked to the auditorium. When we got there we saw Lucille kissing all up on Danny. It was completely unclassy and Lucille only lusted after Danny. I don't know if he was aware of sexual intentions or not but she sure had a good way of hiding it. When people saw us come onto the dance floor people started to surround me and congratulate on my battle. I didn't win the fight but in there eyes I was the victor because I didn't back down from my opponent. Lucille looked on in anger. I smiled at her because for the first time ever the attention wasn't on her. After my little fifteen seconds of fame people went back to where they were."

"Alvin took Deena's hand and they went out on the dance floor. I laughed and at them as Alvin winked at me and they began slow dancing. They both were really good on their feet and it looked so natural. My secret admirer Gary Rathbone approached me and asked for my hand for a dance. I gladly accepted and he led me onto the dance floor. He was the star quarterback on the school football team. He stood at five foot nine inches. He had the most beautiful grayish green eyes I had ever seen. He had sand brown hair which he wore combed over with a part. He was also smart academically and excelled in math. He said he liked me ever since he saw me debating when I was campaigning for class president in sixth grade. I said that I never knew a football player found politics interesting. He laughed and said that he wasn't the typical jock. It felt so good being around Gary. He then leaned down and popped the question. He asked me if he could go out with me."

"I liked him a lot but no one ever knew. Gary was a really sweet guy despite being a jock. I told him yes and he placed his lips upon mine. It felt like a a red apple mixing with a peach. He told me that he didn't care what his jock friends thought about our relationship and neither did I. Being overweight in the sixties was social suicide and anyone who dated one was considered scum. Gary knew what the repercussions would be but he liked me long before he was on the football team so it was null and void in my eyes. We danced for the remainder of the event and talked over dinner at the tables. He knew I was a singer although I wasn't famous. He asked me to sing him something. I got up and walked around the table and stood behind him. I placed my hands on his shoulders and began to suing Psychedelic Firefly."

"As I was singing Gary took his napkin and dabbed some tears away. He must've been really touched by my voice but I was baffled as to why for one reason. My voice wasn't as emotional as Danny's, or flirtatious as Alvin's or sweet and toasty as Deena's. Mine sounded like a revving car engine. When I finished Gary said I sounded passionate and fun. I thanked him and kissed his cheek. I came back around the table and sat down in my seat. He asked me where I learned to sing like that and I told him it was natural gift and that my mothers side were singers. He said that is an incredible talent that can't be taught. He then asked me what I wanted to do with my life and I told him I wanted to be a singer. He said that was great and asked what have I done to make it happen."

"I told him that I formed a vocal quartet with my best friends when we were younger and that we had been doing it for three years thus far. Gary was blown away by he was told. He then asked me who was the lead singer and if we wrote our own material. I told him that Alvin was our front man and that we did write our own material. He said that was good thing because the real money lies in songwriting and publishing. I told him that we'd been working our asses off performing in Maryland and San Francisco every summer, winter and spring break for the past three years and he believed me. He could sense the passion I had in my voice about singing. He told me to keep on singing and songwriting and we would make it into the big time soon. I thanked him and we looked out onto the dance floor. We saw Danny and Lucille still together and Alvin and Deena."

"Gary said that Lucille was using him only as a trophy. I looked at him. I knew he was sharp but he caught on just as fast as I did. I commented that we had gotten into a fight recently and Gary looked at me. He said that he was there and that I was kicking her ass. I laughed and admitted that I lost and that I was cool about it and didn't want a rematch. His eyes bulged out in surprise. He curiously asked why not. I told him I grew up fighting in Rhode Island and that I had a even number of wins and losses there and that this loss wasn't any different. He said that I was better than most girls he knew because most girls would've sought revenge. I told him that I thought it was stupid especially when they know they can't win every fight."

"He said that human pride knew no bounds and I couldn't agree with him more. Our conversation was interrupted by the DJ. He said that the dance was over and to leave the auditorium. As we were walking out Lucille approached us. Gary's smile quickly disappeared and asked her what she wanted. Lucille said that she saw Gary kiss me and was repulsed. He told her that she was just upset that it wasn't her and she laughed and denied it. She then walked out the door alone. I kissed Gary and bid him goodnight. When I turned around my friends were looking at me shocked. Alvin asked since when did me and Gary Rathbone start dating and I told him during the dance. Danny told me to be careful and I told him I'd known him for a year and that there was more to him that met the eye. I then turned the tables and asked him how things were with Lucile."

"He said things were fine and I didn't pressure him to tell me more. We all walked outside to wait for my mother. While we were waiting I told Deena I saw the two of them dancing and Deena said that they had a good time. Alvin said that she was very fun and had loosened up for the first time. Deena said that Alvin made her feel comfortable but in a friendly way. Soon my mother had pulled up in front of the school and we got into the car. Mother asked me how the dance went and Alvin said it was groovy. Mother looked happy that we had a good time and began driving off the school parking lot. As we rode home mother asked if anything happened. I said that I got with Gary Rathbone. She glanced in the rear view mirror and said he looked like a gentlemen."

"I told her he was and that he was really sweet and wasn't the typical jock. I bid my friends goodbye we arrived home twenty minutes later. I undressed took a shower and went to bed. May was over and June was in full swing. The heat was more than bearable and we packed our suitcases and headed to Ella Mona Maryland. We arrived on the sixth and Mama Valery looked horrible. Her face looked like it was sunken in and she looked blind in her eyes. She still wore a smile when she saw us walk into the den. Mother asked her she remembered who she was and she just looked at her. That alerted me that her Alzheimer's had gotten worse than the last time we were there. We sang our new material for her. Mother was sitting next to her clapping her hands."

"It hurt me beyond repair to see the second most important woman in my life die slowly right in front of me. After we sang for her we gathered in the diningroom. Mother asked her if she had any nurses come visit her and Mama Valery just looked blank. We took that as a no and mother went and called my uncle Albert. Meanwhile in the diningroom we ate dinner in silence. None of us knew what to say. When mother returned she told us that uncle Albert and aunt La'Donna had been here recently and checked her into a hospital but they said they were told there was nothing they could do for. Afterward they brought her back home and stayed with her until a doctor came. When we pulled in front of the house the doctor was leaving. So at least she wasn't there by herself."

"After dinner we washed dishes and went to bed. The next couple of days we did our normal routine of singing on the street corner. We garnered no new results but we kept on. That next week on the fourteenth we were gathered around Mama Valery in the den. Uncle Albert and aunt La'Donna were there with us. At seven ten Mama Valery took her last breath. Her hand went limp in mine and Danny's hands. Mother called the doctor to the house and he wrote a death certificate and aunt La'Donna called the mortuary to come pick up the body. After her death we returned to California and sat around on our hands. We sang but it wasn't our usual charismatic sound it was bland and boring."

"That Saturday we gathered at Grey Forest Nondenominational Church for her funeral. Deena sang lead on a song we wrote together called Heartache. When we finished mother, aunt La'Donna and uncle Albert eulogized her together. After the funeral they were three of the six pallbearers who helped carry her casket to the hearse. It was so painful watching her casket pass me. She was gone and she wasn't coming back. We drove to the cemetery. It was a short burial and we drove back to Kingsley. We were all depressed. Two weeks had passed and I was still mopery over Mama Valery. I was at our usual rehearsals but I my mind wasn't. I know I should've let go and let God handle it but it was still hard for me. In July we traveled to San Francisco and harmonized on the street corners. When we retuned to Kingsley I called Gary and we hung out at the dock."

"I told him about everything that had happened in the past month and he was all ears. I was glad that Gary was in my life. He wasn't just my boyfriend he was also a confidant and a good friend. We sat at the dock for the next hour and a half. I told him that I was finally in my healing phase was getting over Mama Valery. He said that losing someone was the hardest thing for him as well. He said he lost his mother a year ago and he would catch himself thinking about her unknowingly. I had no idea that he was motherless at all. He said it was just him and his father. I asked if he was getting physically abused by him and he said that last year he was hit by his father a few times when he was drunk. I told him that I thought it was horrible and inexcusable. He said he understood but he said his mother was the peacemaker in their house. I wasn' t motherless so I couldn't relate. We spent the rest of our day together at Jade Monopoly playing several rounds of pool."

"That December Deena's aunt Victoria died. It meant two things. One Deena lost the most loving woman in her life and two she had to return to her neglectful parents. Alvin and I didn't attend the memorial service because we had things to do but Danny did. The following day Danny told us that he spent the entire day comforting Deena. That was definitely something new because I thought he had the hardest time expressing his emotions. I guess seeing Deena in that vulnerable state awakened something in him that made him want to be there for her. It was a real kind and sweet thing for him to do. That was a side of Danny I wanted to see more often than rare."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**Nerdy Nervosa**

"January 1967 was a year of drama for me. My home life hadn't changed at all. School wasn't any better. Kids still picked on me due to my physical appearance. We celebrated Danny's thirteenth birthday on the thirty-first. He was still as nonchalant like he always been. We had written new material around that time. In February I started to realize I liked Danny. I know it sounds crazy for the nerdy girl to like the greaser or bad boy but I did. He was just so alluring and his personality was the exact opposite of mine. I was one of those girls that was very timid and didn't express myself. I don't know if Danny was into those kind of girls. At the end of February things started changing. Danny started developing feelings for Kimberly. From my perspective I don't think she liked him but it was apparent that it was other way around."

"In March we were given a group project for the first time in four years. We teamed up to do the project. We met up at Danny's house to work on it. As we worked I noticed that Danny would touch Kimberly's hand and she would politely remove it. Now girls have different way of doing things when it comes to emotions than boys. So when I saw her remove his hand from hers that could've meant anything. I didn't call her out on it because I didn't want to assume anything. That following Friday we presented our project in front of the class. We got a ninety-four and I was satisfied. That Monday we returned to school and the captain of the cheerleading squad Lucille Mortenson asked Danny out and he said whatever and took him by the hand and walked off. I was enraged. I couldn't believe she took our best friend away from and so blatantly at that."

"What happened next I didn't expect. I was coming out of social studies and Kimberly and Danny were kissing each other. They separated and were looking at me. I ran off to the girls bathroom. I pushed past several kids burst through the girls bathroom door. I locked myself in the stall and let it all out. Kimberly came in and tried to explain herself and I didn't want to hear it. I told her she could have any boy she wanted why did she have to take mine. She said she didn't like him like that but I called her a liar. After a while the bathroom was silent so I believed she had left. I came out of the stall and cleaned my face at the sink. I grabbed my backpack and headed to mathematics. When I got there I couldn't focus on my work. My mind kept repaying the kissing scene between my best friend and the boy I was in love with. When math ended I headed to lunch. I had sat alone. I still talked to Alvin because he hadn't done anything. I would send Kimberly nasty looks when she would look in my direction. Alvin hated that we weren't talking but he let the event run its course."

"For spring break I was home alone. We still weren't talking so we had no reason to rehearse. At home I would clean the house and go to Jade Monopoly. I talked to Cody about my problem and he said maybe it wasn't what it appeared. I never gave that any thought, but then again at the moment when I saw them how could I think any differently. They were kissing each other for Pete's sake. Cody said that the entire ordeal could've been a test of our friendship. I looked at him and said Kimberly was still my best friend I just couldn't forgive someone who kissed someone I liked. Cody asked if I was dating him and I said no. He felt Kimberly nor Danny had anything to apologize for. I thought about it and told him he was right."

"I went home and thought about how to make things right between Kimberly and myself. I left Jade Monopoly and walked home. As I was walking home I heard a moan from an alley. I peeked around the corner and saw Lucille Mortenson getting kissed down by another boy. I never saw him before and thought back to Danny kissing Kimberly. Although it was wrong I can't say it wasn't justifiable. He probably already knew she was no good and he was in love with Kimberly anyway. I kept walking and tried to wrap my mind around everything. Lucille had probably been seeing that boy before she started dating Danny and he was in love with Kimberly and I was in love with him. In either case I was going to keep my mouth shut until things came to the light."

"For the entire month of April I still hadn't talked to Kimberly. Not because I was putting it off but I just wanted to wait for things to cool down."At school Lucille was as shady as she could be. She would kiss him and say that he was the only man for her. Danny would look at her like she was dumb. I never knew why he dated her. I can't even recall the last time I ever saw them kiss. Maybe they kissed in privacy, either way it wasn't any of my business. In my spare time I would go to the library and read books. Reading books kept my mind off what was going on around me. I didn't like drowning out reality but I liked when things came to a head on their own. While I was reading my book I heard a giggle. It sounded familiar. I didn't leave my chair. I did however see Lucille coming out from behind a bookcase and it wasn't with the man I saw her with a few days ago.

"She was a blatant floosy behind closed doors and yet she had the audacity to call herself faithful. I laughed at myself because I knew how played she was going to be when everything would be out in the open. She saw me and smirked. I just looked at her smiling. I stayed at the library for another hour. I was engrossed into this nursing book. I took notes as well. I had over seven pages of notes. I was going to hold onto this until I went to college. I was at the age where adulthood was creeping up and before I knew I would have to face the real world. I put my book away, grabbed my notebook and left the library. I walked home and cooked dinner. My parents had come home and looked at me in the kitchen."

"I looked at them hoping they would say something but nothing came out as usual. The phone kitchen rang and I answered it. It was my aunt Victoria. She said she would be in town for a week. I was so excited. I loved my aunt Victoria. She was the only person besides Carol and Mama Valery that treated me like a daughter. My mother asked me who I was speaking to and I told her it was her sister Victoria. She looked pissed but I didn't care, she was coming and there was nothing she could do about it.I finished cooking dinner and fixed myself a plate. After a while I stopped fixing my parents plates because they never ate my cooking. I made a portion that would last me for a week. I washed my dishes following dinner and went upstairs to my room. I showered and got into bed. The weekend flew by and aunt Victoria arrived on Monday."

"We talked about school and my music. She was shocked when she found my friends and I weren't seeing eye to eye. But when she found out my side she thought I was dumb for getting mad at a man that wasn't mine. I was glad she was telling the truth even if it was blunt. I fixed my dinner that night and she said it was delicious. During dinner she asked about my parents and I told her it was the same routine. She sighed and shook her head and said they won't be satisfied until I cut my ties with them. I told her I didn't care if I talked to them or not because I was tired of trying to gain their attention, approval and most importantly their love. You may think I'm lying but I'm not. Try spending your entire childhood and adolescence trying to appeal to your parents."

"My aunt Victoria told me my mother was promiscuous as a teenager and had several pregnancy scares and when she had me she was mortified. She told me that I lived with her for a year before my mother became fed up and came and got me. I thought it was dumb that she got mad at the fact that another woman was doing her job better than her. Aunt Victoria said that she always thought of her sister as a mean bitch. That wasn't the first time I heard that word because my mother called me that as a child and other inappropriate terms. She said that my grandmother kicked her out when she was sixteen due to her promiscuity and disrespectful attitude. She wasn't the oldest but she tried to act like it. Aunt Victoria was the oldest and then it was my mother and two brothers Tim and Ashton. I discovered that my mother told my aunt and uncles I was the worst thing to ever happen to her."

"I couldn't even look my own mother in her face anymore. I was so disgusted, I asked her if my father felt the same way. She said he was very apprehensive and left me at the firehouse and that's where she found me. I was cared for by uncles and grandmother for that whole year my aunt Victoria had me. She would've adopted me but my mother wouldn't allow it. I thought it was so backwards and hypocritical it wasn't even funny. My parents hadn't gotten home from work yet and I told my aunt I'd be right back. I went upstairs and packed my suitcases. I came downstairs with them in hand. Aunt Victoria smiled grabbed her keys. I took my key because I would come back for my bed later that weekend."

"I learned during the ride that my aunt had bought a house in cash in California when I was younger. It was close to the school so I would be leaving my friends which put a smile on my face. When we got there I saw it was a two story. I grabbed my suitcase out the trunk and walked up to the front door. Aunt Victoria unlocked the door and we walked inside. I was so amazed. It had marble floors red velvet carpet and upstairs when you first enter the house. She told me I could pick any room upstairs. I headed upstairs and turned to my left and walked down the hallway. I came to the first door on the left. It already had a bed and dresser. So I was going to return to my house tomorrow and return my key. I laid down on my bed in earnest."

"I was ecstatic that I left home and was in a place where I was appreciated and loved. I saw pictures of my grandparents on both sides of the wall. I didn't want to take them down for sentimental reasons. They were dead now so I guess aunt Victoria wanted a reminder of the impact they had on her life. I sat up and started unpacking my suitcases. Final exams were next month and I had already being studying for them. I went to the bathroom down the hall and took a shower. I cried and felt really bad for how I was treating Kimberly. May came and felt rejuvenated. I approached Kimberly's table. I apologized for calling her a liar and not listening to what she had to say. She said it was groovy and that we shouldn't let a boy come in between us. Kimberly told me after she left the bathroom she punched Danny in his face for kissing her."

"I was shocked that she did that but it showed she had respect for herself. Alvin came and sat down and was happy that we were finally talking to each other again. As we were talking we saw Lucille looking in our direction. Danny just had his eyes closed and arms folded. He looked like he didn't give a damn about her. Like I said everything would come to the light. The end of the school year dance was next week and so was final exams. We then noticed Alvin was sad. We asked him what was wrong and he said his mother was in a rehabilitation center. I offered him to come stay with me if he wanted and he accepted. Kimberly then asked if he was going to the dance and he said he was but he would feel guilty because his mom was in the rehab center."

"He continued on and said he would go because his mother would want him to have a good time. Kimberly agreed and Danny came to the table. He asked why Danny was looking sad and I told him and he said he needed to suck i t up. Kimberly reprimanded him and said he needed to be sensitive to those around him especially his friends. The bell then rang and we headed to class. On our way there Lucille came in front of us and hugged Danny. She told us it was their time to be alone. Kimberly told her to fuck off and go get educated. She laughed and walked off with Danny. We walked to class and did reviews in each one. When school dismissed we were walking in the hallway when Lucille and her two friends approached us."

"She said she wanted to fight Kimberly and Kimberly agreed. She told Lucille to meet her in the convenience store parking lot across the street in ten minutes. Lucille agreed and we left the school and walked to the convenience store. I wasn't going to try and talk her out of it because I believed Lucille deserved a beat down. As time winded down students started flooding the parking lot. Lucille and her friends were at her side smiling. I saw Alvin and Danny walking in the crowd to. Kimberly pulled her hair into a bun and walked over to Lucille. Kimberly said if she wins she wins and if she loses she loses. Lucille said if she wins Kimberly had to pay her twenty dollars. Kimberly agreed and they began brawling. Kimberly got a multiple licks in. But do to her weight she tired out quickly and Lucille gained the advantage."

"Lucille tackled her to the ground and straddled her. She started punching Kimberly in her face. After six blows Kimberly was out cold. Lucille got off her and told us that Kimberly owed her twenty dollars and claimed victory. The three of us ran over to Kimberly and helped her up. She awoke an hour later. I had bought an ice pack to bring down the swelling. At that time she and Danny reconciled and things were back to the way they used to be. That next week I talked to Kimberly on the phone about the dance and what I was going to wear. Kimberly thought my outfit sounded pretty enough despite it not revealing anything. I revealed to Kimberly that I would confess my feelings to Danny when the time was right. She was happy because I was taking the first step to admitting my love for someone."

"The night of the dance Carol drove us to the school. I was wearing a teal and purple skin tight yet formal dress. Kimberly wore a peach dress. I thought she looked spectacular. Alvin wore a gray suit. Danny rounded the group off with a suit jacket, a button down shirt, faded jeans and tennis shoes. He wasn't one to go all the way when it came to formal events. Anyway when we got inside the school and were walking down the hallway Lucille approached us. She looked like a five dollar hooker. Her hair was voluminous hair and teased. She had on a short and tight black dress that exposed her developing cleavage. She mean mugged us and smiled at Danny and took his hand. They walked down the auditorium together. I wanted to walk up to her and knock her into next week but I couldn't because she hadn't laid her hands on me."

"I felt Kimberly and Alvin take both of my hands and we walked to the auditorium together. Upon entering we saw Lucille kissing on Danny. He looked out of it. The only reason he was there was because we convinced him to come with us. Alvin asked me if I wanted to dance. I looked at him and told him I didn't dance in front of people. He said it was fine and took my hand. We walked to the dance floor feeling groovy. When the music slowed down I placed my hand around Alvin's neck and his around my waist. Now people looking around us would've thought we were dating the way our eyes were connected and our synchronized body movement. Alvin told me he though I looked breathtaking. I blushed and told him thank you. I was smart enough to know he wasn't flirting because he never saw me that way, no one ever did. I was always friend zoned and I settled with that."

"As we continued to dance we looked over and saw Kimberly dancing with the star quarterback Gary Rathbone. We were both shocked to see that. None of us knew Kimberly would dance with a athlete let alone Gary Rathbone. He looked very handsome that night. I usually saw him in his lettermen jacket and jeans. So this was a side the students rarely got to behold. I looked out of the corner of my eye and I saw Lucille staring them down. She looked angry but what was she angry about she had Danny. After dancing for an hour Alvin and I walked over to the tables and sat down. They chicken, turkey, ham, dressing and other fine foods for a formal event. We talked about how everyone had looked that night. Most of the females looked gorgeous except for Lucille. I don't what she was thinking of when she was in her closet. She just looked unpresentable and detestable."

"It looked like Kimberly and Gary were hitting things off. They had been talking the entire time while Alvin and I danced. She really must've saw something in him we didn't because most girls were typical when it came to guys like him. He was attractive, an athlete and they thought he could buy them the world. They needed to get a grip on life, that boy couldn't do anything financial for them even if he wanted to. He was fifteen and living at home with his parents just like they were. He was upper middle class but that was his parents money not his. He once told me he was going to work and pay for his way through college without the financial assistance of his parents. I admired him unconditionally for that because most wealthy kids would've jumped at the opportunity to not have to do anything for the rest of their lives."

"The dance played early forties and fifties ballads. People of the forties were Corona DuBois, Carla Lexington, Cass Mareen, Ginger Paxton, Sylvia Plankton, Jamie Taylor and Rocky Leone. Although we were in the late sixties the kids at our school embraced music from earlier generations. I ate a few things here and there. When the dance concluded Alvin, Danny and I left the auditorium. As we were standing there we saw Kimberly and Gary walking out holding hands. They kissed each other and parted ways. Alvin asked when did they start talking and she said during the dance. Lucille then came out and told Kimberly that Gary only wanted her because she seemed easy. Kimberly just smiled and said that she was jealous and turned her back. Danny didn't say anything. Lucille walked off and we headed outside to wait for Carol. Twenty minutes later she arrived and drove us home."

"School had let out the following Friday and gee willikers were we happy. No school for three months. We did what we did every summer and that was sing on street corners. The second week of June we traveled to Ella Mona, Maryland to visit Kimberly's grandmother Valery. Her dementia had advanced greatly to the point where she didn't know who any of us were. Kimberly's aunt La'Donna and uncle Albert were there when we arrived. Her doctor was also leaving when we pulled up. Grandmother Valery looked horrible. She had lost sight in her right eye and deaf in her left. But nonetheless when she saw she smiled. We sang Flying Nightingale for her. We then took to the streets. Nothing new occurred but we still kept at it. I was giving it my all while we sang. I wasn't swaying in the breeze like Kimberly and Alvin were but I was having fun."

"That Saturday ten minutes after seven Valery took her last breath. Her last words were '_**Sing me something pretty**_'. We knew what she meant. Danny seemed heartbroken and despondent and in denial. But I don't think he was hurting half as bad as Kimberly was. Valery was the second most important woman in her life after her mother. They had spent every summer together since she was a young girl. I could only imagine how she felt. A week later at her funeral in Grey Forest, California we sang Forever Our Mother. Everyone wanted me to sing lead because they believed I had the most emotive voice ub the group. When the funeral was over we drove to the cemetery. It was quick but you could feel the immense sorrow seeping through the atmosphere. I saw Carol, Kimberly and her uncle and aunt consoling one another."

"We were on the outside looking in despite having known Valery for three years. We will always be outsiders looking in because we were friends with the person who lost someone so special and influential. When the burial ended we drove back to Kingsley. We were all depressed for a week. During this time we would sing but it didn't have that same charismatic and happy sound it always gave off. We were still hurting. Danny and Kimberly looked dead. Kimberly's golden eyes that were always vibrant were devoid of any emotion. In July we overcame our depression and got our signature sound back. We sang some new material and Danny took more a vital role in singing. He felt his talents were more for producing and arranging than singing. We couldn't help but agree but since we didn't have a producer all he could do was sing and play his guitar."

"In August we returned to school for a new school year. Lucille was still up to her old tricks. Kimberly knew she was up to no good and Alvin stayed out of it because it wasn't any of his business. The first day was pretty normal, we introduced ourselves and wrote autobiographies. I didn't tell anything too personal, I just kept it simple and interesting. As I was writing my report I saw there was a boy named Connor Phillips staring at me. I didn't know what his reason was but I wanted to find out. So after I finished my paper I turned it in and walked over to the boys desk. I formally introduced myself and vice versa. I asked him if there was anything he wanted and he said that he thought I was pretty. I was stunned and it was also a huge boost to my self esteem and worth."

"My parents never once told me I was beautiful, so it was foreign to me. I told him thank you and he smiled. The registrar came onto the intercom and we recited the pledge of allegiance and our student creed. Afterward she informed everyone of the back to school dance that take place in September. We hadn't been in school for a month yet and they were already talking about a dance. I didn't mind going to dances as long as my friends were with me. On the bright side I had a whole month to get an outfit prepared. I knew Kimberly was taking Gary Rathbone, Danny was going with Lucille and Alvin and I would be alone. We always had fun with each other if we were dateless. Connor unexpectedly asked me if I wanted to go to the dance with him. I told him yes and that it would be a lot of fun. He smiled and I walked back to my seat feeling internally toasty."

"People around me looked shocked or disgust. They never wanted to see a tall girl taking a guy shorter than her to a school event or anywhere for that matter. I didn't care because although I liked Danny, Connor looked passed my physical appearance and saw a kind person. That afternoon I spoke with my aunt Victoria about the dance and my date. She thought it was wonderful and asked when the enchanted event would take place. I told her it was next month on the sixteenth. She asked me if I had a dress I wanted to wear, I told her I wanted to wear a silky beige one. She clasped her hands together and told me she knew of a good clothing store downtown. I told her I was so happy that someone looked passed my physical appearance and saw me for who I was. Aunt Victoria said there were still some good boys out there in the pool of stereotypical-ness. I sighed and went upstairs and did my homework. At five I washed up for dinner and went downstairs."

"Aunt Victoria had prepared spaghetti and meatballs with salad and garlic bread for dinner. It looked delicious. We blessed our food and began eating. Aunt Victoria asked me how things were going with my friends. I told her we were all writing some new material. She said that was good and asked if Danny had started allowing me to sing lead. I fell silent and my smile slightly faded. She took that as a no and asked why. I told her he just feels that Kimberly and Alvin had more power and emotion behind their voice and that I sounded too safe and low. Aunt Victoria looked almost outraged and said that Danny needed to realize not everyone was born to be mezzo soprano's and tenors. I told her I knew but in Danny's mind I was just there. Aunt Victoria said that I could always quit the group and sing solo. I told her I was way too shy to even stand in front of four people let alone a thousand."

"She laughed and said that singing solo was way better than being subject to Danny's musical prejudice. I told her I wanted to stay in the group and that there have been times where my voice had risen and met with Kimberly's and Alvin's. She looked surprised and asked if that's the case then why was so Danny so intent on having Kimberly and Alvin singing lead. I didn't have an answer for her at the moment and I thought about it. I then told her that maybe he has something special in store for a voice like mine. Aunt Victoria said she hoped so because she said I had one hell of a toasty and warm voice. After dinner we washed dishes and we headed to our rooms. I called Kimberly. After two rings Carol answered. She said hello and asked who was calling. I told her it was me and asked her how she was doing. She said she was fine and asked me if I was doing okay. I told her I was fine. She then gave Kimberly the phone."

"Kimberly sounded her usual upbeat and hippie self. I asked her how she was doing. She said she was fine. I told her that was good and asked why Danny never let me sing lead like her and Alvin. The phone was silent for a moment and Kimberly said she believed Danny had a certain song in store for me. I gasped and told her my aunt thought the same thing. Kimberly said that sometimes in a group the most overlooked member can turn out to be the most successful. I told her I guessed so and asked her her personal opinion about my voice. She said she thought my voice sounded like a roaring fireplace with a tinge of honey. She said that even though I wasn't meant to the high notes I could still be powerful with my voice with the appropriate arrangement. None of us knew anyone who owned a recording studio so we couldn't bring our voices together professionally."

"I told Kimberly that I honestly liked our live harmonies on acoustic. Kimberly agreed and told me I needed to start standing up to Danny artistically because if I didn't I would always stay in the background. She said although Danny was tough he was open to change and adjustment. I thought about that and said I would start standing up for myself. We then started talking about the back to school dance. She asked if I found anyone to take and I told her I was taking Connor Phillips. Kimberly squealed and said she was so happy for me. I told her I was happy to and that he was the first boy to ever look past my physical appearance and see me for who I was. Kimberly said that Connor was a sweetie pie and he was victimized by the other boys in the school. But behind closed doors they were asking for academic help and he would tell them no. I thought that Connor was very brave, something I wasn't. That's why I admired Kimberly so much because she stood up for what she believed in as well as her friends and victims."

"I told Kimberly I wish I was more like her. She told me I was a motherly type of girl, who needed to grab the reins and take charge. Since I was the victim of my parents harsh treatment I never learned to stand up for myself. But I somehow have a motherly personality and was willing to those in need. We talked on the phone until eight and hung up. I took a shower and headed to bed. Thoughts of next months dance were on my mind. I was still high on the fact that someone found me interesting. That was something to write home to your mother about. In December my aunt Victoria died of a brain tumor. She was the only family I had besides my friends. After the memorial service Danny spent the remainder of thee day comforting me. Kimberly and Alvin had some things to do so it was just Danny and I. This was a empowering moment for me but more so Danny because I didn't think he cared about I had gone through. Thank God I had him there to look after me."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Black Wolf**

"1967 was a year to remember for several reasons. First we harmonized beautifully in January. We had written new material and sang some old stuff as too. I told Kimberly and Deena that when we became famous we we'd record Psychedelic Firefly and Flying Nightingale. Those songs sounded timeless and refreshing. Besides the psychedelic craze was in full swing at that time. My friends celebrated my thirteenth birthday with me. I was never good with expressing myself so all I could manage to do was crack a smile. Deena baked a cake, Kimberly cooked dinner and Alvin went home to get my presents. When he returned we ate dinner. During dinner we discussed new material we wanted to write for later on in the year. We all seemed to be on the same page."

"After dinner I opened my presents. Kimberly bought me a teddy bear and a watch. Deena bought me some clothes and Alvin bought me a new guitar. I thanked them for the gifts. We stayed together until eight o'clock and they went particular night it was slow. I just had a feeling I wouldn't have been able to make rent and it scared the shit out of me. I needed my house at all costs. I didn' t want to ask my friends for money so I continued to prostitute myself. Prostitution seemed like the fastest way for me to make money. I got home around twelve and took a shower. I came out an hour later and went to bed. I had four customers that night and it was more than enough for rent, food, lights and water.I got up at seven and wrote a check for fifteen hundred dollars and went to the bank and paid my rent. Afterward I went to the water and light company and paid my water and light bill."

"I felt good because I survived another month. Later on in February things started happening. I was still dating Lucille but I knew she was a whore. I don't know why I stayed with her. I preferred loneliness than being around others. I remember Kimberly and I were standing in the hallway at my locker. We were talking about what had come on television the previous night. Out of nowhere I kissed her. I don't what had come over me but I just kissed her. She pushed me away. The next thing I knew there was Deena standing there shaking and tears flowing down her face. She took off down the hall with Kimberly on her trail. Alvin had come a few moments later and asked me what happened. I told him I kissed Kimberly and he looked at me shocked but didn't say anything."

"I couldn't see what was coming next. Kimberly punched me across my face. I looked at her not saying a word. She said thanks to me she lost her best friend and walked off. I proceeded to class with what had just happened on my mind."

"I knew I deserved because we weren't dating but more importantly I hurt one of my best friends. Deena was so sweet and kind and she didn't deserve to see what she saw. She probably thought I was the biggest asshole in the world and I couldn't blame She saw the guy she liked and her best friend kissing. I didn't know she liked me, she never gave any indication. She was one of those girls who knew how to hide her emotions like how I did. As I sat in science I couldn't help but think what to do. I was acting off instinct so I didn't feel I had to apologize to Kimberly nor Deena. Boy was I stupid for thinking that way. We were given a project the second week of February and had gotten an a plus on it. After the kiss went down I didn't talk to either Kimberly nor Deena. I still talked to Alvin because he had nothing to do with what was going on. He hated that we weren't all together talking but things needed to calm down. Every time Kimberly saw me she would glare a deathly stare. I would sigh heavily and Lucille would cover me in kisses. I didn't feel anything when we kissed but it took my mind off Kimberly and Deena. I looked at Kimberly with a blank expression but she was looking down at a book she was reading."

Lucille brought me out of my thoughts and told me to forget about them and focus on her. That evening Lucille came to my house. We went for a swim in my recent chlorine rinsed pool. She chased me and landed lustful kisses on my lips. I returned her with empty ones. She must've been dumb as hell because she didn't once ask why I was hesitant about kissing her. I knew she was cheating on me, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. I didn't cheat on her but I did by kissing Kimberly. I we were were both even without each others knowledge. After I came to the surface I just floated in the water. She asked me if everything was okay and I told her I was fine. I didn't need or want her in my business so I kept my distance. After we swam we went inside and dried off and changed back into our clothes. Lucille and I lounged around in the livingroom looking at television. Lucille then got up and told me she was leaving. I wasn't looking for a kiss from her, which was honestly something I was excited about. I knew she was a whore and that she was sleeping around with grown men and boys our age."

"When I got to school the next day things were pretty much the same. Kimberly, Deena and I still weren't talking. I went to my usual table and sat down. It wasn't long before Lucille joined me. One of the jocks next to me was doing LSD. It was anybody's guess how he got through the front door but then again Kingsley Middle School was loose on security. He asked me I wanted any and I told him yes. He gave me some and I sniffed it. It didn't do much for me like the first psychedelic drug did two years ago. It made me calmer and mellow. When the bell rang I headed to class. I sat down and Valeria Terrell walked up to my desk. She leaned on my desk blowing a bubble with her gum. Her cleavage was exposed and I could see her breasts hanging out. She asked me if I could eat her out. I told her it would cost her sixty dollars. She smiled and said okay. I told her to meet at the gate after school.

"I had work that night but I ended up making an extra sixty dollars. Our teacher came in and placed his suitcase on the desk. He looked annoyed but i didn't care, whatever happened to you before you come here wasn't our problem point, blank period. He began talking about ACE method. I found English as a mental release. I was allowed to express myself in anyway I wanted without judgment. He then gave us a packet and told us we had to turn it in by the end of the period. I looked at the paper and read the directions. It was pretty cut and dry. I felt there was no I could mess up on the assignment. I finished the packet in twenty-five minutes and I went and handed it in. My teacher looked at me with a distant expression. He usually was happy and up for teaching but that particular day he was in a real funk. I then walked back to my seat and sat down. I was wondering if I wanted to add some new clientele to my list. I had been in the prostitution business for seven years by 1967 and it was the only thing I could pick up to survive until my friends and I reached our dream."

"I looked out the window until the bell rang for second period. I headed to my next class in a tuned out fashion. When I got there I sat down and put my head down on the desk. I thought about Kimberly and Deena. I missed talking with both of them. I needed to make things right, but right now they wanted to chop my head off so I decided against talking to them. I lifted my head when I head students come in. They were discussing their plans for the weekend. I didn't care what their plans because they were sexually explicit. They could talk about that outside of school but for some reason they just wanted people to hear them. I just sat in annoyance as the teacher came in and started class. We went over several math problems and he administered a quiz over what we learned through the week. I was good at math so I executed every problem just as he had taught us. When I finished I turned in my quiz and returned to my seat. At lunch Lucille sat next to me. She kissed me and it was just like blah to me."

"She stared discussing how her day was going. I was half listening. I saw Kimberly and Deena in the distance. I sent them both a glimmer of apology in my eyes and Kimberly ignored me. Deena averted her eyes back to a book she was reading. I then left the table and sat by myself. Alvin then joined me and asked how things were going with the queen bitch. I told him it was the same old thing. Alvin chuckled and asked if I had talked to Deena and Kimberly. I told him I really wanted to talk to them but I wanted things to calm down before we talked. Alvin looked at both girls and said not wait to long. I told him I didn't plan to. The school lunch was the same healthy and delightful. Our school had a nice budget and we were able to have some nice accouterments and things. After lunch I headed to my last class of the day. It was science which I hated. I listened to my teacher stress the importance of precipitation."

"When school ended I met Valeria at the school gates. We walked to my house. During the walk home Valeria didn't speak which I savored. When we got to my house I asked her if she was thirsty and she said no. I then led her to my bedroom. She laid down on my bed and removed her panties and spread her legs. I saw her vagina and it was lubricated. I knelt down between her legs and inserted my tongue in her valvula. It tasted of cinnamon. She seemed like a clean girl but you could never be too safe. Valeria then started moaning as I worked my tongue like a tornado. I felt her dig her hands into my scalp. I kissed her clitoris and it sent her over the edge. I felt her toes curl into my back. She moaned my name and told me to work my magic. I continued licking her clitoris. I didn't have a tongue ring but I felt I didn't need that. A persons tongue could suffice and please a partner."

"I squeezed her thighs tightly. I was so used to giving sexual pleasures I didn't aroused by it. I then felt her clitoris clench around my tongue and I pulled my tongue out. She orgasmed and grabbed several tissues before she started running. She grabbed her panties and put them back on. She then got of my bed and walked to my bathroom and she washed her hands. Afterward she opened her purse and placed ninety dollars on my dresser and thanked me for a good time. I nodded my head and walked her to the front door. She then told me she wouldn't tell anyone. I smirked and she walked downstairs. I shut the door and walked to the kitchen and washed my hands. I didn't care if she told anyone or not. I mean we weren't dating and she knew that. After I washed my hands I grabbed some cash and headed to the clinic to get tested. When the doctor told me I was clear of diseases I was internally relieved. I returned and got ready for work. I walked to the corner. Soon a car pulled up in front of me. It was one of the jocks from Alvin's brother Jason's school. I got in his car and he drove down the street. He told me not to tell anyone. I ignored him and had my arms folded. When we got to his house he laid down on his bed and took his lettermen jack and jeans and underwear."

"He told me he wanted me to deflower him. I told him it would cost him two hundred and fifty. He told me fine and I undid my pants and underwear. I climbed into bed and before I penetrated I put on a condom. I then coated my fingers with lotion and placed one at his entrance. The boy grunted at the foreign invasion. I then added a second finger and began scissoring his hole. After I felt he was adjusted I added a third finger and began probing his hole a little faster stretching him out. After doing that several times I removed my fingers and aligned myself at his entrance. I placed my penis at his entrance and slowly pushed in. The boy bit his bottom lip in pleasure and I began to thrust inside of him. I could tell he had been with a boy before. He told me to go faster and tried to kiss me. I avoided his mouth and continued thrusting. When I found his prostate I sent him into overdrive and he gripped my back. I was sure there were scratch marks back there. I could feel the blood running down."

"After several thrusts I pulled out and removed my condom and we both got dressed. He put on his lettermen jacket and drove me back to my neighborhood. He gave me my payment and I got out of the car. Then I stood there in the night awaiting my next customer. A white car approached. I walked to the car and saw it was a woman. She looked about nineteen. She asked me if I would show her a good time. I smirked flirtatiously and got in the car. She didn't ask me how old I was and told me she would pay three hundred dollars for a quick missionary. I told her that was fine. When we got to her apartment I noticed we were in an expensive neighborhood. We walked to her apartment and went inside. I walked straight to her bedroom and she undressed. I left the room and walked down to the hallway bathroom and undressed. When I came back I saw her laying down on the bed with her legs spread. I walked over to the bed and put on a condom. I slowly penetrated her."

"She then told me my size felt good. I didn't say anything and began to slowly thrust in her vagina. We didn't have any eye contact with each other. After doing missionary with her I knelt down between her legs and started giving her oral. She screamed in joy as my tongue made contact with her clitoris. Hers tasted of lavender body wash. I twirled my tongue in a circular motion like a buffering machine. I then went from up and down like a Popsicle. She was ecstatic and moaned in pleasure. When I felt her valvula clench around my tongue I pulled out and she orgasmed on her bedsheets. She then winked at me and placed the three hundred dollars on the nightstand. We then got dressed and she drove me back to Amory Vineyard. She thanked me for a good time and I smiled at her and got out of the car. I then saw it was around nine o'clock and walked inside. I took a shower and ate dinner. I climbed in bed and went to sleep. I made six hundred and forty dollars in one night and that was going into my savings lockbox."

"The next morning I arrived school and was pretty relaxed. I headed to the cafeteria and sat alone. Lucille told me good morning and gave me a kiss. After that I put my head on the table and waited for the bell to ring. It went on like that for the entire month of April. In May I at lunch I apologized to Kimberly and Deena for my actions and they accepted it. We were finally back together and I was happy, although I would never admit it. There was an end of the year dance and it was the most important dance of the year. I didn't care for dances. I preferred to be home alone, but since I was with Lucille I was going to the dance. It was whatever to me but to Lucille it was everything. A week before the dance Lucille and Kimberly fought across the street in the convenient store parking lot. Kimberly landed some really good blows on her but Lucille won the fight because Kimberly got tired.,"

"That last Saturday of May the dance came. I wore a suit jacket, jeans, a wallet chain and jeans. Carol gave us a ride to the dance. When we got there Lucille took my hand we walked to the auditorium. When we got inside and the dance had started Lucille was kissing me and grabbing my lower body. I removed her hands and placed them around my neck. She got pissed and walked off. We hadn't been dating all that long and she wanted to go to bed with me. While I was standing along the wall I saw Kimberly talking to Gary Rathbone. I was completely jealous, but we were friends and that's how things were going to stay. I don't think I was good enough for her, plus we both had tempers, so I don't think we would've worked out. Alvin and Deena danced with each other. I thought it was cute because they made it fun for themselves despite being dateless, especially Alvin."

"When the dance ended Lucille went home and I rode home with Carol. On June eleventh we went to Ella Mona, Maryland to visit Mama Valery. She looked terrible than the last time we saw her. Her dementia had worsened. She didn't even know who of any of us were. All she did was smile when she heard us sing. That Friday she died in the livingroom with Carol, Albert, La'Donna and were at her side. Her last request was that my friends and I sing at her funeral. With that she took her last breath and closed her eyes. We returned to Kingsley a few days later. We lost our number one fan and she wouldn't live to see us or her granddaughter sharing her gift with the world. The following Saturday we gathered at Grey Forest Nondenominational Church for Mama Valery's funeral. As she requested we sang at her funeral."

"Everybody wanted Deena to sing lead because she had the most emotional voice in the group. After we sang Carol, La'Donna and Albert eulogized her. It was sad through the entire service. At the end of the service Carol and Albert helped carry her glass coffin to the hearse. We then went to the cemetery. It was a really quick burial. After Mama Valery's burial we returned to Kingsley and was depressed for two weeks. After we broke out of our depression we began writing new material. I wrote The Mother I Thought I Had, I Hurt You and Black Wolf. Alvin wrote Groovy Days, All Smiles and Feeling Flirty. Kimberly wrote Peach Bauer, Ella Mona Cristal and a revamped version of Psychedelic Firefly. Deena wrote Speaking Up, Rising High and Ill Fated Love. We rehearsed all of our songs acoustically and the harmonies were blissful. In the beginning of July Kimberly had spent time with Gary, so in the meantime we harmonized with Alvin on lead."

"Upon her return we were back at full force. We sang I Hurt You with Deena singing lead. She sang with overwhelming emotion and sadness. That's when it hit me that Deena was the key to our harmony. Each of us brought our own uniqueness to the group. Alvin had a flirtatious air, Kimberly was outspoken, Deena was our group mother and I was the bad boy leader. August arrived and we were back in school. I was still dating Lucille who still was as scandalous as she was when I met her. It was the second to last week of August when the principal announced a back to school dance that would take place the following month. I knew she was up to no good so the last day of August I went to tell her I was through. Kimberly and Deena came with me to tell her. When we arrived I saw her kissing on another guy. It didn't bother me any because I knew she was a whore."

"I approached her and bluntly told her we were done. She looked hysterical and tried to hit me. Kimberly pushed me out of the way and she punched her into the lockers. Lucille hit them so hard they shook. Kimberly then began beating her up. Five minutes later Kimberly told her that she won that fight and to stay away from all of us especially Danny. At that moment Kimberly was branded a heroine for students everywhere which she brushed off. We walked to my house that afternoon. I thanked her for sticking up for me. She told me it was in her contract as my best friend. When we got to my house we began vocal warm ups by drinking water. We started by singing Alvin's song All Smiles. Around that time Alvin's mother had a benign tumor and was hospitalized. As her son Alvin felt it was his duty to be there for her. That made me smile because Jason was such an asshole to her."

"We rehearsed until five and everyone went home. I had more than enough money so I didn't have to work that night. I felt that fame was so close to us I could taste it. I detested what I did to survive and fame meant I could do something I loved to do. But more importantly I was living my dreams with my best friends. I went to the den and sat down on the couch and began writing a song called Internal Battle. It entailed all the demons I was dealing with like with my mother. I hadn't seen her in almost ten years and I didn't want to see her. I guess you could say I held a grudge against her. She traded me for fixes and when she dated her boyfriends they sexually assaulted me. I didn't want to return to that life. I was satisfied where I was despite what I had to do to sustain it. I wrote Internal Battle in fifteen minutes. Next I wrote Best Thing That Ever. It described how meeting my friends changed me."

"I wrote that one in thirty minutes and went to my room. September had rolled around and I had found out Deena was taking Connor Phillips to the dance. I felt bad because she probably wished it was someone like me going with her. But I was happy that she found someone who accepted her for her. I really wasn't into clothes like that but I also made sure I looked presentable. On the seventeenth of September I showered and got dressed the dance. I wasn't going with Lucille which made her furious and me happy. When we got there I stood on the wall with my arms folded. I didn't want to fool with anyone. I looked out onto the auditorium floor where I saw Kimberly and Deena dancing with their dates. I know this may sound stupid but I felt like a dog jealous of a newborn baby. We were friends but as I said before I was in love with Kimberly."

"One of my favorite songs by Cass Mareen started playing and I started singing to myself. I loved the sound of his voice. He had a graceful tenor voice. I was envious of Alvin's voice because he was a tenor and I was nothing but a common baritone. People were more attracted to tenors. Well if anything I felt like I was appreciated more for my rearranging abilities than my vocal range. When the song ended I walked to the refreshment table and grabbed some things. I then walked to an empty table and sat down. I watched everyone dance with their significant other or dates. I was glad I was alone but I was a little depressed that I wasn't with Kimberly. But deep down I knew we wouldn't work. So I was satisfied with liking her from a distance. When the dance ended Carol gave us all a ride home. Deena was so ecstatic about the dance and told her about what the great time she had with Connor."

"The following Sunday I checked the mail and saw my water and gas bill was due. I went back inside and grabbed some cash and went down to the offices and paid both. When I returned home my telephone rang. I went to the livingroom and answered it. It was Alvin, he told me that his mothers tumor was removed successfully. I told him I was happy for them and he almost sounded as if he were crying. I decided not to ask him if he was and he told me he'd talk to me later. After I hung the phone I went upstairs and started setting up the bedrooms. After knowing my friends for nine months I gave each of them a bedroom upstairs. I set up the beds and placed fresh linen on them. I put posters of each of their favorite artist in their respective rooms and went to the hallway bathrooms. I cleaned them up and put some new shower curtains on the rod. Afterward I headed back downstairs and went for a swim."

"As the water hit my face I thought about everything I had experienced as a child up until that moment. It made me sick just thinking about my mother. I was shocked I wasn't hooked on any drugs. I have Deena to thank for that. She kept a watchful eye on me when I was deeply depressed. After swimming for an hour I got out and laid in the pool chair. I had on sunscreen so I just laid there for a while. When I felt good enough to walk I grabbed my towel and walked back inside. I walked to my bedroom and hung my towel on the rack and walked back into my bedroom and laid down on my bed. I laid there for twenty minutes staring blankly at the ceiling fan. I then picked up the phone and dialed Deena's number. After two rings she picked up. She asked who was calling and I told her it was Danny. She grew silenced. We had been friends for four years and so I guess the pressure of liking me must've gotten to her. I said her name and she nervously said yes. I asked her how her day was going and she said it was fine."

"I told her I was glad to hear it and asked if she had wrote any new material. She said no and that she was about to start when I called. I asked her what she was going to write about. She said she was going to write about how Connor made her feel when he asked her to the dance. It blew my mind how Deena could write three songs off from eight words. She said would name the songs A Gentlemen, Sweet Words and Kindness. I told her I liked all three song titles. We weren't signed to any labels so we didn't have a set genre for our group. I spent that time writing dark songs about how I felt. Everyone else wrote songs about their personal struggles and feelings. I was the dark wolf in our group. Alvin was the flirty rascal, Deena was the heart warmer and Kimberly was our ingenue hippie. I think I our individual styles fit our group name and they felt the same way too. A week later Alvin had called me distraught. I didn't know how to deal with emotions so I winged it."

"In December tragedy took another person from the world. Deena's aunt Victoria died. Deena was completely depressed. I took the initiative to comfort her following the memorial service. I felt really good because I knew as a friend I was doing the right thing. I'm sure Deena felt the same way. Christmas was pretty quiet and uneventful. Deena had recovered from her depression but she was still emotional about her aunts death. Only time could mend her broken heart."


End file.
